The Starcon2 Secret Theater

GET A JOB



Current Zar note: The Secret Theaters are really more like a fanfic done with fake screencaps, a sort of multimedia fanfic if you will. So it's not really a true screencap adventure exactly, but it IS told through screencaps, so this seems like the right classification for it. They're called Secret Theaters because in one of the fancy versions of MGS2, I forget which one, there was a "Secret Theater" that'd let you mess with the cutscenes in the game and replace one character with another to great comedic effect, haha. I did this installment in 2007.




LET'S GO PESTER DAX! 8D I'M SURE HE'LL BE HAPPY TO SEE US!

DAX: >(

These three are the default questions that pop up when you visit him here each time. He'll have a set of different responses at first, then eventually he'll say the same thing when you talk to him. You know, like...I dunno, the Thraddash when they're your students and you keep harrassing them. They always have the same default questions, then after a while they give you the same responses. LONG STORY SHORT, THESE TWO ARE DAX'S OKAY WHY CAN I NOT SHUT UP

ALSO WHY DO I CARE THIS MUCH ABOUT THESE

pfff flamboyant

ZEX: IS HE THERE DID HE BRING ME FLOWERS TELL ME HE BROUGHT ME EXOTIC EARTH FLOWERS~

DAX: >(

Captain: Why are you so mean to me :.(

DAX DOESN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF PASSIVE AGGRESSION

WHAT IF HE KNOCKED YOU UP, I'M NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT

That's putting it mildly.

Ominous, DAX. :O

YOU ROGUE, YOU PHILANDERER! Besmirching honest VUX values, why the very nerve, begone with ye, wastral

D:

THE CAPTAIN IS STARTING TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER

DAX: You're both as bright as a plank of wood, is what I'm saying.

THANK YOU DAX

Yeah what happened with that I hope it's not one of those plotlines that gets dropped midseason

Well there you go.

I don't know if anyone would have noticed it if I didn't point it out, but those last two are from the earlier one (you can tell by the date). Basically he always says goodbye the same way, so I got lazy and just didn't do them for this set. :B

So let's say you come visit DAX again! :D

BURN

Captain: YOU DON'T KNOW ME

ZEX: OD My Captain~

DAX: >|

You don't KNOW that.

Captain starts puffing up his scrawny little chest, all offended and filled with testosterone.

DAX: O|

Hee hee, carnal interludes. HE DOES HAVE A POINT THOUGH, CAPTAIN.

Captain: Cause he's my friend. And all.

No, I'm pretty sure ZEX would love to have the Captain in his hospital bed right that minute, but hey who's counting. 8D

Captain puts on his most officious voice!

I hear DAX sying this with a very brusque, snappish tone. YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, HUMAN. >O[

ZEX falls out of bed, DAX just walks out of the room.

See Captain this what happens when you don't think things through all the way.

Captain: NO I CAN'T :<

Captain: I'm picking up a little, maybe it's just me, I dunno

There IS a difference!

ZEX: WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED~

DAX: Stop jumping on the bed. >(

ZEX falls out of bed again, DAX steals his pudding cup and walks out.

Captain: STOP YELLING AT ME

BUUURN

Captain: GOD

THAT'S JUST NOT HOW THE CAPTAIN ROLLS, BABY.

Hmm, I have no idea Captain. This just came out of nowhere and there's no precedent for other VUX being displeased by your relationship with ZEX or anything.

NOT FOR ZEX NOOOOO

You're paranoid, DAX. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG!

DAX: Please god do not elaborate on that.

Yes I am still fascinated by ZEX's military genius status okay what shut up

That's definitely the kind of thing that would come up during a life or death conflict.

"That poor Carousel Beast was never the same."

It wasn't until ZEX had nothing to do then boy howdy did things start getting out of control a bit

Hahahahahaha TRULY, THE FIELD OF ROMANCE IS A DIFFERENT BATTLEGROUND

That's a surprisingly penetrating observation, Captain.

cough longer than you've been alive cough

I remember this one time we got hammered, and then the police were all hey turn down your radio, and ZEX went and threw the mattress out the window, and well long story short but you'd be surprised at what you can do with the right amount of string and explosives well anyway

ZEX comes in, DAX already has a suitcase packed and is all "what took you so long jeez >("

WHY AM I SO IN LOVE WITH RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THIS JASHGFAIHGHADGH

Why this was nothing more than a fluke! A FLUKE I SAY!

DAX: You are not very reassuring. >(

AWKWARD

Aaand back to the normal dialogue chains!

He's on to your clever plan, Captain.

And again I got all lazy about this. :B DAX ALSO just says "No" when you ask him this question this time, so just snagged the ones from the last visit.

LAZINESS AGAIN FOR THE GOODBYE I should stop doing that.

Anyway NEXT UP, MORE PESTERING DAX, AND MORE INSIGHT INTO HIS PERSONALITY AND HISTORY MAYBE or perhaps DAX will just continue to shut down conversations with terse "No."s and the Captain will learn nothing.

AND WHEN WILL ZEX COME BACK??? FIND OUT NEXT TIME MAYBE here's hoping it doesn't take me a million years to make the next batch.

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