Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

The Syreen



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




SPACE BABES

Hey, they're set up much like Earth! Standard Hierarchy procedure?

The Syreen! Described as "space gypsies" by some, the Syreen fill that required hot chick role and do it with no shame. Borrowing from lots of old scifi for this one. I always kind of liked the Syreen since I used to fly their extremely phallic ships sometimes. Their race is almost entirely female, for reasons which will become clear quite shortly.

Their music is...well, it's not slinky or anything. I guess it's...closest to the Arilou, in terms of speed and tempo. It's kinda catchy tho, and one of the longest tracks for some odd reason.

The original MOD
The Mp3, very close

Animated!

Captain: DUADHURRHDARDARH BOOBS

I am deeply offended :O

Can't do the conversion, someone else do it. :B

The idea of a Syreen in a parka makes me laugh.

And yet again the Captain has to crush someone's dreams.

Captain: HOLD IT

BOOBS

BOOBS

Captain: BOOBS :D

Syreen: DONG :D

This relationship is already off to a beautiful start!

Everyone thinks the captain is cute. No wait, Talana and ZEX did. That doesn't count. OH WELL.

A good point. Whatever happened to that automated drone way back in the first edition that went to tell the Ur-Quan about the Captain? Maybe a Probe got it.

Remember, the Captain is, at very most, 20 years old by the dates stated in the game. Probably younger. Check for yourselves from the intro. Or, the Chenjesu say they lost against the Ur-Quan around...2135, around the same time that the mission went to Unzervalt. The Captain was definitely born there, and the game starts at 2155.

So at MOST he's 20. He's probably younger. SO I don't hold this reaction against him at all. HE'S THE YOUNG HUMAN CAPTAIN and BEWBS.

Then she just said the same thing again. Boring.

There we go.

Everyone loves the Captain!

I don't blame Talana for being like LOL DONGS cause I mean, there are probably no guys on the Starbase and very few on Gaia itself. So you get two sex-starved people out in the middle of nowhere and BAM PLEASE SLEEP WITH ME OMG

I wonder how old she is compared to the Captain? Hmm.

HUMAN=SEX

Yes I do.

Ha, good! The dialogue option is here. This can be tricky to get, if you don't know what you're doing. You hafta talk to the Mycon a certain amount of times, but I think the Melnorme can also trigger it too.

PFF KNIFE

That must be pretty hidden cause I can't see where you could hide something at all in that.

Here we go, why Syreen are man-hungry.

Syreen Space Patrol! That sounds like a bad scifi porno.

HOT ENOUGH FOR YA sorry I should be taking this seriously

How on EARTH did anyone survive that?

Space hotel, for the space ho's amongst us.

There you go.

Sure they were.

Thus the gypsy bit I suppose.

Captain: Hmm? HMM? HAVE SEX WITH ME PLEASE

Something about this makes me smile. I dunno why.

Aha, she's older than the Captain, but by how much who knows. Not by much I can imagine.

Diani sounds REALLY familiar. I think that's a Syreen captain name when you fly in Melee.

*tear*

They love putting fallow in front of slaves.

Makes sense.

Nine: HERE. GET OUT.

Except...that's kind of what the Ur-Quan said they'd do?

And it was right here in this quadrant! Much less, in our section of it! Haha. You guys must not have been looking very hard.

::insert blue skin joke here::

What, did they eat the old one or something?

We love you too.

HAHAHAHA.

VUX: UGH GOD YOU ARE SO UGLY >( WE'RE STEALING ALL YOUR FINE GOLD JEWELRY, FOR IT WILL LOOK BETTER ON US.

Unlike everyone else, except not.

It really more fell apart when the Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm fell to the Ur-Quan but hey who's counting.

I still don't know why. It strikes me as a weird for those two species to give the Syreen the cold shoulder like that. You'd think the Yehat would be more honorable or something.

Arilou: OUR HUMANS ARE SLAVESHIELDED KAY BYE NOW ::bzwrp::

Hehehehe.

"Get me some cake...OR DIE!"

You gypsies have LOST YOUR SOOOOUL

Talana: DONGS sorry

Theories arise that the Syreen are a kind of "control group" of humans, isolated by some unknown agency. Most suggest the Arilou, considering their vested interested in human development, and why they would abandon the Syreen and Androsynth despite how related everyone is. Only the humans, their experimental group, is worth their time and effort. It's a theory that has merit, I hafta say. The Syreen and Humans are almost genetically identical and really the odds against that are crazy. Which is why the Captain and Talana are hitting on each other with no sense of shame about species, if you were curious.

Hahahaha dinosaurs. That's such an old scifi throwback. Cavewomen fighting dinosaurs. Fantastic.

Huh, this is kinda early for BCE. It's only 1992. Eh, oh well.

True/false? I have a feeling this is false but I don't know enough to say for sure.

I wonder if this is how something like this would actually go down.

MORE ADJECTIVES PLEASE

THAAAT'S why I was immediately drawn to Beta Copernicus! I knew there was something important there for me to remember it that clearly.

YES SURELY THE MYCON ARE NOT RELATED

I find it hard to believe that all other alien homeworlds are not as life-filled as Earth in their own way, but okay Talana whatever.

SUBTLE ENVIRONMENTAL COMMENTARY cough

That's how you know this is an early 90s game! :D

I know she says a bit lighter but I'm picturing Syreen bouncing all over the place.

WHAT COULD THAT BEEEE

CAUSE A METEOR STRIKE LIKE THAT ISN'T ANY CALL FOR ALARM OR ANYTHING IT MEANS NOTHING

HMM. I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED.

WHERE WILL I FIND SUCH A REASON?!!?!!?!?

Yeah that's pretty much the Mycon for you.

Cause those shatter crusts all the time, especially a year after impact.

Wondering why I picked up two egg cases?

Good memory for something that happened 75 years ago Talana! :D

You know what sounds really awkward? "Mycons". I mean, the Mycon never call themselves that. Mycon should be the same singular and plural I think, Mycons just sounds so awkward.

CAPS

Left and came back.

Suddenly this is all VERY RIGHTEOUS BUSINESS

Captain: PLEASE SAY SEX PLEEEEEASE

Yes, their ships are called Penetrators.

No seriously.

I already know exactly where it is. Shhh.

Captain: More SEX THAN I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH?!

Imagine how annoying this would be if you didn't know where the vault was. Actually, the Zoq-Fot-Pik give you a good hint as to where the vault is, if you know to ask them.

No orgies until we get the ships back.

Because surely the Ur-Quan wouldn't lock something like that.

Smooth, Captain.

WHY NOT

GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS

At this point I realized HEY, you know who I haven't harrassed in a while? The Dnyarri, who will be our next installment's star.

Hahaha no seriously I do like the Syreen. We'll be meeting back up with them again after I get them back their penis ships, so no quotes for you.

Previous | Next | Index