OR IS IT???
Dum de dum
I WASN'T HANDLING ANY RADIOACTIVE WASTE
Also I should get some water or something at some point.
Well since I'm irradiated maybe this Rad-x will get rid of it. Resistance is to current radiation right? Yeah that sounds about right.
Darn it, it doesn't seem to have worked. WELL WHATEVER
HERE WE ARE AS IN OLDEN TIMES, HAPPY GOLDEN TIMES OF YORE
You can just wait outside then, Ian.
Although tbf this does seem awfully clean and sanitary compared to everything else. Makes sense.
PERHAPS... TOO CLEAN AND SANITARY
Anyway as a reminder sometimes flavor text appears in the bottom left corner, here telling me that for once these computers are actually functioning.
WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK FINE
GIVE ME ANTI-RADIATION PILLS OR SOMETHING
THEY HAVE TO EXIST
Anyway continuing my trip through Vault 13.
I'm glad we had this chat, Lyle.
WHAT ABOUT IF I'M RADIOACTIVE
This is the real miracle.
Everyone seems awfully upset. I can't imagine why.
HEY LADY I NEED TO TALK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY
What with the twenty foot scorpions and huge super mutants
not that i'm trying to scare you or anything
Oh hey, free experience. I wonder what would have happened if I'd riled em up? I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW
You too, Generic Vault Dweller.
I feel like this is something I should have done earlier, but I don't think I could have come in here earlier. HOW PECULIAR
He is for the most part correct.
Anyway let's check out the final floor.
WHAT ARE THESE RUMORS
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME
Hey water guard how's it going
This guy seems to be taking it pretty well.
By "go home" do you mean "go down the hallway"? That's not a very long commute I guess.
WELL THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM BUDDY YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN
Oh hey, learning machines.
IMPORTANT SEXY INFORMATION
The underlying message of the entire game, very deep.
Alex told me that this actually invisibly gives you experience/stat increases or something. GOOD THING MY COMPULSIVE CHECKING OF EVERY COMPUTER HAS PAID OFF
Yes of course, Biff.
YOU'RE A DANGEROUS ROGUE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OUR CONTROLLED PARADIGM, RADIC!!
A LOOSE CANNON!
I wonder if I could have broken in there and stolen stuff? I bet I could have. WELL WE'LL NEVER KNOW NOW
Or I could have just come back and asked for some in a second but I completely forgot to do that. THIS IS A RECURRING THEME WITH THIS GAME AND ME.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU PEOPLE
It must be a devil of a time getting into that big ol chair. Maybe there's a ladder in the back.
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
oh hai sentient sheepdog
HURRAY, GAME OVER!!
ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR A HERO
People kept telling me to put points into energy weapons for some reason. WHO AM I TO QUESTION THE ADVICE OF PEOPLE WHO'VE ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME
so in the points go
That's right, bathe me in adoration.
I SURE AM
Bored to death, they wander in place eternally, repeating the same phrase over and over in an attempt to enter a meditative state.
Her gratitude fixed her brain!
JUST SPIT IT OUT SHEEPDOG
how on earth did he get to this conclusion, i saw like... one mutant
oh that'll be FUN
Yeah i bet you're real broken up about it, sheepdog. Go curl up in your doggybed.
I SURE HAD A LOT OF INFORMATION THAT I WASN'T AWARE OF
I considered taking this but then I thought maybe everyone else would need it. In retrospect I probably should have taken at least one.
I've been carrying around first aid kits this whole time like a sucker and Alex told me that they aren't nearly as good as stimpacks and just weigh you down. IN ALL THE GAMES I'VE PLAYED IT'D MAKE SENSE FOR A FIRST AID KIT TO BE A BETTER HEALING ITEM THAN WHATEVER DEFAULT YOU START WITH BUT HEY WHATEVER FALLOUT
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM A FINE ROLE MODEL
And this is why I didn't :/ too hard at that previous comment, haha. IT GOES BOTH WAYS
Oh now you heal me
(he still didn't cure my radiation poisoning though)
I REALLY AM
Anyway one of the most annoying things in this game is that there's no way to tell your teammates to move. Also there's no way to move through them. So a lot of the time, and especially in narrow corridors or around doors, they will stand in front of you and refuse to move, trapping you in place. And you can't tell them to move either, you have to wait for the game to decide to have them move randomly. THANKS, FALLOUT
Anyway let's get a move on
NOT ANYMORE THEY AREN'T
Note to self: find some water
At this point I had no idea what I was supposed to do so I wandered around for a bit.
Story of my life, bystander.
Since I have no particular place the game wants me to go, let's go see what this Brotherhood is about. Maybe they can give me some illuminated texts or incense or something.
You guys don't look very religious.
Haven't I seen you in a Pixar movie?
it's a tough job but someone's got to do it
I'M GOING TO CALL THE MANAGER
Maybe this non portraited guy will have something more useful to say.
She said, with a :| face and her hands on her hips.
FOR WEEKS, FOR WEEKS
was the copy editor just asleep at this point or what
YEAH THAT'S WEIRD
eh whatever let's ask this instead
NOT THAT I NEED ONE ANYMORE, I JUST WANT TO KNOW
So I guess I should join these guys or something, idk.
DARN IT WILKINS, GROW A PAIR
SOMEPLACE IN FALLOUT THAT'S RADIOACTIVE WELL I AM SHOCKED
Sure why not, it's not like I have any idea what else I should be doing.
Anyway, I probably need supplies for this or something, so let's go see the Hub.
Aha, this guy has something called Rad-Away! THAT'S what gets rid of radiation! Not Rad-X. This is a problem since I ate all my Rad-X a while back trying to cure myself because I either forgot/didn't know the difference and now I need more, since Rad-Away won't protect you against getting irradiated.
You got any Rad-X buddy
I CAN GET YOU SOME FREE TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW, BABY
NO I WAS TRYING TO FLIRT WITH YOU OH GOD WHY AM I SO BAD WITH THIS
lemmy strides away, unmoved
WELL WHATEVER someone else in the Hub has to have some Rad-X somewhere.
[cue disney song]
THE CONSEQUENCES OF GAMBLING GRAPHICALLY PORTRAYED
I gotta go get a thing for some guys first for some reason! :D
fine you and the door can go make out somewhere see if I care
I'd rather not have this guy shoot me in the face so
A TRAGIC STORY
Avoid the obviously shady places, got it.
PEOPLE SURE DO CARE A LOT ABOUT WATER
Whatever running with caravans sounds boring, I'm gonna go do a thing instead.
I think I already did this before, but forgot to save so whatever. PEEEEEEEOPLLLLLLLLLLLE
I also promptly forgot about this as well. This guy owes me some money. I should go collect.
More delicious experience for meeee.
Anyway let's see what this Glow place is. Sounds fun.
LOOKS PERFECTLY SAFE
Wow that's a lot of radiation.
HAHA HE DIED OF RADIATION POISONING, WHAT A LOSER
Anyway, after some very quick wandering the first screen of the Glow, I found out that I needed rope to get down further. FFFFFFFFFF
(also bbot lied to me and said i might be able to make it without rad-x, which was totally not true, not that i made it very far into it anyway)
So now I need rope AND Rad-X and i'm not sure where to get either of those things. Well great.
This would be the point where I found it very hard to play this again, by the way. THUS THE HUGE GAP BETWEEN INSTALLMENTS HERE
that's what I'm blaming it on. IN MY DEFENSE it can be hard to get back into a game when you have no idea how to get what you need and there's a huge world you have to canvass to try and find it. See: Wind Waker.
And thus begins my wandering around the map trying to find a place with Rad-X. FUN FUN
Totally randomly, I came across these merchants while walking around. What do you know.
FINE WHATEVER I DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN YOU ANYWAY
Sweet! One item down, totally randomly. At least that's off my mind. Now I just need to find some Rad-X.
Somebody at the Hub's gotta have it, right?
He didn't have any. >:(
I'LL WORK FOR YOU GUYS WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, GOD
This guy didn't have any either WHAT IS WITH THIS TOWN
I have no idea what Geiger Counters do in terms of the game itself. I asked Alex and he said they were basically worthless, so I took his word on it and just left it.
SO CLOSE YET SO FAR
Reading books can really up your skillset. But they eat up a few hours of time. I didn't know this until very recently as nothing in the game told me that. These books are expensive too, dang. I'll have to come back and buy some of these at some point.
I ran into this guy totally by accident. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THIS ALLEYWAY ANYWAY
i shall avenge the donkey's death
Huh, lot of Raiders in here.
you're a bit of a wuss
The only place to shoot.
Potential blindness is a perk that I can't get enough of.
YEAH TAKE IT HARD, BIZARRELY POLITE RAIDERS
Oo, armor! Incredibly heavy armor, no less. FRICK. I had to do so much inventory juggling to be able to pick this up.
Alex told me how to use your teammates as packhorses though. Just give them whatever items you want...
Then use the steal command
And steal it back! They don't seem to care if you steal off them, and I haven't failed at it yet. It does make it a convenient way to carry lots of stuff though, given my packrat tendencies.
anyway THE DONKEY HATH BEEN AVENGED
Yeah all the Evil Ones are gone, uh huh
This is a pretty sweet pistol here. Gonna hang onto this.
Let's see if Shady Sands is still broken.
Answer? Yes. I apparently can never go back to Shady Sands ever. OH WELL.
Let's go back to the Hub and see if someone, ANYone has some Rad-X. Or a pillow.
What is this Skag
I'M A PROTAGONIST
I then found this guy by accident in some building. Oops?
Apparently this is the drugdealer that Lemmy was talking about earlier. Alex told me that there was one in the Hub, but said I'd have to pay Lemmy first. I had already intimidated him away though, so thought that maybe I'd permanently screwed myself out of a meeting with him. HOWEVER, UPON MEETING HIM, HE SEEMED AMIABLE ENOUGH
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT!
give me those delicious pills
I DON'T HURT EVERYBODY
JUST SOME PEOPLE
Speaking of which, while walking around I got jumped randomly by some dudes, intent on whaling on me. I will have none of it sirs.
NONE OF IT
anyway let's continue to walk around
WHAT ARE YOU, A STEPHEN KING CHARACTER
no fair appealing to my love of disco
boogie boogie boogie
HEY BUDDY WHY THE LONG FACE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Games have conditioned me to automatically give money to beggars. That's an interesting behavior to have burned into your head.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE GREEN AROUND THE GILLS HAHAHAHAHA
That's a pretty vague story there, Harold.
IT TAKES TALENT
I LOVED THAT MAN. RICHARD GREY.
Harold has seen way more mutants than me. Maybe Overseer should have talked to him instead.
FRANCINE JE SUIS MORT!
WILL MARK COME BACK? CALL IN AND VOTE
A DEUS EX MACHINA CRASHED INTO US i mean
I GUESS THE TIMES AREN'T THE ONLY THING ACHANGING EH HAHAHAHAHA
thanks for not eating me
Finally armed with both a rope AND Rad-X, let's go see what's in The Glow! I bet it's candy