Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

The Zoq-Fot-Pik



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! Still figuring out exactly how in-depth I wanted to go into with these... I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




Well, here we are! Let's check it on out.

Aha!

Closer.

The Zoq-Fot-Pik! I love the Zoq-Fot-Pik so much. They bicker CONSTANTLY. Their arguments are hilarious. Their music is really hyperactive, kind of like the Spathi except even more IN YOUR FACE.

Here's the MOD
Here's the Mp3, which follows it pretty close
Here's the UQM remix, which is not as blaringly annoying :D

Animated GIFS!

For some strange reason, the Zoq-Fot-Pik tended to get weird choppy screencaps like this a lot. I guess it's just how fast they move.

They're always like this. I love this race.

I just love saying Pahoy-hoy. Try saying their coordinates out loud. IT'S FUN. LIKE SPATHIWA.

I love the random insults the Captain throws out at races (or can potentially throw out). The Mycon will be a great example of this later.

Hehehe. FOT. You can say that in such an angry accusatory way. Try it. FOT. OBJECTION.

Heh, Wheeha. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

The crystal ones are the Chenjesu, if you're curious. You'll never see the Chenjesu in game, but they were big players in the original. If you remember from what the Starbase Commander said, they were the first alien race to really contact us and warn us about the Ur-Quan. They were a silicon-based race of intelligent crystals, which I think communicated mostly through Hyperwaves and such. Thus, any mention of crystal beings means the Chenjesu, mostly.

As you may know, the Alliance of Free Stars that got obliterated by the Ur-Quan, thus leaving the galaxy in its current state. Thus, the New Alliance of Free Stars. :D I dunno if I took any screencaps where it mentioned what the old Alliance was called before it got totally owned. NOW YOU KNOW.

HISTORY LESSON.

Heh. Zebranky. God that's a fun word to say.

They are telling the truth, so this is not just random paranoia like the Spathi. They're talking about the war between the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za and the Ur-Quan Kohr-Ah. Actually, we haven't met the Kohr-Ah yet, that reminds me. I'll explain it later when we run into them, I guess.

This is the kind of thing I want on a patch or sticker that I can put on things.

The Ur-Quan Dreadnoughts!

The fighters are INTENSELY IRRITATING. When you fight a computer controlled Ur-Quan, the first thing you hear is "LAUNCH- LAUNCH- LAUNCH FIGHTERS" as it fires three sets of two fighters each. These pairs of fighters will come after you're ship at a good speed (they can even use the gravity whip technique, where they swing close by a nearby planet and use the gravity to get acceleration) and when they get close enough, they just zap you repeatedly. This can be instant death for slow ships. Fortunately, they can't stay outside the Ur-Quan ship for very long, but they can make battles REALLY ANNOYING. The Fighters suck. The Earthling Cruisers point-defense laser system actually will take care of Fighters, as will the Chmmr Avatar sattelites, but we haven't run into the Chmmr yet.

Their primary weapon (the fighters are secondary) are massive big flaming balls of death. No I'm not kidding. They'll tear you up. They can blow up Pkunk ships and other small crewed ships in one hit, I think. They can rip up Cruisers in two or three. Most ships can't stand up to too many Dreadnought blasts. There's a reason why the Ur-Quan won the war.

Also why we banned the Dreadnought from casual SuperMelee competitions cause it was just so irritating to play against.

The Kohr-Ah Marauder!

To be more specific, the Marauder fires spinning blades of death. These things will go as far as you hold the fire button and will spin in place. You can litter the screen with I think 25 of these things, and they're dark colored so it can be hard to see them. They do good damage if you run into one too, tho I don't think it's quite as massive as the Kzer-Za main blast. The spinning disks also home in on enemy ships if you get too close. Slowly, but they WILL eventually come after you if you're too close. A common strategy is just to set up a huge kind of minefield around the map to hamper your enemies. One blade or maybe two will kill a Pkunk ship.

Their secondary ability is F.R.I.E.D., which I think was named by the Spathi and I think it stands for Fiery Ring of Inevitable and Eternal Destruction. It sounds like what they'd call it. Anyway, like it says, it's a massive ring of flame that that surrounds the Kohr-Ah ship for a few seconds. This death ring can kill most ships instantly. This makes fighting against a Kohr-Ah with a ship with short-range can be EXTREMELY hard. However, using FRIED takes a good chunk of battery, and a Kohr-Ah ship can do it twice in a row, but then has to regenerate all its battery. A smart captain will save their battery so they can use FRIED at any time, but if you're flying against them, it's a matter of tricking them inta wasting their battery. Marauders are ALSO irritating to fight, especially cause I tend to fly fast ships that have short range attacks (::coughPkunkcough::).

They're delightfully straightforward about their star's name. It's easy to forget coordinates if you're not paying attention.

hahaha so many little ZoqFot ships.

I might as well explain ZoqFot ships here. ZoqFot ships are small and fast, tho not as fast as the Pkunk ships. They also lack a huge crew, tho they can regenerate battery naturally. Their first attack is a spray of small pellets that, if you're good, can actually do a good amount of damage. These pellets have short range tho. The relative small crew of the Zoqfotpik ship can make it hard to get close enough to use this ability, but if you're skilled, you can use the spray of pellets very effectively.

Their secondary ability is the best. It's the tongue attack, tho I think that maybe it has a better name but that's what it's always called. With a great "bleh" noise, the front of the Stinger (Zoqfotpik ships are called Stingers) shoots out a long red tongue. If you hit another ship with this, it does TONS of damage. Mostly tho, you get the satisfaction of knowing you tongued someone else's ship. Problem is that the tongue doesn't have very long range. If you can pull it off tho, three tongue attacks I think can wipe out any ship.

When me and Alex battled in Supermelee, it was always a challenge of seeing if we could pull off a successful tongue attack. It didn't matter that it was essentially a suicide run. Even if you died right after, YOU TONGUED THEIR SHIP. THEY SUCK BECAUSE YOU TONGUED THEIR SHIP. You couldn't stop a little ZoqFotPik ship from coming up and tonguing your ship. This was especially embarassing if you were flying, say, a Chmmr Avatar or a Kohr-Ah Marauder, where you have absolutely no reason to ever actually get hit with a tongue attack. Those were the sweetest victories of all. Memories.

Apart from the novelty of the tongue attack tho, ZoqFotPik ships aren't particularly useful. They are cheap and fast tho, and you can buy them from the Starbase. There are better ships, but if you're playing along at home and don't have the RU, they can be good if you're good. I think that applies to all ships in a way. I've taken down Dreadnoughts and Marauders with Pkunk ships before. IT'S ALL A MATTER OF SKEEEELL.

Heh. "We prefer your extinction to the loss of our job."

Ah, if only it were this easy for all the races.

And considering that the ZoqFotPik sphere of influence is RIGHT SMACK DAB in the middle of the Kzer-za/Kohr-ah battleground, they need all the help they can get.

Some races give you designs and captains, some don't. I'd list them off in my head BUT IT'S MORE FUN TO DISCOVER GRADUALLY.

It's the sound effect for the tongue attack that sells it. It's this great "bleh" noise. I wish I had a clip or something. I'll try and grab one if I can later.

Frick, I missed the beginning of this and it's one of my fav quotes. It goes like

Captain: What do you know about other alien races?
Zoq-Fot-Pik: Not much, to tell the truth.
       This space exploration stuff is kinda new to us.
Besides the green alien ships...
       Which have only tried to kill us.

Hee hee hee.

I like the phrase tumbling red probes. I like the mental image that brings.

I know exactly where that is! I need to do that, that reminds me.

Since I can outrun the probes, they aren't too much of a concern for me right now. But it'd be better if I took care of em pretty soon.

This is one of my favorite exhanges ever.

And now you know why I occasionally mention Frungy. FRUNGY. Someone asked the creators of Starcon2 in an IRC chat once about Frungy.

Person: How do you play Frungy?
Creator: WITH GUSTO!

I think there was some mention somewhere that if you try to dissect that guy in the back he violently explodes. That could just be fanon tho, I dunno. Maybe HE's the Fot!

hee hee, this is great.

I know what I'd choose.

I like picturing a long, crazy Zoq-Fot-Pik party.

I love the phrase "lethal flaming wheels".

And that'll do it with the Zoq-Fot-Pik for now!

Some random quotes:

We are a relatively peaceful group of species.
       Unless we're angry.
So we find ourselves in need of help.
       We only need a LITTLE!
Because of our desperate situation.
       `Desperate' is too strong a word.
       I think `troublesome' is more like it.

Captain: You have given us valuable information. Goodbye.
Zoq-Fot-Pik: If you must go now, we understand.
       That's it?! You're leaving?!!
We hope that on your next visit
we can establish a mutual assistance pact.
       I can't believe that he's just leaving us here!
       ...what a jerk.

Captain: Yes, yes, that's all very interesting, but now we are going to attack you!
Zoq-Fot-Pik: What?
       See! I told you.!...
       ...but would you listen... NO!
I don't understand!
       So what does all your nicey-nice to the alien get us?
       Nothing! That's what!
       You should have done what I said
       and told him we were the Precursors.

~I seriously cracked up at this one.

Captain: Uh... I need to consult with our, er... our Grand-High Poobah!
Zoq-Fot-Pik: Please hurry back with word from your Poobah.
Millions of lives are at stake!
       Not the least of which is mine.

~I love that last line.

Hello friend and ally!
       Got any presents for us?
We hope your struggle against the Ur-Quan goes well!
       Darn! He never gives us anything.

Welcome back to our world.
       Yeah, welcome back to our world!
I just said that.
       So? It doesn't mean I can't say it too.
       Besides, you always get to talk first.
       That's not fair!
Sorry, that's just the way it is.
        Well why?! That doesn't make sense.
Look, don't ask me.
I think it's something technical.
        Yeah, right. I'm so sure.
       What a lame excuse.


It's been pretty quiet, Captain.
Nothing new to report.
       Are you CRAZY?! What about the Frungy Championships!?
Why should we tell the Earth Captain about that?
He wouldn't be interested.
       Oh, yeah? How do you know?
Because I'M not even interested.
Nobody with any brains is interested in Frungy!
       Well what about me, huh?
       I LOVE Frungy! It's the Sport of Kings!
Oh, all right
he wouldn't know any of the teams anyway.

We may not have told you this before, Captain
but my species is somewhat sensitive
to certain meta-psychic vibrations.
       Oh, no! Not this mental stuff again!
Although my friend's species
has difficulty understanding our powers
I can guarantee you, Captain
that our limited abilities are quite real.
       Oh, yeah! Remember that time
       you said you could fix our broken chronometers
       with your `sympathetic psionic waves'?
       More like `pathetic waves' if you ask me!
       Nyark! Nyark! Nyark!
Even through all this negative energy, Captain
we have discovered that...
       ...and THEN there was the time
       you said you could bend dorfs with just your...
SHUT UP!
       ...sorry.
As I was saying, before I was so RUDELY interrupted!...
       I said I was sorry.
Our most talented Seers have detected
some ominous and powerful meta-psychic signals
from the direction of the Orionis constellation.
       Faker.

We have modified a few of our Stinger starships
for long-range reconnaissance missions.
       We strapped a bunch of fuel tanks on their hulls.
The scouts were ordered to investigate the progress of the war
between the green ships, who we now know as the `Ur-Quan'
and the black ships, flown by the `Kohr-Ah'.
       We sent out ten... two came back
But the information they gathered was worth the cost.
       Unless you were one of the scouts, I suppose?
        Nyark! Nyark! Nyark!
SHUT UP!
        ...sorry.
Anyway, as I was saying, the intelligence they gathered
indicates that the Kohr-Ah will win their war
sometime near the beginning of next year.
        Unless someone evens up the opposing forces
       by finding an unknown alien empire to attack the Kohr-Ah's rear
       or by destroying about a bazillion Kohr-Ah ships.

Captain: Can you describe your `Stinger' starship?
Zoq-Fot-Pik: The Stinger is the peak of our technological prowess.
       It's totally awesome!
These vessels are cheap to build
and can be quite effective in short range combat.
       They turn on a... on a
       well a small round thing that's REAL small!
Remember though, against most ships
the Stinger must close distance immediately
and give unrelenting tongue attacks
until either the enemy or the Stinger is destroyed.
       Yeah! The tonguing is the best part!

~IT IS INDEED!

Next up, the ORZ! Creepy AND bizarre!

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