The Starcon2 Secret Theater

I SAID LEAVE A MESSAGE GDIT >(



Current Zar note: The Secret Theaters are really more like a fanfic done with fake screencaps, a sort of multimedia fanfic if you will. So it's not really a true screencap adventure exactly, but it IS told through screencaps, so this seems like the right classification for it. They're called Secret Theaters because in one of the fancy versions of MGS2, I forget which one, there was a "Secret Theater" that'd let you mess with the cutscenes in the game and replace one character with another to great comedic effect, haha. I did this installment in 2007.




LET'S GO BUG DAX! :D His file started doing the same thing that ZEX's does occasionally, where it would crash when I changed from RGB to Index color. And only for certain frames (as specific examples, 4-42, 4-44, 5-20...). It'd crash, then the next line of dialogue would be fine. I have no idea why it does that, so I just save everything in a RBG PNG file at full size and resize it in a different program.

It's weird that my incredibly old, fragile copy of Photoshop 4.0 will change the files from RGB to Index and resize them without crashing but Photoshop Elements won't. >( Bwarg. At least I know a way around it though.

I wonder what causes it? Very mysterious.

Also some Melnorme in here!

Anyway, the way I see this is that DAX at Cerenkov is time based, as in he's there for a certain amount of time, as opposed to a certain amount of conversations. So you don't HAVE to pester him like this, but you can if you want to. :D Kind of like how you can insult the Mycon repeatedly if you want to, it doesn't hurt.

But anyway, since looking back, ZEX got injured around...June or something, I think DAX will be at Cerenkov for two months, maybe three, to give you enough time to pester him occasionally, see one or two messages, but not too long. I think the timer would start when you first see him and talk to him, and then when the allotted time passes, ZEX would come back. So technically you could only have one conversation with DAX, kind of like how you can only see, say, one greeting and goodbye of ZEX's, if you were trying to avoid him, or how you can only see a few of the Supox's tons of hellos if you don't talk to them very much. It's optional, but it's fun optional. :D That's what I always liked about the original game, so again trying for that sort of thing here.

I'm pretty sure there must be a way for there to be an internal timer, since I know that you have to wait for a while after you reunite Tanaka with the Shofixti females for the Shofixti to be reborn, so I imagine similar code would be in place here to change the dialogue, or something. I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW THE GUTS OF HOW THIS WORKS i'm just theorizing. :B

BUUURN

I just love the Captain being completely oblivious to how annoyed DAX is. :D :D :D HOW'S IT GOING DAX

DAX: I swear to god.

NOT WHEN THERE'S PESTERING TO BE DONE

i have to know tell me all

WHY MUST YOU BE SO TERSE AND DIFFICULT TO TALK TO DAX WHYYYYY

Bukowski just staring at the Captain.

Captain: TRY ME

DAX: ugh god please I just ate

Well that chain went nowhere. NEXT ONE

MY PENETRATING POWERS OF OBSERVATION SEE THROUGH IT ALL

Captain: IS THAT A CHALLENGE

The Captain has that certain charm that allows him to say vastly stupid things and not get punched in the face for it. Mostly.

Captain: :B :B

ZEX: MY PILLOW NEEDS FLUFFING

DAX: |<

OH GOD HE'S DEAD ISN'T HE OH GOD OH GOD

Like I'll take care of your face in a second.

Captain pries ever further

ZEX: asjfhahgahguahg zzzzzz

DAX: ::playing a VUX Gameboy::

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE

As a random serious note here, this got me wondering if VUX have made up barbaric practices for humans to help along their general hatred of their appearance. I mean, why not? They already made up the story about the Insult (well, not the story, but that it's the reason for why they hate us). I wonder if stories of human depravity, cruelty, barbarity are bandied about and exaggerated to ridiculous proportions to help justify their hatred of humans past their appearance, and to help keep that hatred of them high.

I dunno, idle speculation. Don't mind me. :B I don't think that's what DAX is getting at here, it's just a somewhat related tangent, sort of.

OH CAPTAIN, YOU ARE A MASTER OF DIPLOMACY.

You can see the color is different here, since I had to adjust it in a different program. grr argh. ARGH. If I redid the base, anyone out there up for changing it to index color and resizing it to 320x200 for me? I don't know why my computer hates me sometimes. >(

And then this one's normal SURE ALRIGHT

The Captain just tends to be a bit impetuous. It's a shame humanity has him to represent them ::random reference::

maybe it involved a few wine coolers DON'T JUDGE ME

There, then it let me save them without any trouble again. wtf, elements.

And actually ZEX has, Captain! 8D You should pay more attention.

Captain: :< I just want to be friends.

I generally try to avoid the ... standby, but I picture this more as the pause that happens with the Mycon, where after they spout some kind of nonsense, there's this long pause before the dialogue options come up. It's hard to convey that really in screencaps though, so thus, ...

DID THE WORK AND MATCHED EM THIS TIME you'd think the Captain would learn to stop asking.

SO LET'S SAY YOU LEFT THE PLANET THEN IMMEDIATELY WHIPPED RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN, AS I'M SURE ANYONE WOULD DO IN THE GAME AT THIS POINT

Short answer: yes.

With an ASTEROID, MAYBE. >(

Captain just ignores him, heh.

I think that's one of the longest sentences DAX has done so far. :O

IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO DO HIM, I'M JUST CONCERNED. ON A PURELY DIPLOMATIC LEVEL.

frigging color changes jashfaihgahg

HINT HINT Procyon is waaaaay off near the Slylandro, if I remember right. NO WAIT am I thinking of the Chmmr? Frick I am. WELL IT'S FAR AWAY, THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.

As a side note man I love typing in all caps with the VUX font, it's all pretty. :B

Captain in full :B form today!

I picture a very blank stare.

UNLEASH THE FURY

Although I'm sure DAX would enjoy doing that at this point.

YEAH CMON WHY WOULD YOU BE LIKE THAT WHY YOU HATIN

I almost typoed this as "puzzler" while I was doing this and was tempted to keep it that way, but eventually fixed it.

I'M ON TO YOU, DAX.

AND WHIP RIGHT AROUND AGAIN! :D

THIS IS CONSTRUCTIVE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Hee hee hee.

Captain: D:

THIS IS JUST A CLEVER TRICK ISN'T IT

Actually, this is a hint towards a Rainbow World. If you actually go and check it out. 8D I'm lame.

DAX hovers a tentacle over the button that controls the laser. "It'd be so easy" he thinks to himself. "He'd never see it coming."

YOU DO NOT QUELL MY THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

This actually was a throwaway line in one of the other secret theaters I did...which one was it? Aha, this one! I decided to actually incorporate it cause it made me giggle. And also the phrase "loose cannon" always cracks me up. As to why, that's kind of an inside joke between Mom and me but I couldn't resist the temptation of including it here.

HI ALANA

ZEX: WHAT IS THIS, VOMIT SOUP?

FUP: IT'S TOMATO BISQUE. >(

Captain: Your starship is full of PEEEEOPPPLLLLEE

AAAAND WHIP RIGHT AROUND AGAIN WHEEE

The Utwig actually do *sigh* in the game itself so asterisk actions ARE CANON SHH.

And as you may have guessed, that's all DAX will say. So if you keep visiting him at this point, you'll just end up in this conversation until ZEX comes back. WHEE. I thought seven different conversations was enough, although dang it was fun to write.

Now I actually have to write the next part, which I haven't done in a while since I had the scripts for all of these written out like ages ago, but the crashes kept stopping me from doing them. Well that and general laziness. BUT STILL. I've actually caught up with myself. FUN TIMES AHEAD!

Oh yeah, the Melnorme! I almost forgot about that. Woop!

WHO GAVE ME THIS IDEA now i can't remember :B I'M SORRY but it has been a reeeeally long time for this one, I've had it in my text file for ages and just never got around to doing it. WOO.

Next up - ZEX'S RETURN?!?!

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