Snatcher

Made by Konami, released in 1994

Are criminals just genetically drawn to abandoned factories



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2008! I left my write-up mostly unchanged. Some real gore in this one!




Now we're heading into new territory! And what strange territory it is. :O Oh yeah, here's a video of Metal's introduction. IT'S GREAT.

YEAH LET'S DO THIS

Jean may be dying at this very moment, but I can't leave without making sure my vehicle is in peak condition. SAFETY FIRST.

Had it lying on the front lawn for a while on some blocks, but I just got it working again, let's take a ride.

So from this point on, does Gillian just point at things and wait for Metal to explain what they are?

CERAMICS! MATERIAL OF THE FUTURE!

Metal: look can we just go

Our clandestine tryst will be our secret forever, my love.

I GUESS i can go save jean, if i have to

I TAPED THE GAME, LET'S SIT DOWN AND HAVE A BEER

I can make some hot dogs, we can have some man time.

Metal quietly plotting murder.

It's a great place, really nice service there.

"Now departing for the abandoned factory"

THE abandoned factory?

I'm familiar with how Metal says this because I heard it several times. Why?

Because on my old computer, the game would lock up here and just keep showing this picture with this VRRRRRRRR noise and nothing would happen, no matter what I tried. I thought maybe my ROM was glitched, but it turns out that my old computer just kind of sucks. On the new computer it works okay, so on to new territory!

Gillian says something here along the lines of... let me check my notes. "first day on the job and now this, cornered a snatcher, i wonder if this guy really is a snatcher, guess i'll find out if my training paid off" or something like that. You get the idea.

I FORGOT SOMETHING

But I'm sure I forgot something. Maybe I left the oven on.

I'm scared weh weh

As Metal presses a glock into his ribs.

Nice place. Dr. Wily could set up here, he'd just have to slap a skull on there.

I could go inside, but that would leave the area dangerously unlooked at. IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST.

I'd imagine there'd be a ton of hobos squatting in here, but maybe the Snatcher shooed them away.

As evidenced by a ton of lightning strikes.

LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED!

Hey, I caught the lightning! Hahaha. I AM THE LIGHTNING. |<

There's a motion detector here?

Oh I guess Metal has one, never mind.

Where the Snatcher can get us, alright.

I actually wasted some more time checking all the items my inventory and trying to do things with them, but I cut that. A scream cuts the air, right as I'm investigating my money!

Metal's all omg D: and warns me for the first time about Insectors, which we read about last time!

Gillian's all i didn't get told about this wtf

LET'S ROLL

FINE

IF YOU INSIST

It's never a good thing when a game tells you to save. ALWAYS LISTEN. as a result I entered the factory extremely nervous. Would it be split-second timing where a Snatcher would appear without any warning in the middle of my LOOKing and INVESTIGATing and then I'd have to quickly shoot before I went down? TERROR AWAITS.

I am literally expecting a terminator to pop out and block out the whole screen at any minute. You can imagine I was a bit twitchy through this whole sequence.

and suddenly A SNATCHER APPEARS AAAAA

But no, not really. TIME TO COMPULSIVELY CHECK EVERYTHING

YOU GOT

PIPE

BAM a snatcher falls through

Harsh, Metal.

I usually associate corroded with metal, but sure.

BAM a snatcher from the ceiling

I wonder if I'm just too paranoid

I told you we should have called first, he's probably already seated.

Stop crying, Gillian.

SUDDENLY A SNATCHER

darn it

can you hear the sound of your heart calling

calling for me

Ah, multiple save files. Makes me feel much better. You never know! Maybe if I'd entered the factory sooner Jean wouldn't have screamed, or something.

No Snatchers in here.

I guess.

My pepper grinder, no!

Metal sounds incredibly distraught here. It's Little John, Jean's navigator! He and Metal used to go to school together. ;_;

He looks like a little bomb.

Little John, DEAD!

Paranoid as I was at this point, I assumed that the drops might hide the sound of approaching Snatchers. But apparently not.

TAKE MEMORY CHIP

Darn it NO TAKE MEMORY CHIP

AAAA

TAKE MEMORY CHIP

I am not going to your brother's wedding, he doesn't even like me and I won't know anyone there.

Odds that Gibson is dead: 100%

TAKE MEMORY CHIP

I forget what Gillian said here, but basically a little hand came out and took the chip. I didn't catch that since I was taking notes in a little text file, but my notes only helpfully say "take memory chip" and it's like thanks self. Awesome.

It'd be nice if the emulator automatically paused when I switched to a different window or something, that'd make this a bit easier. :B

SNATCHERS ANYWHERE

AT ANY MOMENT

THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING

THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE

The weird thing is, this SHOULD be comforting, but somehow it just makes me feel more nervous. Like Metal is wrong and there IS something moving, or Snatchers don't register, or something. I AM COMPLETELY CONVINCED THAT I WILL SUDDENLY BE JUMPED BY A SNATCHER HERE

I think Sierra games have made me unnecessarily paranoid of sudden, completely unexpected death.

Hmm, this is new.

FINE

WHY'D YOU EVEN GIVE ME THAT MENU

AND SUDDENLY A SNATCHER

A Snatcher could pop out from behind any of those pillars at any minute oh god oh god

So you say.

Wow, lot of options here I see.

Embroidered pillows, Precious Moments figurines, CD cases, plush toys, pieces of popcorn, stained glass ornaments of strangely intense looking orange cats, pieces of JFK's head...

What large pillar? That thing on the right? Dang, I thought that was a wall. Eh.

Fine, whatever, I don't have to wait for a terminator to stick his head out from behind that graffiti and pop me in the face.

DUN DUN DUN

Most people may go check the body immediately, but I suspect this would be a prime place for an ambush because that's what the game WANTS you to do, to lull you into a false sense of security.

Maybe I've played too many survival horror games.

No movement either, so I didn't cap that. I GUESS it's safe to look.

NOW WE'RE TALKIN.

Hahahahahaha Metal here makes the exact kind of distressed EYAAH sound that Otacon makes whenever something terrible happens. Hee. It's just kind of a horrified oooooh D: D: sound and haha.

MY GOD

For some reason this line made me crack up really hard. I just heard it in this casual, sort of quietly amazed, "wow, would you look at that" sort of tone of voice.

PERFECT TIME FOR A SNATCHER AMBUSH

They're around here somewhere, I know it. Just waiting for me to turn my back.

Alright, let's give Gibson O'Headless a check.

THIS IS REALLY INCONVENIENT FOR ME.

We were going to go to that wedding together!

Finders keepers.

hahahahaha I don't know maybe it's late but all this dialogue is making me laugh for some reason, I keep hearing it in these incredibly goofy voices

Arrrgh so many menus

Metal, don't snuggle the corpse.

Interesting way to phrase that first sentence there, Gillian.

LIKE... SOME KIND OF ROBOT OR SOMETHING. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING.

Gillian, get that out of your pants.

I KNOW I'M GOING TO GET ATTACKED

I JUST KNOW IT

Well whatever, he doesn't seem to have anything else of interest.

The ceiling collapsed during band practice, it was terrible.

Really? But this is the last room. FRICK, THEY'VE SET UP BEHIND ME WHILE I WAS WALKING THROUGH.

frick frick frick frick frick that's practically code for imminent death

Alright, guess I'll head back to base.

A beautiful dance... if only to see it with my own eyes...

I think the phrase is snapped like a twig, really, but okay.

HI JEAN

AAAAGH I KNOW THEY'RE HERE SOMEWHERE

Well that was anticlimactic.

what really how do you know

So apparently I missed something? Hmmm.

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW, AHYUCK!

Let's ask my friend, the pipe.

Fsssst you say, fascinating.

Checking the motion detector and...

OH GOD

AAAAA

I GOT THIS I'M READY I'M READY

WHERE IS IT

GILLIAN YOU FOOL

IT'LL COME UP FROM BELOW THE SCREEN

HAVEN'T YOU EVER DONE THIS BEFORE

AAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>:(

I actually did seriously fall for this. Darn it, Metal.

FINE I'M LEAVING

Man wtf, what am I looking for

YEAH

So the Snatchers stole Snow-9 from the military? O...kay.

Hmmmm. Maybe I missed something on Jean or something.

DARN IT

I wasn't aware that the preferred method for battling Snatchers was to have a catfight with them. Again, no wonder Neo Kobe has a Snatcher problem.

Metal analyzes the hair, and says... now where did i put that piece of paper note...

Basically, the hair came from a male blood type A european Snatcher with wavy hair. Hmm.

And the skin came from a blood type O negative female european Snatcher. For some reason, I really didn't expect there to be two of them. Huh.

Hey he did, come to think of it.

So investigating Jean AGAIN (I didn't know you'd have to investigate things multiple times for things to show up, oh fun), Metal says he had an ulcer. Probably from having to protect an entire city against snatchers all by himself. But anyway, also says he has something in his stomach that he can analyze to see what he was last eating.

"We can find out where Jean's been!" Gillian says, since that's obviously the important thing here.

"fud"

Metal analyzes the fud and says that the last thing Jean ate was buffalo meat.

Gillian echoed my sentiment at the time, which was wtf where did he get buffalo meat the zoo

And let's take his clothes and paint his face, he's dead, he doesn't care

Or that he wore women's lingerie, same thing.

TAKE KEY

I've noticed one of the things that really weirds me out about how this game works is that when you see something, you don't automatically pick it up, and you have no menu option like "get [blank]", you have to look/investigate it and see if he'll pick it up or something. Given that a rule beaten into my head since I was a young child playing old Sierra games was PICK UP EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING

PICK IT UP NOW

YOU MAY NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE

DO IT NOW

QUICKLY OR YOU'LL DIE

This makes me incredibly nervous. D: I WANT TO PICK THESE THINGS UP IMMEDIATELY WHAT IF I JUMP INTO A CINEMATIC AND MISS SOMETHING AAAAAGH and it really weirds me out that I can't just click a hand on the key or type GET KEY or basically make Gillian get anything I see. Hahahaha I wonder if anyone else gets weirded out by this or if I've just got post-Sierra stress disorder.

PICK IT UP

PICK IT UP NOW

AAAAAAA

Okay, I'll just have to make a note to check everything like five times in the future. That'll be fun.

Or a very strong rat.

THERE'S NO WAY I WON'T BE ATTACKED NOW.

IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN SOON, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT I'VE COMPLETELY SEARCHED HIS BODY

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT GAME

YES THANK YOU as i breathe a sigh of relief

more submenus yaaay

AM I STILL NOT DONE

JESUS

It seems to be telling us to do something... but I just can't think of what it could be.

Where in the future with Old!Snake he will store guns and ammo. I mean.

And then... a noise or something? I forget.

A DUDE!

and there was another person who ran by but I didn't get a cap of them

MOM?!

QUICK LETS FOLLOW THEM INTO THE DEAD END

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BACKFIRE

I'm on to you.

Hmm.

And then Gillian sneezed, but I didn't catch that because it happened kind of quickly. :O

Anyway, after he sneezed, the background music got really soft all of a sudden. HMM.

FRICK

FRICK!

True to form, the sound was really muffled. However, wearing headphones, I was able to listen in pretty close, and I heard something you never really want to hear in a game like this.

A ticking sound.

Hmmmmmm.

Ha! Caught it that time!

Is Gillian allergic to Snatchers, what is this

Yeah, how about that

THEY'RE BEHIND ME NOW, I KNOW IT

FRICK I WAS RIGHT

TIME TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW

OH KOJIMA.

I knew Little John was going to explode or something.

How dare you insinuate differently!

What a darling little key.

EEEEYAH! THE DARPA CHIEF! i mean time bomb

lol

That bomb has messed with the wrong man.

WE'RE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS

SERIOUSLY

WHAT GOOD ARE YOU

RUN RUN RUN

Oh really they give me a warning? Wow, that makes me feel a lot more at ease now. I was expecting sudden pop outs without any kind of warning at all that you'd just have to react quickly to. This is much better! Not so nervous about this now.

I didn't really get a lot of caps of this because I was busy trying to shoot the little buggers (since firefly99 told me that how well you do at the shooting range at HQ determines how difficult these battles are, it may be a good thing that I was distracted my practice session because I was trying to take caps of it) but this actually wasn't that difficult. I've played games that have required a lot more split-second timing, but then again this isn't at the hardest difficulty I think.

The only problem I had was that I'd set up a pretty good rhythm, but when I went over to one Insector, I pressed the fire button but it didn't register (maybe I didn't press it hard enough?) so the insector got off a shot, which threw off my entire pattern. I ended up getting nailed a few times as a I tried to get back on track. Keyboard. >:(

But if this is what the battles in the game are like I'm not worried. Then again, this could just be an early one, maybe it'll get stupid hard later. I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT.

I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HIT IF THE KEYBOARD REGISTERED ME HITTING IT GRRR

I'm sitting directly on the wound.

Don't touch me there it's dirty~

I'm going out for a smoke.

DON'T PATRONIZE ME GAME

I CAN DO THIS

PIPE, WHAT DO I DO

GET PIPE

GET PIPE

GET PIPE

DARN IT

Oh yeah the bomb, should probably get out of the way

hahaha this is awesome, I'll try and capture it for you.

METAL COME ON

METAL: I CAN'T MOVE!

GILLIAN: WHAT

METAL: I'M PARALYZED WITH FEAR! LEAVE WITHOUT ME!

GILLIAN: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU STUPID ROBOT

i am only paraphrasing this a little, i swear to god

HWAAAARGH

gee golly

Gillian mentions that his ears are ringing.

"Well that's what you get for leaving the volume up. :>" Metal responds. Hahahaha oh Kojima I love you.

Glad to see Metal got over his brief panic attack though.

WE GOT TO REPORT THIS TO HQ

And away we go! What will happen next? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!

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