Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

HOT ALIEN SEX



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! I left my write-up mostly unchanged. Note that Talana is a little pushy during the sex scene when the Captain is reluctant or resistant and that could be upsetting for some! Be aware.




As promised, hot alien sex. WOULD I LIE TO YOU

Back to the Syreen again!

Alright, sounds good.

Good thing someone made a note of that some twenty years ago!

Except if they don't. Which I understand is a problem with UQM. I dunno, anyone who's played UQM have issues getting the Mycon to go to Organon? I've heard it's an issue.

I'd find it hilarious if they just got totally routed.

I like the idea of the Captain saying "So!" in this cheerful, happy voice.

Captain: D:

:O

You know what makes this entire thing like 50 times better?

Picturing this happening with ZEX instead.

Captain: DUUUUH

snerk

CAPTAIN VOICES A COMMON FEAR

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Captain: >(

Hahahahahaaa not that kind of captain indeed.

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAhaaaa sorry still picturing ZEX don't mind me

hee

Uh...are there some aspects of Syreen physiology I'm not aware of?

Haha like the Captain would last that long.

I'll, uh, call you. I have this thing I have to do tomorrow and uh, it might take me a while, but I'll get back to you real quick and maybe we can like, get lunch sometime, or something. Of course I'll call you.

The power of the penis.

Captain: MORE SEX WHOOPEE

So WHAT KIND OF SCREENCAPPER WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T INVESTIGATE EVERY OPTION DURING THE SEX SCENE?

It turns out if you choose this one, it just postpones the sex until later. How odd!

SO LET'S BOOT UP THIS SEX ONCE AGAIN

1992 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

Heh, she breaks his arm. SNAP!

Hahahaha you nerd.

heehehehehehehee sorry don't mind me

The Captain actually admits it.

Hee hee. DARN IT ZEX STOP PERVING ALL OVER EVERYTHING IN MY HEAD.

Then it ended the sex scene. I AM NOT THROUGH YET! RESTORE!

Hehehehehe. Captain's like "WAIT I AM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS AGH MY SPINE"

Hahahaha. I just picture the Captain with a >( face for that.

also still hilarious if you picture this happening with ZEX. hee.

Hee hee hee hee.

At any rate, looks like that was as much as I could get out of the sex scene. OFF TO WORK THEN.

So the Mycon will basically believe anything anyone tells them.

Nah, rather not.

So, why am I doing this, other than basic altruism? For the explicit purpose of getting to this here planet so I can rob yet another species of an important physical part of its cultural heritage. GO CAPTAIN GO

Okay, thanks for that.

NOPE

I'm takin that "pod" suckas.

Haha sure they will.

ALRIGHT LET'S GO

Wow that was embarrassing.

OH WELL VICTORY IS MINE eventually

---- REPORT FROM SURFACE ----

S-SIR-R WE-E AR-RE EX-PER-I-EN-CING MAJ-OR-R T-TECTON-N-IC SH-SH-OCKS HE-RE ON-N THE-E SUR-R-FACE... WAIT A MINUTE... THEY SEEM TO HAVE PASSED... WHEW. THAT WAS AWFUL! CAPTAIN, WHEN WE WEREN'T BOUNCING OFF THE CEILING OR BEING BASHED AGAINST THE LANDER WALLS, WE WERE LOOKING FOR WHATEVER IT WAS THAT THE MYCON WERE HIDING DOWN HERE. WE THINK WE'VE FOUND IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT... IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A SPIDER AND AN ANTENNA, BUT JEEVO, THE ENGINEER WE BROUGHT ALONG, SAYS THE DEVICE HAS THE CAPACITY TO RADIATE INCREDIBLE AMOUNTS OF ENERGY IN THE FORM OF VISIBLE LIGHT. WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO EXPERIMENT WITH THE ARTIFACT, AND WILL BRING IT ABOARD RIGHT AFTER WE EXPLORE THE IMMEDIATE VICIN-ITY-TY... UH-OH CAP-P-TAIN! LOOK-K-S LIK-KE THE-E SHOCK-KS ARE-E ST-START-T-ING UP-P AG-GAIN! WE-E CAN'T-T TAK-KE M-MUCH M-MO-RE OF TH-TH-IS... R-RET-URN-NING T-TO SHIP-P!

---- END OF REPORT ----

That's all I really needed but might as well check back with the Syreen anyway.

An effective tactic.

Considering how a Syreen ship works I dunno if that's how I'd describe it, but okay.

The FUN way to kill Mycon!

...oooookay.

Penetrator. Snerk.

I might grab one or two, I like their ships.

hee hee.

An annoying little one that will barely stop them BUT ONE NONETHELESS

I think I went and visited them next. I can't remember. I took all these screencaps a while ago. No wait...I think I got the bomb first. WELL we'll meet the Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm soon enough.

SA-MATRA cough

Captain: Under me eh :D

And that should do it for the Syreen!

Let's see if there are any quotes I missed for them...

Captain: I am the right one for you, baby!
Talana: Ah, yes... I had almost forgotten the sophistication of human social graces.
Manners were never the Earthlings' strong point, were they?
Your species' undeniable appeal can be found... elsewhere.

~PENIS

Captain: We're... we're.. we're greatly impressed!
Talana: So am I, Captain. So am I.
Earthlings are so... so... earthy!

Captain: I don't have proof YET, but I am certain the Mycon destroyed your world.
Talana: Captain, if what you say is true, it would turn my universe upside down.
You have no sorrow to match what each of us Syreen feels every day of our lives
when we remember what we have lost... Syra... our Eden.
The very idea that the Mycon, or any alien race, may have been responsible for Syra's destruction
fills me with BURNING RAGE!... then I want to lash out and STRIKE the viewer!
It it were true, none of us here would rest until we had avenged ourselves on the perpetrators.
We would find some way to leave this starbase, locate our starships, and hunt down the evil monsters!
Captain, if you ever gather proof of what you say, you MUST inform us immediately.
but until then... do not mention the subject again. It is too painful.

Hello brave Earthling. Your return is welcome.
My people, the Syreen, shall be forever in your debt.
In fact, many of my officers wish to thank you... personally... for your efforts on our behalf.
I suggest you set aside a week sometime in the near future
so that you can properly receive your hero's welcome aboard this starbase.

Oh, Captain! The flush of victory still has my body quivering!
For so many years we have dreamed of putting the death of our beloved homeworld behind us
and now this has finally come to pass!
We no longer live in the past... caught in memories of what COULD have been.
Now each of us plans for the future... toward the bright tomorrow!
And do you know, Captain?
I have plans... plans you would be most interested in hearing
but I shall save them for later... when we can meet... privately.

Looks like I DID go visit the Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm next. Off we go!

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