The Starcon2 Secret Theater

What's that coming over the hill



Current Zar note: The Secret Theaters are really more like a fanfic done with fake screencaps, a sort of multimedia fanfic if you will. So it's not really a true screencap adventure exactly, but it IS told through screencaps, so this seems like the right classification for it. They're called Secret Theaters because in one of the fancy versions of MGS2, I forget which one, there was a "Secret Theater" that'd let you mess with the cutscenes in the game and replace one character with another to great comedic effect, haha. I did this installment in 2008.

There's another sex scene in this one! The Captain is very into it this time, but ZEX is a bit injured and fragile, not that that stops him, haha.




IS IT ZEX?

IS IT ZEX??

UGH this part gave me so much trouble. Not so much the writing of it since that was pretty easy, although I was lazy about that for a while and finished the script and then just didn't do the caps. Photoshop kept doing that crashing thing it does where it won't let me change these from rgb to index for some...bizarre reason, so again some will be off-color since I had to use a different, much older version to change them, and that's infuriating in itself because I still don't know why it does that and I thought maybe my new computer would fix that or something and arrrrgh. But even more annoying is that I set up a new shot of the Ship for the sidebar cause I thought the Captain would at least go do something over time and it'd be a neat minor detail, but then after 85 caps, I accidentally turned that layer off and didn't notice. I think my finger slipped or something, I dunno. SO if I wanted it to be consistent, I had to either redo 85 caps with the old ship, or redo some 200+ with the new one. A LOSE-LOSE SCENARIO, IF YOU WILL.

So I fixed the first 85, which was tedious more than anything else, but more annoyingly it means the ship is the same which is precisely what I was trying to change, and to do it quickly and not lose my mind, I cheated a bit and copy and pasted that side of the screen so the oscilloscope stays in one place (like anyone was paying attention to that?), and for a few of them the whole sidebar is one pixel too high or too low arrrrgh, AND I DO IT ALL SO MY FAKE SCREENCAPS OF GAY NONSENSE CAN BE INTERNALLY CONSISTENT. I CARE WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS.

So last we visited Alpha Cerenkov, DAX told us to do something else! Well, it's been like... a few months, so let's see what he has to say! If you want to see the other ones they're all listed here if you're late to this crazy gay fake screencap party.

THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE DAX :D

About two months, actually! Or in real time...almost ten months. dang. :O

haha yeah about that

I'M SURE YOU DID

arrrrgh WHY THIS ONE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS ONE THAT IT CRASHES WHY ARE YOU SO RANDOM PHOTOSHOP ASIKFOAHGIHAHGAU

anyway

Captain: NOT THAT IT MEANS I'M GAY OR ANYTHING

"VERY often, apparently. Do you need a hobby?"

INJURIES AREN'T REALLY SERIOUS UNLESS YOU'RE DEAD, HAHA!

He was so mean to me I think I'll go over there

I DON'T KNOW WHY, VUX NORMALLY LOVE ME!

it was nothing, really. A flesh wound!

DAX: >(

I got SO CLOSE to running off the screen here with dialogue options. :B I normally try to avoid that, even though they DID have a way to deal with that in the original game that you can see when I met the Yehat. BUT THAT'D BE WORK. I skimmed just under the wire here.

I can't believe I deliberately put subtext into these. God I'm so lame.

Haha like DAX would let him go by himself. DAX KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

Glancing around the deck of his ship, like anyone on the FLAGSHIP WHEEEEEHA doesn't already know you love the aliens, captain.

YOU GUYS AREN'T EXACTLY SUBTLE

Bukowski: SERIOUSLY, THIS IS SO WEIRD. D:

Captain: |D what are you talking about me

NEVER HAS BEEN, REALLY

Not before stabbing a few pictures of the Captain first.

HOW SHOCKINGLY OBSERVANT OF YOU CAPTAIN

i never considered that possibility oh well let's call the whole thing off

DAX: you're all too STUPID to live >(

ONE TIME THING, WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. THEY GOT LUCKY.

of course why would it

Captain: D:?

It will probably involve this face --> >(

ZEX gets a bit commanding, omg :O

I JUST DON'T THINK MY HEART COULD TAKE IT

I put a twist-tie on my door. O3

Well I hope so I don't think DAX could take more pestering

ZEX says very reluctantly.

with some SMOOTH KARATE ACTION

I DON'T REALLY NEED TO BE RESCUED. I'M FINE. |<

yeah i hope that works out haha sorry about that

DAX: STOP BANGING THE HUMAN. >(

Here's where I realized I accidentally turned off that one layer after I finished all the other caps. Argh. ARGH. On the other hand, from now on the side bar will stay in place and the oscilloscope will move like it's supposed to. LIKE THAT'S WHAT REALLY COUNTS.

DAX just glaring off to one side, wondering why everyone is so stupid around here

I'd name the military academy that they went to, but I'm not really sure what to call it, or how it would be named. I mean, individual VUX have three letter names, but would buildings? Towns? Cities? Would it be something like VUK ZIK of XEN, or XENVUK ZIK Academy and ARGH DECISIONS being vague works for now

ZEX strokes his beard thoughtfully. I mean, trunk.

I like the idea of them bickering a lot. I'm lame, I'm afraid.

ZEX: ouch. my pride. O<

I dunno, this cracks me up. I'm easily amused.

DAX: GET BENT.

FIP: But I just want to deliver supplies! O<

DAX: *zap*

Haha yeah, let's go with that!

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE DAX MENTIONED, DID THEY COMBUST? I HOPE NOT.

ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL ZEX REFOCUSES ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT - SCREWING THE CAPTAIN SENSELESS.

Haha the Captain being surprisingly sensitive

HOW ABOUT YOU, AUDIENCE?

wink wink

This, like the other sexual encounters with ZEX, can be opted out of if you really don't want to do them. This one is a bit unique however in that you only have one chance to do it. If you say no and come back, this particular sex scene won't be available, and he'll move on to his next...scene? I'm not sure what to call it. But anyway I thought that'd be kind of a neat... I'm not sure what to call it, option? Detail? Something like that. This happens with Talana too actually in the actual game. If you say certain things, you can skip her sex scene completely if you want. So this is kind of in the spirit of that, if the idea of hurting ZEX unintentionally is too upsetting for you. :B

ZEX: waaaa

I like picturing ZEX sounding really melodramatically upset here.

UNLESS MY GUILT TRIP CONVINCED YOU? HMM? HMM? SEX?

ZEX secretly hopes you'll ask for sex again, but I think if you opt out, you can't ask again cause that'd be kind of mean to keep messing with him like that. THE POWER IS YOURS!

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT

And then it'd go to the sex scene. BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, WE MUST CHECK ALL THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS OF COURSE

And another hint that ZEX gives you, that you're on a timelimit and how much time you roughly have. I thought it'd make sense that he might know this, as opposed to something random like... the Syreen vaults or something. :B

And even ZEX can't stand against that. There might be something related to that later, we'll see.

"You're kind of a dork, after all."

IN BED. WITH ME. OD

Okay NOW it's time for the sex scene. Sex scenes are so much easier to do than normal caps since it's just text and a black background. No text outlines, no animation frames to keep track of. Fun stuff. :B

ADURRRR

STRETCHING THE TALKING-SEX METAPHOR A BIT TOO THIN, ME?

that will hopefully not mutilate me horribly O3

...yes?

REALLY IT'S NOTHING

OW TOO CLOSE

YOU BEAST

I admit, I've been smutting up the dialogue a bit more than would probably be in the game itself. :B WELL YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH HIM...hold on let me count...three? I think three times so far. Not counting this one. IF YOU'RE REALLY INTENT ON HAVING THIS MUCH SEX, I GUESS YOU CAN FUDGE THE RULES A BIT

O/

And now we're a plane! Woosh!

CAPTAIN DOESN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF SLOW DOWN OR WHAT ARE YOU DOING OR YOU'RE AN IDIOT

Aww

this line is technically too long, but the black background makes it easier to get away with things like that. :B

FOUL BLAGGARDS! FIENDISH RAPSCALLIONS!

not counting their spine cough shh

DAX: serves you right. >(

ZEX: Oh DAX. |3

Fun fact - I've done four of these now, and I actually still don't know exactly what they're doing to each other. :B I FIND IT'S MORE FUN TO THINK OF IT IN VAGUE, NONCOMMITAL TERMS and leads to much sillier dialogue

I'm a BIG MAN

"Haha, wouldn't that be hilarious? Well, back to the bottom with you. O3"

Captain: BORED I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP HAVING SEX OKAY

I keep trying to picture the Captain being fierce and failing. Haaahaha.

MOST OF THE BLEEDINGS STOPPED AND MY ARMS STILL ON, LET'S ROLL!

BUT WILL THEY? CALL IN AND VOTE!

hurr hurr end hurr hurr

when they got untangled and fetched the bandages

And then it'd pop you out, much like the Talana sex scene. I could have done a comment or something like usual but eh.

The interesting thing about this installment is that it actually kind of wraps up this little plotline. One more conversation, occasional updates about the High Council, but that pretty much deals with the major plotpoints (haha if you could call them that) of this little side...quest? Although this does leave me in an interesting position... if that's the case, what's next?

I think ZEX will be there if you come visit him, and you'll have one more opportunity to have sex with him (if you skipped this one) in his default screen, then he'll settle into a less active role for now. In which case he won't have much new to say unless certain things happen, which would trigger new things (and possible sex) for him. See, the tricky thing is that you only had one sex scene with Talana, and that was it, and you could skip it if you wanted to. But that was okay, cause she was busy and you were busy, and so it goes. Part of what makes them so memorable is that they're so unique, and so far I've tried to make each scene with ZEX fairly different.

The real problem is that while Talana would probably only ask you once since she thought she might die, ZEX would proposition you for sex every time you saw him, of this I really have no doubt. It's what he lives for, after all. 8D And that gets tricky, because you'd start repeating sex scenes or dialogue, and they really should be a bit more... unique than that, you know? or harder to get, in a way? So in that way, I think I'll have to compromise a bit with ZEX and have him be a bit less... voracious, until a new thing happens that would trigger a new scene. Does that make sense?

What I had in mind for a future thing triggering new dialogue was of course, Talana. Something probably after you have sex with her, if you do, maybe before too, I dunno. Probably something after you outfit your ship with the Precursor Bomb too (which will probably be rather bittersweet, as a guess), and maybe a random DAX interlude if you keep pestering enough.

And like I mentioned, if the Kohr-Ah wipe him out, he'll leave you a message too. :<

But apart from that, I can't think of much realistically. D: It's kind of weird to think of this having an end. I NEVER REALLY PLANNED ON ONE but hey I guess it makes sense.

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