The Starcon2 Secret Theater

Just Can't Get Enough



Current Zar note: The Secret Theaters are really more like a fanfic done with fake screencaps, a sort of multimedia fanfic if you will. So it's not really a true screencap adventure exactly, but it IS told through screencaps, so this seems like the right classification for it. They're called Secret Theaters because in one of the fancy versions of MGS2, I forget which one, there was a "Secret Theater" that'd let you mess with the cutscenes in the game and replace one character with another to great comedic effect, haha. I did this installment in 2007.

THERE'S ANOTHER SEX SCENE IN THIS ONE but they're both pretty comfortable with each other by now.




WOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE EH? I have a reason though.

Anyway, been in a kind of ZEX type mood and finally finished these. I swear to god, I had the entire scene written out months ago, and I would have probably had it DONE months ago, but for SOME REASON Photoshop kept crashing.

It's weird. I got about 40 screencaps in, no problem, and then abruptly whenever I tried to change it from an RGB file to an Indexed Color one, Photoshop would crash hard. Like, really hard. I tried a whole bunch of ways to get around this, and it took me ages to find one that almost worked, although I'd have to go back and resize all the images and stuff like that later.

Then, later on once I did them all, I went to go resize some of the files and EVEN THOUGH they were already PNGs and had just ONE layer and weren't a huge size or anything like that, they STILL crashed EVERYtime I tried to change them from RGB to Index. I have no idea why this is. It was only a certain section though, about 68 to 100, and everything else I was able to convert to GIF, then shrink, then convert back to PNG, which was annoying but at least I could do it and keep everything the same size, and keep everything from blurring when shrunk. The reason I convert them to Index is cause if you shrink something from RGB, it blurs, and that makes things look bad for something like this. And I do the text and edits and such in a PSD file that's double the size of a normal screenshot, since that's the only way to make the font look right.

BLAH BLAH BLAH NO ONE CARES. Anyway, I had A LOT of technical difficulties doing this installment. A LOT. So that's why it's so late. I swear.

That's also my excuse for what could be some weird graphical inconsistencies, like changing font border size or something, cause I did chunks of this over long periods of time and they might not entirely match up now. WHAT WAS WITH THIS INSTALLMENT, WTF PHOTOSHOP.

I'm sure you are, ZEX. :D

Heh, this only triggers if you fell for the Umgah prank. I DON'T PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THESE WHAT

HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN'T ALREADY??!?

THEY SURE DO, CAPTAIN. YOUR SHAME IS ENDLESS.

ZEX: O3

Hahahahaha BURN

DOUBLE BURN

You wicked pervert, ZEX.

I'M NOT A XENOPHILE OKAY THERE WERE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES

But you didn't have to trick me in the first place! I CHOSE TO DO IT

in bed

And back to normal conversations. Hahahahaha.

ZEX has, in fact, looked out his window.

<3

No one likes a tattletale, Captain.

Just a kind of mild "huh" response. What do you know.

given they exiled him to Cerenkov in the first place cough

rrgrahrhagh this is one of the ones I couldn't resize without Photoshop crashing on me. ARGH.

Although it is kind of hilariously dramatic to have this one suddenly get huge. Suggest I be PUT TO DEATH BEFORE [lightning crash]

ZEX: *slowly crushing his controls*

How fatalistic. Thanks, ZEX.

I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYONE ELSE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ALIENS, IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL

uh

The Captain just looking exceedingly awkward at this point.

Oh #^#@.

I GUESS HIS COUNTRYMEN DID START WHISPERING ABOUT THEM AFTER ALL

You could put it that way. MURDEROUSLY HATEFUL is another way.

Or maybe the Captain was an idiot and stripped for the Umgah and the video sent the rest of the VUX into hysterics. WHO CAN SAY.

IT WASN'T ME.

Here starts A WHOLE BATCH I could not frigging resize without Photoshop freaking out on me. Screw you, Photoshop Elements 2.0. >(

I like picturing these as a dramatic zoom though lol

THEY DON'T APPRECIATE THE PURE, PURE LOVE BETWEEN A VUX AND A CAROUSEL BEAST.

DAX, if you recall, is ZEX's Sub-commander who is briefly mentioned in his original death scene, and he has a conversation with before he bites the big one. I like the idea of another VUX being around that ZEX can bounce off of, in a way, so you'll be seeing more of him as time goes on. I like picturing him all >| at ZEX and the Captain's relative silliness.

Go on a MURDEROUS RAMPAGE

BLAH BLAH BLAH I CAN'T HELP IT I THINK IT'S INTERESTING WHAT

I am such a ZEX fangirl. Shh.

I am totally making things up here. IT SEEMS REASONABLE ENOUGH TO ME I DUNNO also ZEX could easily be downplaying how blatant he was about his human lust

"IT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN, ACTUALLY, BUT LET'S NOT LET THAT STOP US"

I am slowly filling out the character of DAX. I think he could be interesting, depending on how things go. lol foreshadowing

THERE now I could resize them again without problem. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE OTHER ONES.

The very idea of it!

DON'T DIE ZEX SOB

I stopped at the last shot, then didn't pick up for a while. Hopefully there's no huge differences in how I did them or anything.

Aww, fluff. I'M A SAP

[Insert name here]

Hmmm...maybe the borders are a bit off? FRICK. I'M DONE WITH THIS NOW. I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT TOO LONG AND I AM DONE FOR NOW maybe i will fix it later

Words aren't necessary, baby.

And then bam, sex scene. BUT LET'S EXPLORE OUR OTHER OPTIONS FIRST.

And it'd take you back to the other conversation options. DODGED THE SEX BULLET THERE.

ZEX: OD

HMM? HMM?

ALL THE SEX AND ALL.

"More than I ever thought I would learn."

You know, that silly little thing. Whatever.

Not that ZEX would care THAT much, since I don't think many people harass him. Maybe the Ur-Quan come and bug him sometimes, or he'd have more freedom to leave Cerenkov to look for alien critters if the Ur-Quan weren't all >( at them all the time.

HMM, MAYBE.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

IT WAS BLIND, DUMB LUCK!

AND WE CAN GET MARRIED AND HAVE LOTS OF CRAZY WEIRD BABIES AND OH WHAT CURTAINS SHOULD I PICK OUT

I gotta be free to roam, I NEED MY FREEDOM BABY

"Events like... more sex. Just throwing that out there."

Bam, sex scene. NOT QUITE YET!

MY PRIDE, SHE IS WOUNDED!

Captain: :D why thank you

WE CAN HAVE SEX 24-7 IT'LL BE GREAT

Aaand sex scene again! WE'RE NOT DONE YET

"I'd rather not get violently murdered halfway, after all."

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I FELL ON TOP OF HIM."

"BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOU ABOUT IT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING."

Aaand sex scene. LET'S KEEP GOING FIRST.

You know, in actual GAME news.

HMM, WHAT COULD THAT BE?

Could lead to death and all.

This is totally my ZEX fangirling coming through, but I like the idea of the Ur-Quan asking ZEX what to do at points. He IS the foremost military genius in the entire quadrant, so that's not entirely unreasonable. I think. LOOK LEAVE ME ALONE

Because since practically every other race tells you about the Sa-Matra, why not have ZEX tell you about it too? :D

And just in case you decide to duck out anyway.

ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO.

Captain: D:

HEED THESE WORDS, MIKE.

"Well, some of them do. But most of us think PIK is creepy anyway, so..."

Oh ZEX. <3

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

If you recall from earlier sex scenes. WHEE CONTINUITY

The Captain never knew he had it in him. VUX SEX GOD

Duh.

IT WAS MEANT TO BE THIS WAY

Badum ching

DURRR

Yes, that's what this is!

WEIRD, THAT.

STOP CHOKING HIM ZEX

AAA OH GOD NO ONE PANIC EVERYONE STAY STILL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO ONE PANIC

HIS HEAD TENTACLES, YOU PERVS.

His what?

I wonder how much ZEX can see in the dark. Probably a lot.

JUST A TAD I GUESS

No one's vomiting blood LET'S KEEP GOING!

Well as far as you know, ZEX.

ZEX: I LIKE BONING HUMANS

VUX: JESUS CHRIST SHUT UP

Again, as far as you know ZEX. Going with the whole "victorian england" mindset thing for them here as to why VUX would be weird about that kind of thing.

"I'm not a 'slut' as they put it after all."

Captain: MY SPINE

DUH

LESS TALK, MORE SEXX.

"How DID we get in this, anyway?"

Wheeee

My protection aww.

And DONE!

I really hope any future installments don't give me so much trouble. I don't know what's wrong with my Photoshop or the file or what that made it crash so much when I was doing these. It's really annoying.

Eh, I guess we'll find out later.

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