Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

Welcome to the Crimson Corporation

Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.

This one'll be short cause halfway through this I ended up derailing and chatting with the Melnorme for a ton of time so we'll be hitting the Melnorme next time, then back to the Druuge again.

Those grey pointy things are Druuge Maulers. More on them in a bit.

Yes, these guys are the ones responsible for selling the Ultron to the Utwig. Now you see why I was like "Druuge? Dance? Does not compute."

Anyway, for random bits and pieces that I can remember, the Druuge constantly exude a horrible body odor that makes them repellant to most species. They also constantly dribble mucus from their noses and drool. You can see this sometimes when you're talking to them. Basically, they're horrible pigmen that no one in their right mind would deal with.

BUT they have something I need. So there you go.

The Druuge are insanely greedy, very individualistic, and their society capitalistic to the extreme.

The Druuge music is great. I think it would sound awesome in a remix with a lot of really distorted electric guitars. It's kind do I describe it. Kind of metal? Heavy metal sounds too hard but it seems somewhere in the metal range. I love the Druuge music though, it's great. It's got this great evil feel to it.

The original MOD
The Mp3, very close
The UQM remix, Property of the Crimson Corporation, actually kind of de-emphasizes the guitars a bit, mixes things around. Pretty different. I do love the screams in the background though. This mix is actually also on OCR, if you're curious.



haha j/k. do you tho?!?!?!

Vortex, Portal, same thing.

Oh wait, this is the wrong menu. woops!

There we go.

The captain is right, it IS slave trading. Thus why a lot of races think the Druuge are soulless and evil.

What they REALLY mean is that your crew become furnace fodder. Now I'll talk about the Mauler ship.

The Druuge Mauler's primary ability is that huge cannon you saw. The whole ship is basically a big specialized cannon. They can fire a shot that does a good chunk of damage (enough, I think, to take out a Pkunk ship in one shot) at a VERY fast speed that has VERY long range. That shot can even go through the Umgah antimatter cone. The problem is that you have to be pretty accurate to hit an enemy ship, especially a little fast one like a Pkunk ship. I think the best description I've ever read for the Druuge ship is that it's kind of like a massive sniper rifle. Also, the cannon has some massive recoil, so everytime you fire, you start going backwards faster and faster. Since the Mauler is extremely slow, this is a good way to get some momentum going so you aren't just a sitting duck.

Now, the problem with the Mauler is that battery comes back at a snail's pace. It regains veeeery slowly. Since firing the cannon takes maybe half your battery or so, this is a problem. So how do the Druuge fix this problem?

Their secondary ability - throwing someone into the furnace.

Yup, you can sacrifice one of your crew to get full battery. They even scream! This is what the Druuge use the slaves they get through trades for. Furnace fuel. If not in battle, then on their home worlds and ships. This is another reason why other alien races look at the Druuge in horror - not only are they slave traders, but they regularly burn their slaves alive for fuel.

Yes, you can sell your crew for stuff if you want. Of course, this doesn't go unnoticed by your crew, and when it gets reported back to Starbase, the commander goes from disbelieving to completely horrified and crew cost skyrockets. It's a fun little detail.

Taken the liberty what

In particular, I think they want to use the fibers of the egg case to create incredibly strong, unbreakable harnesses for their slaves and, since the Mycon Deep Child can withstand unbelievable temperatures, they can reuse the harnesses if they use em to throw someone in the furnace.

Like my portal spawner.

Or the Shofixti Maidens.

Yes, that's right. I could've taken the Shofixti Maidens to the Druuge and sold them. The Druuge want the Shofixti Maidens so they can tamper with them and create a kind of slave factory, with the artificially impregnated Maidens constantly pumping out sub-sentient slave fodder. YES YOU CAN DO THAT TO THE SHOFIXTI IF YOU WANT TO. The Druuge give you six Mauler ships for them if I remember right.


Actually, considering I just spent my time in Yehat space getting blasted by Royalists, I'm pretty low on crew.

I'm gonna go bug a random Druuge.


pfff I'm gonna keep talking to them.

Subtle jab at the Melnorme there.

Not just for slaves!

Hee hee, I like that they snipe at each other like this.

That's something I've never tried. Maybe after I've pumped the Melnorme dry I'll attack them just for the heck of it.

As you can imagine, the Druuge homeworld is covered with advertising beacons. It can be seen for countless miles around, which is why it's no wonder that the Kohr-Ah picked up on their transmissions so fast.

Doubt them? You should. We'll find out more about what the Druuge exactly did and what their "brilliant plan" was later.

At this point I realized that I had nothing to SELL the Druuge and I better fix that if I'm gonna get what I want from them. They wanted egg cases, let's get some egg cases!

Oh huh, the device isn't here. Woops. Ah well. I have all the Shattered Worlds in my memory, I just can't remember which one the Mycon have the thing at. Eh, doesn't matter. I just need two sets of egg cases then I'm pretty much done for now anyway.

Check out the tectonics on that sucker.

There we go.

Yay for my Lander protection!



---- END OF REPORT ----

Oo, level 8.

Good mining planet, if your lander can handle it. Sometimes I end up mining things just out of habit, even tho I don't need to at all. I just see it and I'm like I HAVE TO GRAB THAT IT'S PURPLE

At this point I was like "I should probably unload some stuff on the Melnorme and get that out of the way" and there you go. More Druuge later.

Let's see...we'll be talking to the Druuge some more later, but I'll go and find some quotes you won't see anyway for you for now.

Before we go on, starship captain, be aware of the following
You have attacked our ships in an unlawful manner.
As a consequence, you have been ruled a `Hostile Trading Partner'
and your ship has been declared available for immediate salvaging.
This means that you MAY come unmolested to our central trading world
but that, in open space, you will be attacked by any and all Druuge you meet.

We are the Druuge of the Crimson Corporation, and you are a convicted criminal!
Your attacks on our peaceful Trading vessels are illegal.
You have been judged in violation of Druuge Statute 3183 - subsection B2, entitled
`Legal Circumstances Permitting Unwarranted Attack'.
As a result of your transgressions, your vessel has been declared salvage
and as soon as you are dead, we will take lawful possession.

As always, we also have an unlimited supply of exceptionally high-performance starship fuel
at a cost of ten crew for ten units of fuel
as well as a freshly assembled Mauler starship
which we will trade for 100 of your crew.

Good choice. Your fleet swells with power!
With the purchase of additional Mauler vessels, you would be nigh invincible!

The fuel has been transferred to your vehicle.
I expect you will notice the immediate benefits of our secret fuel additives.

What, you wish to rob our Trade World, eh? Not today, boyo!

You made a mistake returning here, Captain.
We know your true colors. You are a blackheart.

Villains! Pilferers! Crooks!
Look to your souls. Make your peace.
You are about to die.

Foul pirate! We know of your violence and thievery.
You are undone, and must pay the price for your wretched deeds!

Ah! It is the young human in the giant alien spacecraft.

~Something about this makes me laugh. I don't know why.

While I am sure, Captain, that you would never make this foolish mistake
I still feel I should warn you about one of our laws, specifically
Druuge Statute 3429 - subsection A86, Definition of Starship Derelicts.
Simply put, Captain, this statute recognizes that the universe is an inherently hostile place
and any ship which is unable to defend itself incites violence
usually because someone will try to take the unarmed ship by force.
Therefore any unarmed vessel in our space is defined as a derelict
and is available for salvage by anyone who finds it.

It has come to our attention that you have female Shofixti creatures on board your ship.
We have the means to fertilize these creatures artificially
allowing us to produce a hybrid beast to attend our furnaces.
We must have those females, Captain!
We are prepared to offer you fully six of our devastating Mauler starships in exchange.

I note that your ship is unarmed and unescorted.
Therefore, by Druuge law, your ship is deemed derelict, and is subject to the laws of salvage.
While I would prefer to take your ship intact, alas, I suspect you will force me to sell it as scrap.

Under the authority of Druuge Statute 3429, subsection A86
`Definition of Starship Derelicts'
I hereby declare your undefended vessel as my salvaged property.
You have five seconds to vacate the premises before I am forced to remove you by force
Time's up!

the number of ships which can be added to your fleet
and according to my scan of your task force, that is none.
A serious mistake on your part captain, I'm afraid, but a great boon for the Firm.
With such a fine deal under my belt, perhaps I should take the rest of the day off.

~Hahahaha, they WILL rip you off if you don't have room for their ships.

All the fuel your ship can hold.
We are now hooking up the fuel lines to fill your tanks.
Hmm.. Ah, yes. The job is done. Now let's see how much was transferred... It was x units.

Aieee! I am ruined! You have sucked my full tanks until they are dry!
Cruel Monster! Bloated Villain! Slicer of innocent throats!
What shall I tell the Manager?! My spouse?!
I shall certainly be assigned to tend the furnaces.
I shall burn in the atomic fires!

~The thing is that I can't take the Druuge seriously because most of the time they're being very sarcastic or just exaggerating to try and close the deal. We'll see this with their artifacts later. It is nice to think of screwing them over like this though.

This will look very bad on my record, Captain. You have hurt me deeply.
I had expected an understanding between trading partners, between equals
but NO! The moment my back is turned, you fill your bloated tanks far beyond a reasonable limit.
I have learned an important lesson from you today
One I shall never forget.

You have received a fair exchange for your device, Captain.
Perhaps more than fair for you.
I will not be able to brag about this exchange, but then again
I need not worry about feeding the furnace.

Well done, Captain. Quite a fair exchange. Good job.

Ha-ha, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
A fine deal, Captain. An excellent bargain... for me!
Ho-ho-ho! When I offered you all the fuel you could hold, you could have drained every drop I had.
Cold sweat dripped from my palms as I watched my workers begin the transfer.
And then it was over... so soon! So gloriously soon!
I shall be promoted at least three full steps! A new office! A benefits package! Fortune has smiled on me today!
I feel so lucky, Captain, that you did not have the forethought to arrive here with a dozen empty tanks.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Anyway, next up, catching up with the Melnorme!

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