Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

Made by Accolade, released in 1992

The Umgah and the Dnyarri



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2006! I finally just give in and start screencapping everything. I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




Lots of screencaps for this one, some 300 or so. I coulda broken it inta two parts I guess, but I wanted to just get the Umgah done in one whack, so to speak, and they're like 6k each anyway, so it's not like lots of little screencaps is a big deal or anything.

Oh yeah, I forgot, this entire game is almost completely non-linear. If you go and play this yourself, you can do any of this in any order you want. There are certain things you need to do to beat the game of course, but you can complete every quest whenever and in whichever order you want. My way through is just my own personal preference. Heck, the Shofixti quest is actually optional. I just love Admiral ZEX. :D

Those fat little green ships are Umgah ships. They're called...Umgah Drones, that's it. More on them when I actually get into battle with them.

Five, dang.

I love the Umgah. I realize that to most of you they may come as rather shocking looking, but I'm so used to them over all these years that I don't find them weird looking at all. I don't even find them threatening looking. They just seem completely harmless.

Something about them just makes me laugh. Maybe it's that smile. Hee hee hee. Or their sense of humor. I love their weird jokes and that they're responsible for so many terrible pranks (Grand Master Planet Eaters!) and hee. Too bad their ships are SO ANNOYING.

Their music has lots of dripping sounds and is fairly upbeat. Goofy stuff. Some of the remixes get very strange.

Original MOD
MP3, very close
Genetic Modifaction, the UQM remix. Extremely bizarre and weird and distorted, much more so than the original. Ogg file.
Noitcafidom citeneg, the theme or remix played backwards, I guess? I'm not sure. Really weird. Another ogg file.

Animated!

I am absolutely positive that I got Space Pony's HAR from the Umgah, whether I knew it at the time or not.

hee hee, blobbies.

SUSPICIOUS?

I love how the Captain doesn't even care about calling them blobbies. Also that the Umgah themselves don't care. I think that's one of their accepted nicknames for the species.

Hee hee. The Grand Master Planet Eaters for one, as well as why the Spathi became battle thralls and what they did to the Ilwrath, as we'll see...

GO AHEAD, GUESS!

THANK YOU THANK YOU

Hee hee hee hee. I don't know why that amuses me so much. I just hear it in a deadly Terminator type voice.

They sure don't want me here. I WONDER WHY.

Heh, I thought they'd attack me for that. Guess not.

Oh woah, I missed a screencap in here. I'm not sure what their response was. Oh well.

Oops.

Let's give it a shot!

Okay, this screenshot can't even begin to convey how fast this Drone COMPLETELY OWNED MY ARILOU SHIP. I was in battle for less than TEN SECONDS before the Drone SHOT BACKWARDS and coned me and killed me in seconds. I was in shock. Arilou don't seem very effective.

Oh right, how Drone ships work! Okay, Drones are very slow but their turning is fairly decent. Their primary weapon is an antimatter cone which almost nothing can get through. The two exceptions are the Chmmr laser and the Ur-Quan Dreadnought's fusion blasts. Those are the ONLY things that can get through an Umgah cone of death. Also, putting up the cone doesn't take battery. An Umgah captain can put up the cone FOREVER if he so wants to. If he does this tho, he won't regain battery, and it also resets the delay on it. Umgah battery doesn't come back gradually like with most races. It comes back in one giant burst after a short delay.

Now, if their cone doesn't take battery, what does? Their second ability which is possibly one of the most disorienting in the entire game. The Umgah Drone can shoot backwards at an extremely fast rate of speed, almost too fast to be seen. The AI in the game uses this to great effect by positioning themselves carefully, shooting backwards far enough so their just behind you as you accelerate and try to turn to figure out where the Umgah is now, and then they cone you from behind. The cone does a LOT of damage REALLY fast. So basically, the Drone shoots backwards, confuses you, then cones you. They can go across the entire screen on a full battery. If they use all their battery though, they can't shoot backwards until it comes back.

I can't emphasize enough how disorienting this is when you fight them. You fire your shots or missiles or whatever or engage whatever weapon, and then before you know it the Drone has suddenly moved behind you or around you or somewhere else before you can barely react and then BAM. Cone of death. I hate fighting Umgah Drones. They suck.

Thing is, the only person I've ever seen fly a Drone with any success is THE COMPUTER ITSELF. Any human player I've seen tackling a Drone tends to suck with them. The AI however has the advantage of knowing just how much battery to use doing whatever and can guess where you're going to be. This is so frustrating because you can even take a Drone against a Drone and the computer will STILL beat you down. And after getting a beatdown from a Drone, you might try to fight a friend with a Drone and get owned. Argh.

Well, let's give it a shot.

Even from this distance you are not safe from their backward shooting ability.

There, you can kinda see the cone there. for some reason fighting the Umga with the Zoq-Fot-Pik kinda glitched up the graphics.

I think the Drone might be shooting backwards here.

I quickly realized my problem here. While the Stinger is fast, it isn't fast enough. The Drone can turn fast enough to ALWAYS have the cone facing me, and when it isn't doing that, it's shooting backwards everywhere and coning me that way. I couldn't get close enough to tongue them successfully. PukYor was a goner.

So here's a screenshot of the tongue, before PukYor bites the dust!

Considering the Pkunk ship's weapon's short range, I decided that some long-range was in order. Thintho has served me well, so let's give it a shot.

Hey, that went pretty well! True, the cone will block any BUTT missiles, but the thing is that BUTT missiles don't always travel in a straight line. Sometimes they curve just enough to avoid the cone. WOOHOO YES I LOVE THE SPATHI.

Oof, not a good run.

Hehehe, Ei Ei O.

Lots of Umgah ships. Must get to the homeplanet!

Darn it.

Well, this isn't as bad as I THOUGHT it would be just yet. To the homeplanet!

Ah, the Dnyarri. I love saying that. Dnyarri. Anyway, you guys all remember these guys? Enslaved the Ur-Quan for thousands of years, brought the downfall of the Sentient Milieu, the complete genocide of two sentient races for no real reason, was in a way responsible for the Kohr-Ah going totally crazy and the entire Ur-Quan species becoming threats to all sentient life in the universe? This is it! A Dnyarri.

Its music is slow and creepy and kind of empty, if that makes sense. Ominous. VERY different from most music in the game.

Original MOD
The MP3, very close
Didn't You Mean to Ask About Flowers? UQM remix which kind of picks up the original a little bit, kind of weird. Might be a little hard to recognize at first, kind of like Corridor Nine. Mp3.

Animated! The talking one is a spoiler so I'll put it down further.

The Umgah are very intelligent, tho it may not seem that way. When we talk to them normally later you'll see.

Hehe.

ZOMBIE BLOBBIES!!!!

Hee hee hee hee hee.

Normally in the game the screen would flash here, but it didn't do it in my emulation. Maybe the way that it's being emulated stopped it somehow. Weird. Oh well. The flash indicates that...

You guys remember my Taalo shield right? RIGHT?

Oh wow, only ten? I thought it was something ridiculous like 25 or something. Maybe that's just the Thraddash.

THINTHO GO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thintho! *sob*

Also, darn it! I can't buy Spathi ships anymore! They don't just grow on trees! Frick. I don't want to fight the Umgah again though. Darn it.

To think, Thintho killed dozens upon dozens of VUX ships with ease, only to be taken down by an Umgah Drone and an asteroid which pushed me off course just enough to get me in the cone. Darn it. I liked Thintho. Oh well. He fought well. Time to move on.

Hmm, Kwimp is doin kinda bad in crew.

Teleport away!

Hee hee, Pwappy of the fabulous "Pwappy you idiot! I told you that wouldn't work!" convo with the Spathi. Hee.

Is that it? Please tell me that's it.

I just love how that's phrased.

I EAT BRAINY FROG MONSTERS FOR LUNCH

Ha ha ha ha. Try and guess what I'm gonna do with this little guy.

Hee hee hee.

Distract temporarily, temporarily distract, either way.

HAVE YOU FIGURED IT OUT YET? NO?

Can you imagine such a large heinous brainy frogmonster sitting in your living room?

The threat of death always gets people in such helpful moods.

YOU KILLED THINTHO

I thought he wanted to be left here. I guess the Dnyarri sees the Captain as his one chance to destroy the Ur-Quan. Or at least, that he'll have a better chance with the Captain than with the Umgah. Umgah are toast against Kohr-ah and probably not very good against Dreadnoughts either. And considering who eventually wins the Doctrinal Conflict...

Boneless?

Dweeb should be used more in video games. Hee hee.

This should be fun.

On a slightly related note, if you ever play Star Control 3, be prepared to hear the word "sentient" and "sentience" A LOT. A WHOLE LOT. That game was OBSESSED with that word/concept.

This reminds me, I should play through Space Quest 1 for you guys sometime.

Another species hints to where the Arilou hang out.

Fun fact: Umgah are agoraphobic. No, seriously.

heh, can you imagine. Going in for surgery and the doctor just cracking up the entire time.

More fun with ancient history!

Hahahahaha

I love their skewed version of what happened.

Actually, this DOES mark a turning point, tho there are a few things that do that in this game.

You can bug the Dnyarri anytime, it's fun!

SURELY THIS IS GOOD

Hee hee. Okay, I'm just amused by the word blobbies.

I LOVE THE UMGAH SO MUCH.

I still haven't run into the Mycon yet. I'm putting it off cause I remember the Syreen quest is annoying and I don't feel like dealing with it. I'll probably do it after I'm done with the Thraddash.

I think their broken speech is just cause of translation difficulties rather than anything else. That's how it seems to me.

I love picturing the Umgah doing stuff like this all the time.

According to Star Control 3, the Precursors made the Mycon, but according to Star Control 3 everyone and their mother was made by or had something to do with the Precursors.

Although, the idea of the Precursors making the Mycon has merit. More so than some other connections drawn by SC3 anyway.

Hee hee.

I'm positive that the Ur-Quan hate the Umgah for their constant pranks and bad behavior.

I definitely think it's just translation difficulties.

Thus why their remix is called Genetic Modification. Umgah are masters at it.

BABYEATING DNYARRI

What IS that?

Who WOULDN'T want tentacles!

I like to imagine the Umgah just giving themselves extra eyes or mouths whenever they get bored.

Awesome. Melnorme here I come.

YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING DIDN'T YOU

Frick, I can't use those.

Pfff I'm outta here.

More people should use "well pop my pupae!" in normal conversation.

This is one of my favorite exchanges in the game EVER. HOW CAN YOU TOP THAT. YOU CAN'T.

No I don't learn why do you ask

I love the Umgah so much. They're a big influence on Space Pony, I know it.

BYE

Haha, got some ships in this system now.

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME

Awww, no more funny stuff? I don't feel up to dodging more Umgah ships at the moment. Maybe I'll go pester them later.

Time to do a little catching up with various races, then time to hit the Utwig!

I love the Umgah so much. We'll see more of the Dnyarri as time passes, but I'll snatch up some Umgah quotes.

Hey look everybody! Human Earthling came back!
Har! Har! Har! Wonder if we'll kill him this time?
Har! Har! Har!

You're back? Har! Har! Har! More fun! More fun!

Howdy, human Earthling! Back for more fun?

Well bloat my belly! It a human Earthling!
Har! Har! Har! Haven't seen a human Earthling since... since
why heck! NEVER seen a human Earthling!
What coincidence!

Hi there, human! How old fluid sacks today?
What?! You don't HAVE fluid sacks?
Har! Har! Har! What do you call your mate then?!! Har! Har! Har!...
you don't HAVE mate?
THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER! Har! Har! Har!

~I love them so much.

Hi there, human Earthling! What'cha here for today?
What? Can't quite hear you? You have to speak up!
Hey! What problem here?
Human Earthling making fun of me?
THIS SOME KIND OF STUPID HUMAN EARTHLING TRICK? BECAUSE IF IS
Har! Har! Har!... fooled you, didn't I?

~SO MUCH.

Yo! Human Earthling! What up?!

WHAT. SO. FUNNY. HUMAN. EARTHLING. YOUR. FACE. FUNNY. THING.
HAR.

WE. FUNNY. UMGAH. SO. FUNNY.
HAR.

HUMAN. EARTHLING. CEASE. MOTION. AND. DE-ENERGIZE. SHIP. SO. WE. CAN. GIVE. GIFT.

CEASE. HOSTILITIES. WE. HAVE. CHANGED. OUR. MINDS. WE. LIKE. YOU. COME. CLOSER.

Hello human Earthling savior!
Although we appreciate your efforts on our behalf
we really hate `Eternal Gratitude' stuff, so we've decided to kill you now.
Har! Har! Har! We pretty crazy blobbies, no?!

~But that's why I love you guys.

Captain: So what should I do with the Talking Pet?
Umgah: You mean, CORPSE of Talking Pet, don't you Captain?!
DID kill it, didn't you?!
Captain: Yeah... right. Real dead. What do I do with its corpse?
Umgah: Hmmm... as general rule, corpses aren't too much fun.
When we were first starting to mess with its brain
our intention to get it smart enough to accept orders from us
and then repeat them as though they legitimate Ur-Quan commands.
Har! Har! Har! We going to play a little joke this way!
We going to use Talking Pet to order Spathi to attack VUX!
Har! Har Har! That been great! ZAP! ZAP! KABOOM!!! Har! Har! Har!...
...even better than old Dogar and Kazon routine we pull on Ilwrath few years back
before those spoil-sport Spathi stole super cool HyperWave `Caster.

~The Spathi are the favorite victims of Umgah pranks. It's easy to see why. Hee.

Captain: Evil blobbies. You must submit to our overwhelming power!
Umgah: Har! Har! Har! GOOD JOKE!!
We use it on someone else real soon.

Captain: No! I was serious. You ARE evil blobbies. You MUST die.
Umgah: Har! Har! Har! Even funnier!

Captain: Look, I know we've had our differences in the past, but can't we be friends?
Umgah: Sure! Sure! Friends for sure!
Who cares about boring old Ur-Quan and their slave laws? Har! Har! Har!
Here we come to say hello to new friends!
(Har! Har! Har!)

Captain: Here's our credo: Freedom from Ur-Quan! What do you say?
Umgah: Har! Har! Har! Freedom very good thing!
It so much easier to make good jokes without boring old Ur-Quan slave laws!
We wanting to pull a real good one on those stupid nosers from Draconis for long time
but since they battle thralls too, we not allowed do even small pranks on them
like, say... dropping planetoid in their ocean.
Big waves! Big waves! Har! Har! Har!

~Hahahaha the Thraddash woulda flipped out.

Captain: So, Umgah, what have you been up to these past twenty years?
Umgah: NOTHING. HAPPEN. LAST. TWENTY. YEARS. VERY. BORING.

Captain: So how goes your work on that Talking Pet?
or
So how's that Talking Pet getting along?
Umgah: WHAT. TALKING. PET. DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. REFERENCE.

Captain: You told us you were modifying a Talking Pet, didn't you?
Umgah: SADLY. IT. DIED.
NO. MORE. TALK. ABOUT. IT.

Captain: If I try to leave, are you going to attack me?
Umgah: NO. LEAVE.

Heeee I love the Umgah so very much. Har.

Next up, the Utwig!

Previous | Next | Index