Would I lie to you? :\
Do you want to eat three flans in front of a sunset? We can help.
Ah, bright blue, my favorite color for buildings.
HEY MY LIGHT CAME ON
I forget what Gillian said here, I didn't write it down. Probably OMG THE LIGHTS CAME ON
THEY SURE DID, LITTLE BUDDY!
Prolonging the inevitable, I decide to poke around in every menu.
SOME SECURITY SYSTEM
MAYBE IT SUCKS?
God, what are you, stupid?
SO WHY DO I PAY YOU AGAIN?
As it floats in midair, our magical portal to pedophilia land.
THOSE SNATCHERS ARE TERRIBLY CLEVER
IF I HAVE TO
Yeah whatever it's Katrina okay I'm way ahead of you game
There's this slight hissing sound in the background, which is obviously the shower. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Although Metal does say "I HEAR SOMETHING" in this hilariously conspiratorial voice.
This room is in desperate need of looking. Hopefully Katrina will finish her shower in peace in the meantime.
In your weird, perspective defying room of non-Euclidean angles.
Snatchers are big into Feng Shui.
Funny how before Metal could tell that they were Katrina's, but can't now! Snatcher you're really doing everything in your power to have me jump her in the shower as a "surprise" aren't you.
Snatchers are into petty thievery! Almost as much as they love suntan lotion and killing dogs!
No wait, that's the heat rock for my lizard, never mind.
What, was Katrina wearing heels?
They often wear designer shoes! That or they walk on the tips of metal blades, like all robots.
Oh it does not, Snatcher, stop being coy. I know what you're doing.
So Katrina brought her own shampoo with her when she ran from her house while Snatchers slaughtered her dog? How thoughtful.
NO WAIT MY MISTAKE LET'S TURN AROUND
Are you sure we're not in the Amazon Rainforest by mistake?
gasp. shock and dismay.
WELL GLAD THAT'S SOLVED BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUSLY KATRINA
Desperately trying to postpone the inevitable here.
NO GILLIAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CALL OUT "HEY, WHO'S IN THE SHOWER?"
OR KNOCK ON THE DOOR?
OR WAIT OUTSIDE?
LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?
Oh yeah, there's nothing a robot loves more than a nice hot shower, yeah.
NO GILLIAN YOU PERVERT DON'T DO IT i actually didn't write down what metal said here but oh well
HUH HUH GOTTA INVESTIGATE HUH HUH
God, here it comes.
Gillian says something classy like VAVAVOOM or something, which is what anyone would say when they deliberately jumped a 14 year old girl in the shower, what.
NO KATRINA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE OR KICK HIM IN THE BALLS
AND THEN CALL THE COPS
Wow, that's an incredibly unflattering angle.
Anyway, Metal gets REALLY snippy and angry and says something like "YOU HAD THAT COMING YOU DESERVED IT GILLIAN"
which i would applaud except that makes it sound like Metal was also aware that it was Katrina in the shower and then let Gillian spy on her so he could also spy on her and still take the moral highground about it later. YOU TWO ARE A BAD INFLUENCE ON EACH OTHER
Gillian says something like I DIDN'T SEE YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES EITHER
and Metal says THAT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T
SNATCHER WTF >:(
Apparently the American artists, high on the fact they can use the excuse of "she's 18" like that'll fool anyone, got together and decided the best way to celebrate the fact that Katrina was "legal" was to gratuitously draw her nipples.
THANKS, SNATCHER. I REALLY WANTED TO SEE THAT.
Does she have like a balloon under her scalp, what is this.
Both Gillian and Metal make little "oooooooh" noises when she lets down her hair, just so you know that Metal's interest in her is prurient as well despite being a robot. Remember what I said about taking the high ground?
OH WTF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME LOOK AT THIS THE ENTIRE TIME ARE YOU F--- YOU SNATCHER >:(
In an not pedophilia related note, it plays the weirdest music during this scene. It's kind of sparse and tinkling, it's weird.
OH yeah all the dialogue. Basic jist is that she got scared and ran to his place. Katrina picked the lock on his door, somehow, so Gillian should probably get some new locks.
Yeah, that's it.
GILLIAN STOP IT
AND WHAT'S TWO YEARS, ANYWAY? HA HA HA HA HA! IT'S NOT REALLY STATUTORY RAPE IF SHE WANTS IT!
WTF WHY WOULD GILLIAN BE MAD
ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR RIGHTFULLY SPRAYING HIM THE FACE FOR PEEKING ON YOU IN THE SHOWER
gd it gillian.
Destroy him with your mind, Katrina.
THAT ARE PROBABLY HALF YOUR AGE!
Unlike at her house, Katrina does not throw you out if you keep harrassing her, although by all rights she should have beaten the s--- out of you for being a filthy pervert and gotten properly dressed by this point.
SUCH A NOBLE MAN
IT'S ONLY ILLEGAL IF WE GET CAUGHT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KATRINA STOP IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM AND OH GOD
NO DO IT NOW
YES, PLEASE GET DRESSED. DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, JUST CHANGE THIS PICTURE OF YOU
Well that was cheery.
Nooooooo wrong side aaagh
Written in braille!
Well, I guess you could call it that.
NO IT'S GARBAGE
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
Before doing that, I've GOT to hear this.
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME
Does this mean in the Japanese version she just turned 14? UGH GOD GILLIAN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE
Unless you model CHILDREN'S CLOTHES
GILLIAN YOU PEDOPHILE
Please god scene change do something
Haha me and Funkmeister were chatting about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia like I mentioned in the last entry. :B
OKAY FINE I'LL PUT IN OLEEN I GOT IT
Well dang. I'm out of ideas.
"Just keep thinking about it!"
WELL THANKS THAT'S REAL HELPFUL
I forget, I probably put in Oleens or something here. I REALLY HAD NO IDEA
YES THANK YOU FINALLY
Example of how in the wrong direction I was going - Did you notice that there are different pixels highlighted on the Hospital part of the sign? My theory was that maybe those pixels corresponded to a number (like four white pixels - 4=O), and that number would make a cipher that correspond to the name of the Hospital, or... something like that.
I WAS APPROACHING THIS IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, AS YOU CAN TELL. Sierra games have cursed me with way overthinking puzzles.
THIS ISN'T HELPING
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
SNATCHER I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
KATRINA YOU'RE NOT HELPING
In hopes that if I kept getting it wrong, it'd continue to give me more hints, I began throwing out random combinations.
I WAS VERY PUZZLED BY THIS
YEAH I GOT THAT OKAY THAT DOESN'T HELP
WELL GEE THAT'S GREAT
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
although i'm always amused when characters say this, because you can always make them get it wrong just to spite them. I GOT IT HUH? OH REALLY?
Finally, someone dropped a hint "It was something of Gibson's", which was the missing link that solved the puzzle. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Darn it I totally forgot about that dumb chess piece. Eh whatever.
OH PICKY PICKY, QUEENF HOSPITAL
There are we done now
Woop, the text is highlighted now, I got it right this time obviously.
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME, KATRINA
Look i get the concept okay you don't need to explain it like fifty times
Although this IS Kojima we're talking about, so.
THAT THING YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT, YEAH!
According to my notes, I'm assuming that Gillian is the one who says the director of the hospital is Chinese and probably a Snatcher or something.
WHATEVER LET'S GO
Actually I think they had to explain ONE MORE TIME the Oleen/Queens puzzle here, I guess just in case some people hadn't grasped the concept.
Oh wait, there's the Chinese guy, never mind.
Katrina, OF ALL THINGS, APOLOGIZES TO GILLIAN FOR SPRAYING HIM IN THE SHOWER
LIKE SOMEHOW SHE WAS IN THE WRONG
She then, horrifyingly enough, says that MAYBE IF YOUR TIMING WAS BETTER, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED
Katrina thankfully says she's going into police custody, away from Gillian's pedoclaws. May we never have to hear Gillian's creepy sexual thoughts about fourteen year old girls ever again.
That unpleasantness out of the way, let's do something else
The sign flickers in and out, as if mocking you if you didn't get the puzzle right away.
Or wait, maybe it isn't, never mind.
AND I KNOW HOSPITAL ARCHITECTURE
You can stop patting yourself on the back for that puzzle anytime, guys.
Metal really cares about illegal parking.
BUT IT'S A SECRET HOSPITAL
Oh I love buildings shaped like pillars, they're so phallic.
As opposed to countless doors all over the walls and ceiling.
Typical neon sign behavior. GET A JOB.
And I was hoping to get some clothes shopping in, darn
Blue is a popular color in the future.
Oh waaaaaah Gillian
FILTHY DISGUSTING POOR PEOPLE, GOD I HATE THEM
You'd be surprised.
Well obviously they don't come in this way, duh.
I HAVE TO TOUCH THESE
Didn't I see this set on Star Trek once?
ALMOST LIKE... THIS IS A HOSPITAL OF SOME KIND...
He plays a few rounds of Virtua Tennis to keep himself relaxed.
So the Snatcher's base is built below ground, I got it.
Well there WILL be at some point, if that bathroom where Freddy tried to kill me is any indication.
Well that was a bust.
Ah, mysterious specimens in tubes, where would scifi be without you?
I'm sorry, what manipulators? What were the Snatchers DOING here?
SNATCHERS DON'T CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT
I don't know why Bioroids would be interested in biology, it just baffles me.
I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT
Well technically you're not alive either Metal being a robot and all but hey splitting hairs
DIFFICULT... BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE?
I was expecting beer!
Oh one of these kind of segments. I HAVE A FEELING YOU'RE GOING TO POP SOMETHING AT ME AT SOME POINT, SNATCHER.
Well that looks interesting.
Kojima do you just have a huge boner for Russia or what
I love that place! Let's go get some drinks later.
Oh yeah foolproof plan nothing can go wrong there
Hey, doesn't this look like that picture of a vase in the Chief's office?
Oh woah I was focusing on that black area but if there's a drawer there heck go ahead and open it.
Inside the drawer are records of patients! Or there would be, except they were all cleared out... like the Snatchers knew we were coming, dun dun duuun. They did, however, leave a scrap behind.
It looks like Chinese, but Metal says he can't read some of the characters. Gillian snips at him a bit all I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD AT CHINESE, to which Metal responds MY STRONGEST AREAS ARE EGG FOO YUNG AND WONTONS and man i'm hungry now
Also Metal you're a robot, you don't eat
Well hey, what do we have here. ENTRANCE TO AN UNDERGROUND PASSAGEWAY, BINGO.
I poked and poked at this desk for ages but it wouldn't move. THIS IS KILLING ME. I KNOW IT CAN MOVE.
I'll have to come back later.
YOU'RE SO HYSTERICAL SOMETIMES, GILLIAN
Copy prevention? If you're that worried about your info, should you really be writing it on a whiteboard?
Alright whatever. Anyway, nothing else in the hospital. LET'S GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!
WELL THERE'S OBVIOUSLY THAT DESK, BUT APPARENTLY GILLIAN'S STRINGBEANY LITTLE ARMS CAN'T MOVE IT
I'd DURR her but I bet a good chunk of Americans right now couldn't tell you where this Cathedral is.
ARGH NO I HATE CALLING NAPOLEON
Chief it's just a picture, it's not really here.
Which... means something!
Oh hey, here's a new option.
Because I'm definitely not qualified.
What, did the Government just be all YOU'RE A JUNKER NOW WELL GET TO IT and Gillian couldn't do anything about it? What, did they put a career chip in him or something?
I NEED ANSWERS
One time, long ago, in Paris...
I thought we'd moved past "theory" on that one a while ago.
DUN DUN DUUUUN
YOU'RE A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON
INFECTED WITH FOXDIE
But all your files are still here with us, and you have an ID, and Jamie works at that hospital, so yeah, I guess you can exist, never mind.
ARGH NO I DON'T WANT TO
Man new options are just popping up all over around here.
What kind of loser ARE you?
OH HO HO I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, KOJIMA
And how to make walking metal tanks, and how to blow them up with ludicrous land mine patterns. Petrovich was kind of weird.
IS THERE A CONNECTION??
And that picture, but eh.
Which you haven't of course! Ha ha ha!
GIBSON WAS THE CLOSEST THING I HAD
THEN HE GOT KILLED
So lost your parents huh? That's rough. Let's talk about me now.
If that's the case, then Gillian's screwed.
OR A PERVERT
do you want to see
Harry did you kill a man or something
Aaand I was running out of room for caps, so here's where I stopped!
Up next: Napoleon! Probably dead!