Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

Ur-Quan, Orz, and Androsynth



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! Still figuring out exactly how in-depth I wanted to go into with these... I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




"Ur-Quan?" you say. "You didn't say anything about Ur-Quan last time!"

Yeaaaah well remember how I said that Zoq-Fot-Pik space was right in their Sphere of Influence?

So I'm off to go bug the Orz AND

FRICK.

There are various ways to respond to this, but I went with The Question.

There's actually a ton of neat detail here. I dunno if they ever get inta it or not, or maybe another race does, but basically the Ur-Quan developed on a planet with some insane predators, and therefore are very solitary/predatory/territorial. Whenever an Ur-Quan sees another race or creature, a voice in its head screams "KILL THE INTERLOPER! RIP OUT ITS LIFE!" (which is a great phrase, I love that)

SO you can imagine that diplomatic relations were difficult at first. The first race to really approach the Ur-Quan were the Taalo, a race of rock-like beings (not unlike the Chenjesu). The Ur-Quan totally panicked when they first encountered the Taalo and attacked them, but the Taalo were patient and waited. Eventually the Ur-Quan realized that the Taalo, unlike every other living thing they encountered, did not set off that intense territorial/predatory reaction, so the Ur-Quan and the Taalo became good friends. The Ur-Quan had a HECK of a time trying to tame their instincts to interact with the other members of the Sentient Milieu, but they tried and the other races were patient with them as well. Mostly the Ur-Quan signed up for solitary scouting missions, which they were very good at.

Off the top of my head, I think the members of the Sentient Milieu were the Yuli, the Yuptar, the Ur-Quan, the Mael-num, the Faz, the Taalo, and the Drall.

Side note - on an Ur-Quan ship, there is only one Ur-Quan. The rest of the crew consists of slaves of some kind. I remember reading that somewhere and I'm PRETTY sure it's still true.

Have you been wondering what that weird brown thing in the corner of an Ur-Quan's screen is? That's a Dnyarri. Or it was, anyway.

Again, more detail. The Ur-Quan scout who had the misfortune of stumbling on the Dnyarri immediately fell under its control. The Dnyarri ordered the Ur-Quan to stock its ship with dozens or hundreds of Dnyarri and to transport them to every Sentient Milieu homeworld in known space. It only took a few months for the Dnyarri to have stretched their stranglehold on all known space and races.

There is a lot of tragedy during this period. The Ur-Quan proved to be particularly subsceptible to Dnyarri mind control and became their favored slaves. Any other race that resisted or just did not prove useful were slaughtered, mostly by the other races. Off the top of my head, I recall this happening to the Yuli and the Drall. Both races were completely annhilated by the Ur-Quan and the Dnyarri's other slaves.

One of the saddest things that happened here is what happened with the Taalo. The Taalo's unique physiology made them immune to the Dnyarri's mind control, which made them a threat. The Taalo knew that their Ur-Quan friends needed their help, so they began to construct a Taalo Shield, that would protect other races from the Dnyarri's mind control. The Dnyarri, however, did not let them complete the shield. The Dnyarri forced the Ur-Quan to slaughter every last Taalo on their planet, something which to the current day still haunts the Ur-Quan. They had to destroy their dearest friends who had the key to their possible salvation. The Taalo never had a chance to finish their shield, and thus the Ur-Quan and the other races remained as slaves for thousands of years.

Originally the Ur-Quan were brown. Now you know!

More detail! Kzer-Za was the first Ur-Quan to discover, accidentally, that intense, excruciating pain would make a Dnyarri release its hold on its victim. With this knowledge, Kzer-Za realized he had one chance to save his species. He waited until he was near a broadcasting system, then I think injected himself with some kind of acid. Before he died, he broadcast what he had learned to every Ur-Quan in the vicinity. In moments, Ur-Quan were stabbing themselves with glass and submitting themselves to hideous tortures so they could escape the Dnyarri's control.

In time, they refined it down to a small microchip called an Excruciator, which, when implanted into an Ur-Quan brain, would cause unending waves of hideous pain. After being outfitted with these, the Ur-Quan began their long war against the Dnyarri, destroying them wherever they could find them. Considering that in SC3 the Ur-Quan said that the Excruciator would probably kill a human in seconds, it's kind of understandable to think that fighting and tolerating this hideous pain for years while destroying the Dnyarri would have kind of done something to the Ur-Quan's brain, not to mention the millenia of servitude, torture, and genocide.

In honor of Kzer-Za's sacrifice, the green Ur-Quan took his name.

Anyway, they hated the Dnyarri so much that just wiping it off the face of the galaxy wasn't enough, so they went through and tinkered with the Dnyarri's genes much like the Dnyarri tinkered with theirs. They removed their capacity for sentience, making them the "Talking Pets" that you see in the corner of the screen. The Ur-Quan use the Talking Pet to communicate with other races, as they find directly speaking to other races to be beneath them.

Considering, I'd understand why they'd do this.

I think this was the Faz of the old Sentient Milieu. The Utwig homeworld is called Fahz, so there are a lot of theories that the Utwig are the Faz and somehow their slave shield came down or something, but there's no hard proof of that.

Heh, people have pointed out how interesting it is that the Green Ur-Quan named themselves after a martyr, and the black Ur-Quan after their current military leader, Kohr-Ah. Who I think is female. Don't quote me on that.

Another Sentient Milieu race gone!

The Mael-num!

If I recall correctly, the Kohr-Ah were halted in their assault on the Mael-num world by The Question. The "Hold! What you do is wrong! Why do you do this thing?" question. The Kohr-ah hesitated just enough for the Kzer-Za to jump them. In the meantime, the Mael-num got their entire species in a fleet of ships and booked it out of there. Homeworldless, they later became the Melnorme, the interplanetary traders... maybe. We'll meet them soon enough. They're one of the few Sentient Milieu races to survive, in one way or another.

Of course, the Kohr-Ah later came back, thus starting the current conflict. I think they came back after the fall of the first Alliance of Free Stars. If I recall, some sources say that the Ur-Quan made an agreement to go their separate ways, where the Kohr-Ah could just kill everyone in that direction, and the Kzer-Za enslave everyone in that direction, and then when they met again, they'd again fight to decide which doctrine was right. Which is what's going on currently.

I'm trying to remember if the Sa-Matra was used by the Kzer-Za to defeat the Kohr-Ah last time, but I don't THINK so. Maybe tho. I know they used the Sa-Matra to wipe out the first Alliance.

In a way, tho what the Ur-Quan are doing is pretty paranoid and crazy and what have you, it's understandable. They've had a pretty long hard history.

Pfff I'm not dealing with this.

ahuahjgujaf

There, you can see how the Zoq-Fot-Pik are screwed.

ANYWAY having made my way out of Kzer-Za/Kohr-Ah space, let's visit the Orz!

The Orz are a creepy species, as we will see. The Orz music is exceptionally irritating which is GREAT.

Here's the MOD
Here's the Mp3, which is very close
The UQM Remix, *Squeezing* the *Juice*, is kind of remarkable because it takes a theme that was aggressively grating like the original and mellows it out into a rather pleasant song, haha. It doesn't quite have that same je ne sais quoi as the original BOWEEP BOWEEP BAI but it's less likely to get you punched if you put it on in the car

High quality!

Keep this in mind.

No one really knows who or what the Orz are, or what they're doing here. The creators never said what their intentions or plans were one way or another, or exactly what they did to the Androsynth, whose space they now inhabit. People have dozens of theories based on what the asterisk words MIGHT mean, but no one really knows.

I'd say.

Heh. My big brother never trusted the Orz. He always thought they were up to something, especially after you find the Androsynth homeworld. He never let them join the Alliance. I usually did because their ships are good ships.

One theory with the Orz is that they "absorb" other races, in a way.

Try saying that. I remember the Orz in Starcon3 saying this in such a happy voice. JUMPING PEPPERS!

Orz ship ramble! Orz ships are pretty decent in speed and maneuvering. Their main gun is a cannon on their ship that fires one bullet at a time that will do good damage. It'll also go through an Umgah antimatter cone. It goes through pretty much anything. Another ability is if you hold down the special key and hold a direction, you can change the direction of the Orz cannon. So you can be running away from your enemy, then spin your cannon around and fire at them as you make your getaway. This can be really useful. Their last ability are the GO-GOs or Space Marines. These annoying buggers (with an accompanying GO GO from the Orz) get inside your ship (if they can, they're fast and aren't stupid so they won't run into planets or anything) and then kill off your crew. Three or four Marines in a ship will pretty much kill a small ship instantly. Fortunately, your crew will eventually kill the Marine, and the Orz is down one crew as a result. This can be really damaging though, but you gotta be careful not to throw all your crew away with GoGos because it leaves you open to attack.

To be specific, the Arilou's homeworld is hidden in Quasispace, the next level above Hyperspace.

Well, next level above Hyperspace is a bit subjective. There's Truespace, Hyperspace, and Quasispace. I don't know if you can really consider them as being on layers, necessarily, although I don't think you can get to Quasispace without going through Hyperspace first.

Jumping into Quasispace? Who knows.

The Heavy Space Slide is a portal to Quasispace.

This is the closest you get to an explanation of what they are, I think.

There are a lot of theories around this. Some people think that the Orz are actually just one entity, and the fingers make it look like more than one. The "bubbles" are the many people they see, because they aren't individuals anymore. Something like that. Bubbles and Fingers as multi and one. Others think this means the Orz aren't really made of anything "real" on this plane, or that the majority of their body rests on some other plane that we can't access. It's all very vague.

I mostly remember that the Orz in SC3 always ended their conversations this way. Heh. All I can hear is how they spoke in that now.

Woops, wrong planet.

There we go. Remember what I mentioned earlier about the Taalo? This area was their homeworld before the Androsynth came by, and after them the Orz.

It's normally not a good idea to try and boss around the Orz. Also, NEVER ASK THE ORZ ABOUT THE ANDROSYNTH.

Some people think this means that the Taalo are still alive somewhere. Who knows.

Who knows what Pretty Space is. Is that where the Orz are from? NO ONE KNOWS.

Heh, there was like a five page thread of people arguing over whether this meant the Orz were chasing the Taalo or the Orz were chasing the Dnyarri. THIS IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS

That glowing rock thing!

It's hard to read. Let's see...

This is in all caps. I HOPE YOU'LL SURVIVE.

---- REPORT FROM SURFACE ----
CAPTAIN! WE HAVE FOUND AN UNUSUAL GLOWING ROCK-THING HERE ON THE SURFACE. WHEN WE FIRST NOTICED IT, WE THOUGHT IT WAS A NATURALLY FLUORESCING, IGNEOUS DIKE, BUT UPON CLOSER OBSERVATION WE CAN ONLY CONCLUDE THAT THIS OBJECT IS ARTIFICIAL IN ORIGIN -- TAALO DESIGN! THOSE GUYS SURE BUILT TO LAST. SIMPLE RADIOMETRICS SHOW AN AGE IN EXCESS OF 20,000 YEARS. REGARDLESS OF HOW OLD IT IS, IT CONTINUES TO RADIATE ENERGY ALL UP AND DOWN THE EMR SPECTRUM, WITH A CONCENTRATION OF EMISSIONS IN THE RED/INFRARED RANGE. EVEN THOUGH IT WEIGHS A TON, WE WILL DEFINITELY LUG THIS PUPPY UP TO THE SHIP. ONE LAST COMMENT BEFORE I SIGN-OFF -- ENSIGNS HODGKINS AND WITHERSPOON HAVE BOTH REPORTED EXTREME HEADACHES AND MENTAL DISARRAY WHENEVER THEY APPROACH THE TAALO DEVICE. NONE OF THE REST OF US HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, SO EITHER THE ENSIGNS ARE JUST BEING BABIES OR THE TAALO DEVICE PRODUCES SOME KIND OF SHIELD THAT AFFECTS ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE'S MINDS. MAYBE THE SCIENTISTS BACK AT THE STARBASE WILL TELL US MORE.
---- END OF REPORT ----

The Taalo Shield.

As you can see! I think why the Taalo shield works to protect you later on is because maybe it just has a very limited range, and the Taalo were working on increasing that range when the Ur-Quan killed them all. Who knows tho.

You can see how ships move around here a bit.

The Vulpeculae stars are kind of interesting. It's a cluster of smaller stars surrounding a super giant, as you can see here. Off to Eta Vulpeculae!

Woops ran into another Orz.

Many people thinks this sounds ominous. I agree.

Aha, the Androsynth homeworld.

I dunno if you can read all that, so here it is in CAPSOVISION

---- REPORT FROM SURFACE ----
XENO-HISTORIAN KILGORE HERE, SIR. WE HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THESE RUINS ARE THE REMNANTS OF THE ANDROSYNTH CULTURE. FROM THE MASS DESTRUCTION WE HAVE WITNESSED, WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THERE WAS SOME KIND OF HUGE LAND WAR HERE WITHIN THE PAST FIVE YEARS; HOWEVER, THERE IS NO, REPEAT, NO SIGNS OF ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT OR INVASION FROM SPACE... JUST A WHOLE MESS OF BUILDINGS SHOT TO PIECES. PROBABLY THE WEIRDEST THING WE HAVE SEEN, OR NOT SEEN, ARE CORPSES... THERE AREN'T ANY! IT'S AS THOUGH SOMETHING APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE, BLASTED EVERYTHING WITH NUCLEAR BAZOOKAS, THEN GRABBED ALL THE ANDROSYNTH AND DISAPPEARED.

AN ADDITIONAL REPORT SIR, THIS TIME FROM SCIENCE OFFICER BUKOWSKI -- WE HAVE LOCATED AN ANDROSYNTH SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH STATION AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE SOME SENSE OUT OF WHAT IS LEFT OF THEIR CENTRAL COMPUTER. AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, ABOUT SEVEN YEARS AGO, THE ANDROSYNTH BEGAN EXPERIMENTING WITH SOMETHING THEY CALLED DIMENSIONAL FATIGUE PHENOMENA. I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS DIMENSIONAL FATIGUE (OR DF AS THEY CALL IT) IS, BUT MAYBE IF WE EXPLORED ANOTHER CITY, I WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND MORE INFORMATION ON THIS SUBJECT.
---- END OF REPORT ----

There, you can see their city a bit clearer.

I was surprised there were weird critters on the home planet. These guys aren't unique or anything, they're everywhere. It was just weird to see em there.

More caps-o-vision.

---- REPORT FROM SURFACE ----
BUKOWSKI AGAIN, SIR. WE HAVE FOUND ANOTHER RESEARCH INSTITUTE. WELL, THE RUINS OF ONE, ANYWAY. THE COMPUTER HERE'S IN BETTER SHAPE, ALLOWING ME TO LEARN A BIT MORE ABOUT THE ANDROSYNTH'S INVESTIGATION INTO DF, DIMENSIONAL FATIGUE. IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THEIR STUDIES ACTUALLY BEGAN OVER TEN YEARS AGO, AFTER ONE OF THEIR BLAZER VESSELS DISCOVERED SOME PRECURSOR ARTIFACTS IN ALPHA LALANDE. AS FAR AS THEIR SCIENTISTS HERE COULD TELL, THE DEVICES GENERATED DF WAVES WHICH WOULD ALLOW THE USER TO SEE INTO OTHER... WELL, OTHER DIMENSIONS -- REALMS OF EXISTENCE WHICH SHARE POSITION WITH OUR OWN UNIVERSE, BUT HAVE A DIFFERENT... GEE, WHAT SHOULD I CALL IT... REALITY PHASE. ANYWAY, THE ANDROSYNTH HAD HOPED THAT THE DIMENSIONAL FATIGUE TECHNOLOGY CONTAINED IN THE DEVICES WOULD PERMIT THEM TO CREATE NEW, FASTER FORMS OF HYPERDRIVE AND HYPERWAVE. INSTEAD, WHEN THEY BEGAN THEIR EXPERIMENTS, THEY MADE CONTACT WITH SOME KIND OF LIFEFORM ON `THE OTHER SIDE', A CREATURE FROM AN ALIEN DIMENSION.

AGAIN, THE RECORD IS FRAGMENTARY HERE. I SEE REQUESTS TO THE CENTRAL COMPUTER FOR INFORMATION -- DATA ON `REALITY ABERRATIONS', THE `MOSQUITO MANGE' AND, WELL... GHOSTS, POLTERGEISTS, AND OTHER MALEVOLENT, SUPERNATURAL CREATURES. THE REQUESTS GROW MORE URGENT, ALMOST FRANTIC, AND THEN... THE RECORD ENDS.
---- END OF REPORT ----

Hawthorne time!

---- REPORT FROM SURFACE ----
CAPTAIN, THIS IS ENSIGN HAWTHORNE STANDING IN FOR BUKOWSKI. SIR, BUKOWSKI HAS FOUND SOMETHING, BUT... WELL... IN THE PROCESS HE HAS GONE KIND OF NUTS. WHEN WE FIRST GOT TO THIS DEMOLISHED CITY, BUKOWSKI WENT WILD BECAUSE THE SCIENCE CENTER WAS PRETTY MUCH INTACT. HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THEIR COMPUTER CONTROL CABIN AND SPENT ABOUT TEN HOURS ALONE IN THERE. WE COULD HEAR HIM MUMBLING TO HIMSELF, THEN HIS SPEECH GOT LOUDER UNTIL HE WAS ALMOST SHOUTING, AND SIR, HE WAS SCARED, DAMN SCARED. WE FINALLY DECIDED THAT WE'D BETTER CHECK UP ON HIM, BUT BUKOWSKI, WOULDN'T LET US INTO THE ROOM. HE SAID THAT NO ONE COULD EVER KNOW WHAT HE HAD LEARNED -- THAT JUST KNOWING WAS ENOUGH TO ALERT `THEM'. HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT `THEM' -- CRAZY STUFF, SIR, ABOUT HOW `THEY' COULD SEE HIM NOW, AND `THEY' WERE MOVING TOWARD HIM. THEN BUKOWSKI STARTED THRASHING AROUND THE ROOM, SCREAMING THAT HE HAD TO DESTROY EVERYTHING BEFORE `THEY' SAW US TOO. HE DID A LOT OF DAMAGE TO THE ANDROSYNTH'S COMPUTER BEFORE WE STOPPED HIM, AND I GUESS HE MUST HAVE HURT HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS. HE'S CUT UP PRETTY BADLY. YOU KNOW, IT'S STRANGE, HE MUST HAVE HURT HIMSELF WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. NOW, WHEN I LOOK AT HIM, IT SEEMS LIKE HE HAS EVEN MORE CUTS THAN JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO, AND BOY, IS HE SCREAMING!

BASED ON THE DAMAGE BUKOWSKI WREAKED ON THE CENTRAL COMPUTER, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT WE WILL FIND ANYTHING MORE DOWN HERE. I THINK WE HAVE LEARNED ALL THAT WE CAN FROM EXPLORING THESE RUINS, AND FRANKLY SIR, WITH ALL OF BUKOWSKI'S RANTING, I'M GETTING A BIT NERVOUS MYSELF. CALL US BACK TO THE SHIP SOON... PLEASE.
---- END OF REPORT ----

So what happened to the Androsynth, exactly? No one really knows. It's one of those mysteries of SC2 that's constantly under debate, but no one's really come up with a definitive answer. Did the Orz destroy the Androsynth? Eat them? Possess them? Assimilate them? Was it the Orz that destroyed the Androsynth, or did they just see an opening after "They" took care of everyone?

The Arilou give you a LITTLE insight into what's going on, but not a lot.

More random creepy Orz quotes!

Captain: Okay, right. Uh... maybe you could tell me why you are here.
Orz: Here is *bright* and *smooth*. The other place is *hurt* Orz too much tired for keeping together.
Other place is **Frumple**. Orz are here now, but almost not yet.
Soon Orz are really here! You are help Orz with *parties*.
Orz looking for you, and find you. So much joy!!
Now *smooth* place all the time, and after now never going back to outside.
Never!!

This is my *house*. Do you want to know a *secret*? Do not *think* it too *not campers*.
You are so many *lonely* *juicy* *bubbles*. It is so sad.
Now that you are *campers* you will have more *parties*
and no more *sad* *lonely* *bubbles*.
This is the *secret*.

Happy to come to my *house* some more times. I am Orz.
I do not have the name because I am Orz. Orz is the name.
Do you want to *squirt*?
If you want to, then you do. It is best, I know it.

Oh, the *alliance party* *campers* are in the *now space*.
It is *happy spices*. Why are you there?
Of course because also the Orz are in the *now space*.
So I am waiting for you to *spit*. It is a pleasure.

Hello! I will say again for extra enjoyment. So much a fun game.
Hello! Hello! Next I will *spit* *slow time* words to you for better *dancing*.
Do you know? Orz can *dance* very well.
Now you are a *happy camper* and Orz can make *heavy space* ships for *dancing*.
Orz ships have the *GO! GO!*. Do you know?
These are best for letting go near *heavy space* planet bodies.
Then *GO! GO!* can going fastest to enter ships of the *other*.
Then it is *happy time*.

~Gravity whip! Man, the Orz sure like killing things.

Even more *pleasant combinations*. I am *successful* the most.
Perhaps after the biggest *party* you will understanding the Orz
and I can showing you other *levels*.
There are so many, but you only *play* on this one.
One is not enough.
We are *friends* now. Never be afraid to *open* enough and *spread the wax*.

Here is *good news*!
Six or nine *pieces* ago, myself the Orz did not even *smell* your *level*.
Can you believe? It is so silly! It is such a *happy town*.
Then the Androsynth made some *slippery places* and then Orz can *smell* it.
It *smells* so good Orz are surprised!
I, myself pushed the *fingers* into the *new town* and there are so many *campers*.
First the VUX, but they are such *silly cows*
they ask so much about the Androsynth we must *dance* with them.
Then we can *smell* the Arilou. Again they are *jumping in front*.
It is always! Nnnnggaaahhhhh!
There is *juice squeezing* and then we are not so *frumple*.
Finally we find you, the *happy campers* and the Taalo *playground* for sliding through.
Where are the Taalo? There they are. It is too much fun.
We are too happy, in this *slow time* *heavy space*. It is a better *level* for games.
This is the everything story. Now you know.

~They don't mention what they did after they "smelled" the Androsynth.

Captain: Our charts show this as Androsynth space. Do you know what happened to them?
Orz: Androsynth are not here. Orz are here.
You are not the same too much like Androsynth. You are *happy campers*.
Do you want to see our *surprising toys*? No!! Do Not!!
Androsynth are so silly. We do not *tell stories* a lot about them.
No more Androsynth stories.

Captain: What happened?? Dammit, what did you do to the Androsynth?!!
Orz: Nnnnnngaaaa!!!! I am *squeezing* the *juice*.
You have become too close. You are *sick* for the last time!
Nnnnnnggggaaaaaa!! It is not enough for *happy days* I am sure.
More and more *juice!*
Androsynth are not the story!!

~The Orz WILL attack and kill you if you keep asking about them.

Captain: Uh, that's okay. I didn't really care about them so much anyway.
Orz: Ahaa! I am told other Orz *cousins* you are *connected* for *camping*.
I am so right!
It is happiest days not to care about Androsynth anything.
So now we can be *together* for friendly *dessert*.
I am so right. I will tell them again.

Captain: Now please don't get mad, but what DID happen to the Androsynth?
Orz: I am say best word *frumple*. Maybe you do not know.
*Frumple* be *round* and yet *lumpy*. So bad!!!
The asking about Androsynth is so *frumple* we are not happy.
Do not asking it so much.
It is better not to *frumple* or else there is so much problems.
No more Androsynth is better.

Captain: Just tell me this. Are we in for the same fate as them?
Orz: You are not same. You are *happy campers*, but already you know.
I will not talking about *silly Androsynth*, now is stop asking.
If you are say the question another time
it is *frumple* too much and Orz are *dancing* for *dissolving* the *campers*.
I am clear!!
You are not so *silly*!

Captain: Okay, okay, you don't want to talk about the Androsynth. If you did, what would you say?
Orz: Nnnnnggggaaaahhhhh!!!!!! It is *dancing*!!!!

~Hehehe, I like the "But if you DID, what would you say?"

Captain: No point in rushing into anything. Let us think about it some more.
Orz: Yes! Think and then do! You will tell us soon. Soon is now.
*Parties* can be so much fun for other reasons.
*Alliance* is good.

~Kinda weird how Alliance is in asterisks, isn't it? Something that maybe erroneously got translated to Alliance...hmm.

Captain: Well, it's been.... uh... well, I'm afraid I have to go now. Do you understand?
Orz: Going. Yes. Orz is go with you same place for *party*.
Nobody is forget.
Next is *alliance* *party*. Always promise is good to keep.
So much pleasure is coming, Orz and the you is change together as soon as *camping* is started.
You are not even aware, and then everyone is so happy.
You are not forget. *Alliance* is promise.
Orz are wait.

So many times Orz are say 'Hello, we are Orz', but next is always same.
Certainly you are *silly cows*.
Now is try again for *dissolving*. Of course this is best for extra fun.
After *dissolved*, *silly cows * will not be *frumple*
and Orz will have *special sauce*, not the *juice*.

~This is interesting because while "dissolving" is obviously destroying something else, this makes it sound like the Orz get something out of it. Like it moves you to a separate plane or something. I DON'T KNOW I'M JUST GUESSING.

You are not *connected*! Too many times I speak the *silly* words in *slow time*.
No more speaking.
Next you must *dissolve* and *become* the second time.
Orz will help you *dissolving*.

Captain: You appear to be upset. Have I offended you somehow?
Orz: Orz is upset! Not one the many!
We are *squeezing* the *juice*!
You are showing that you are not *happy campers*
and so Orz cannot have the *party*.
Orz need *party* or there is no fun and we are *frumple* everyday.
This is so sad, Orz is upset of course.

Captain: If anyone is going to do any `dissolving' around here it's going to be you!
Orz: Orz are not *dissolve*! Why is the *silly cow* say Orz are *dissolving*?
Too much crazy perhaps. You are so sick even for a *party*.
Again I am *squeezing* the *juice*. Nnnggaaaahhh!!
It does not even helping.

Captain: You are just too darn strange. I'm out of here.
Orz: Orz cannot be strange. Orz is Orz. Strange is other thing.
You are the *silliest cow* even more so.
At least you can *dance* with Orz.
After the dancing Orz think you will make good *special sauce*.
Maybe even for other Orz *party*, so do not be sad.

~Now I'm wondering about their "don't forget to enjoy the sauce" thing they mentioned when I said goodbye when they liked me. Did they think I was going off to kill other species, or something? This is so weird.

Happy *pieces*! I am *squirting nice colors*!
Why? The reason.
*Camper friends* have come to Taalo *playground*.
Why are you coming to this?

I *smell* you so much. *Campers* are pleasant.
You are coming again to the *playground*.
We can have extra *fun* for future *parties* in *quick time*.

~Quick time, hmm.

Why explaining? You are not a *camper*! You are too *hard*!
If you want *words with fluid* then you must be *Campers*!
Of course you are so *silly*. That is too much. Do not asking about *playgrounds*.
*Silly* name is Gamma Vulpeculae.
If you want to be a *camper* you can go to my *house*.

Captain: All right, all right. We'll be `campers'. How do we do that?
Orz: *Jumping Peppers!* I am *squirting* more *nice colors*.
It is the best way!
You will be very happy *campers*. Do not be *terrified*.
It is better as *campers*.
You must going to my *house* to start *camping*.
It is 371.3, 253.7 location.
We are so busy here for starting the *campers*!

Captain: What are you busy doing?
Orz: Busy is because Orz have reason. It is secret for *campers*.
You must going quickly to my *house*.
It is too bad you cannot **HYUIVBHJHG** there
but flying the *heavy* ship is okay.
Perhaps next we will show you our toys. But do not look!!!
Now you will go to my *house*.

~I think the HYUIVBHJHG is the most untranslated the Orz get.

Anyway, up ahead, the Melnorme and the Heavy Space Slide!

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