Phantasmagoria

Made by Sierra, released in 1995!

Chapter Six



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2005! Before this kind of thing was even known as an LP, haha. I've left the writeup mostly the same since then. Memories...




Went and checked out chapter six. Very short. I suppose the really long cinematics make up for it. LET'S GO.

Hey, this chapter doesn't even start with a real cinematic! That's lame. Also wow it's morning. I really thought it would stay night. Oh well. I guess they'd hafta make it morning again cause otherwise I wouldn't be able to see Malcolm.

hey Don's hair is down. I bet that doesn't mean anything.

Don has a hangover. This will be fun.

Don: uuuuuuh ow

Adrienne, after seeing five ghostly murders, being molested by a bed, being raped, seeing her cat drowned, seeing a talking green face tell her of the ultimate evil in her house, dealing with bizarre sounds and circumstances that obviously hint at some greater paranormal problem, finally asks Don if they can leave. WOW ADRIENNE YOU COULDN'T HAVE ASKED THIS EARLIER OR SOMETHING.

I'm surprised Adrienne isn't afraid to be this close to him. I would be considering what a crazy Don has been.

Don: NO THIS IS OUR HOUSE THIS IS OUR HOME HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO LEAVE

Don stumbles off to answer the door while Adrienne notices Spaz's collar on the couch.

"Son of a $^%#%!" she says, but I'm not sure who it's directed towards. Cyrus? Don? Who knows.

Don: GET OUT

Mike: Just come to fix the phones m'am.

You know maybe this is just me but doesn't Mike look like one of those guys in a porno who'd walk in and be like "I'll fix your phone lady...if by phone you mean the phone between your legs. And by fix you mean sex."

That's the vibe I get from him. I COULD BE CRAZY.

Adrienne stares into the fire wistfully. I think she may have also tossed Spaz's collar in there but I don't know, it was not very clear.

WELL. The opening cinematic was half the chapter. This won't take very long!

Determined not to miss anything like I did in chapter five, I decide to go thoroughly search the house.

There was no weeping down here, but that one cask sure glowed.

Let's check this out.

GUESS WHO'S IN THERE

Is there a hole in that cask there?

Woobly woobly

HI VICTORIA

Hahahahaha.

GASP.

Hey wait, I wasn't done down there!

I really though that something would happen with this press, but all my efforts were for naught. NOTHING. I can't believe it. SOMETHING has to happen with this thing.

I can wind up the piano again! It plays a different song this time.

Time for the Absinthe check whaHEY

Someone has absconded with the Absinthe. HMM.

Eh. Fortune time! The music here was very ominous. The fortune teller knows what's coming.

Naaaaaah.

Chatting with Mike the phone guy.

Adrienne: Sorry that Don is being so mean. He's not himself lately.

Mike: Whatever lady I just don't wanna get involved

Adrienne: It's almost like he's being possessed by some kind of glowing green demon.

Mike: Yeah uh I have to get back to work

Wandering around, there's thingy in the theater! It makes a fwipfwip noise. I decide to go check it out.

A flipcard machine I think someone called it.

In a house like this, I would not stick my eyes into something like this. Not only would it leave my body open, but man something would totally poke me in the eye.

Adrienne leans back with black circles around both her eyes.

So okay this thing was done like a flipcard thing so it was VERY hard to catch the actual text flitting by. I did it once.You're gonna hafta watch the movie to see it all.

THERE caught this one. You know, the noise this thing makes is familiar. Throughout the game in the background I've heard this vague fwipfwipfwip noise while wandering around that I blamed on the soundtrack. Maybe it was this? Nah, I doubt it.

Abruptly the thing switches inta actual audio and I jumped. So did Adrienne. I did not expect that somehow. At least it made it easier to screencap.

Adrienne's patented face!

Blah blah Carno is great blah blah magic blah blah tricks are what a whore does for money blah blah or candy

Carno and his amazing throne of terror! Marie doesn't look good in red.

It can be assumed by Marie's vague poking of this with her screwdriver that she somehow sabotaged the Throne of Terror.

Carno: i see what you did thar

Carno: YOU'RE WITH THAT GASTON GUY I SAW YOU

Marie: WHATEVEEEEER

Gaston: Do I do that thing yet?

Much flapping of arms and showing off occurs.

That is a great :( face.

Gaston: Cause I'm real busy.

Carno: You're a filthy whore Marie.

To which Marie cheerfully responds with "Go to hell."

Baghead!

Carno suspects treachery.

Marie: Hey ladies and gentleman check this out

Apparently Carno bathes in gasoline.

Carno: FLAMES CANNOT HIDE MY RAGE

I question using this highly specialized Throne of Terror for setting one's head on fire instead of the whole cutting-a-head-in-half thing but okay Carno. You're the magician.

Carno jiggles his feet but they do not come loose. You know, I am wondering about this. If Carno's original plan of escape involved him just pulling free of the manacles and jumping up and presumably maybe dunking his head in water or something i would be less than impressed. That'd be more like "wow shoddy manacles" rather than "wow magic." I am not convinced Carno. Your show has not tingled my spine.

I don't even know how this happened. His wrist isn't nearly close enough to have cut himself on that manacle. Maybe his shirt is lined with razors.

Oh there's the blade thing!

Woosh woosh

Gaston and Marie watch from the sidelines in mock horror.

Carno: RARR I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE RARRR

And then RIGHT HERE the video stopped. darn it I wanted to see someone's head get chopped in half. Also how the heck did Carno survive this.

Adrienne's reaction.

Hey the mirrors doin stuff.

Adrienne does not primp for once.

FREDDY KRUEGER wait no

Man Carno how the heck did you live through that. Now I am curious.

Nothing came of the Carno in the mirror, so I went to the barn to see how Harriet and Cyrus were doing.

Adrienne: What's going on here?

Harriet: OH UH...okay we're leaving. This place is messed up. Get out while you can.

Adrienne: What do you mean messed up

Harriet: Well there's this ::coughEVILcough:: and your husband threatened to hang us from the rafters if we didn't leave and we found his offer very compelling.

Adrienne reacts to this news of her husband threatening people's lives with aplomb, as per usual.

Meanwhile let's check out some other mirrors.

All the mirrors in the house are all crazy now. HMM.

Woobly woobly

Hi Carno.

Carno: GRRR

Adrienne: Duuuuh

Oh well that would explain it. Marie and Gaston are going at it something fierce here.

Marie runs off to do...something and Gaston decides to wait for her. Say, does that wall look familiar?

So anyway Adrienne heads out and hears Marie calling out for Gaston somewhere. hahaha. Too late for him.

I was very confused by this angle for a few minutes.

Nope, not down there. Lean further, Adrienne.

poking around further, the ring in the box is missing! I have absolutely no idea why. I don't know who that ring belonged to or what.

Hahaha okay. I come here and all of a sudden I hear this highpictched giggling and Don breaking something in his dark room. I was caught off guard by just how ridiculous he sounded. Sure enough, he continued to thump around in there giggling like a lunatic. The only word to describe the sound he made was a giggle. No, not a cackle. Not a laugh. A giggle.

Picture Don giggling.

I decide to tempt fate. Adrienne asks Don what he's doing and the giggling stops. SHE'S ONTO YOUR HUFFING PHOTO CHEMICAL FUMES DON

Let's check out our favorite painting! Hmm.

Okay, so now it's definitely some kind of demon.

This TV still hasn't done anything! I'm vaguely disappointed.

Hey!

Adrienne immediately blames this on Don. I bet Don was writing those dumb messages too, eh Adrienne?

haha the keyboard came right off

This is like the one point in the whole game where Adrienne is actually really really upset. Like OH GOD WAAAAAAAAAHHHH. PRIORITIES, ADRIENNE.

At first she's like "DON HOW COULD YOU"

Then after she makes some angry screaming noises she's like "NO...HE WOULDN'T DO THIS."

YES SURELY THE MAN WHO RAPED YOU WOULD NOT SMASH YOUR COMPUTER.

So I've had enough dinking around the house and head inta town. I suspect that the cinematic with Malcolm will take the other half of the chapter, so I decide to goof around a bit. Lou has a book of newspaper clippings that she says I might be interestd in. There is one clipping in there.

Lou: So yeah my mom was working on this scrapbook her whole life.

Adrienne: Wow neat can I take it home with me

Lou: UM...NO.

Adrienne: Okay that's cool just asking. I don't know if I have time to look at it now.

Yes. Yes you do.

Flippa flippa. This sequence takes too long.

I'm assuming this was before Carno turned evil. Unless after the show he went backstage and ate some babies or something.

Darn it. Lou is not interested in my doohickey from the attic. What the heck is that thing.

SO let's see Malcolm. The woman is still angry at the fact that Adrienne and I suspect the entire world exists.

Adrienne: SEE MALCOLM'S THERE.

Lady: ::snorting laugh::

Adrienne: NO REALLY. IT HAS HIS NAME ON IT.

Lady: uh huh.

Adrienne: please let me see him.

Will Adrienne get in?! The answer is yes.

WHAT THE

Aw FRICK

It took me a few hours to figure out a way to get Dosbox to read me switching CDs that was really irritating and arrrgh.

I did manage to figure it out tho, so let's get this cinematic out of the way.

Angrylady tells Adrienne to sit down and shut up.

Finally, we see Malcolm! He does not sound so much like a duck here.

I don't think Adrienne sits down at all during this whole thing.

Malcolm I think might have told her to sit down. Who knows.

Malcolm: Yeah I posed for this when I was a young ::struggles with word:: nipper. Carno and Hortencia adopted me when I was all young and stuff. Also Carno was my hero.

Adrienne: BUH

Malcolm: That is until he got this crazy book. Then he went crazy.

Adrienne: Crazy book hey wait a minute.

Malcolm: Yeah, this crazy book held some evil so evil that it didn't even have a name. Or a dimension. Or any way of describing it except as really evil. How Lovecraftian.

I don't know, I would describe it as green smoke myself, but hey. Maybe green smoke is eviller than I gave it credit for.

Malcolm: So yeah Carno got possessed by this evil and I'm pretty sure he killed all his wives for whatever reason.

This brings up the question of why he didn't kill Malcolm. Malcolm never does bring that up. Huh. Maybe Malcolm didn't backtalk him.

Carno: Yeah. Good dog.

Does Malcolm look vaguely familiar to anyone else?

Edit: OH MY GOD someone just looked it up and MALCOLM IS THE SAME PERSON WHO DOES THE VOICE FOR THE SULTAN IN DISNEY'S ALADDIN

NO SERIOUSLY

Adrienne: What happened to Carno when he and Marie died?

Malcolm: Oh that yeah I was there. Let's see.

Malcolm: After he got his face all burned off he was in a coma for two weeks then woke up planning revenge.

Carno reminds me of something here but I'm not sure what.

Malcolm as a boy! In that horrible secret passage.

They must have expanded it later.

Malcolm: So Carno grabbed Gason and tortured him horribly. This will not be shown in my flashback for some reason.

Malcolm: Then it was Marie's turn.

FORESHADOWING? WHY MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

Malcolm handles this with Adrienne-like stoicness.

NO REALLY I BET THIS IS THE ONLY TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN

Theeere we go.

Gaston: HEY I'M NOT REALLY DEAD

Carno: #$^#^@&@$&@&

Carno: Oh! I die, Horatio.

Gaston: HURRAY VICTORY

Oh yeah Marie got her head chopped during all of this, but they didn't show that for some reason.

Evil: Well #%^#, there goes that body.

Malcolm: So Carno somehow got up and dragged himself down to try and get to the chapel.

Malcolm: SO CLOSE...HI GRANDMA.

Carno perishes, along with half of his makeup.

I'm surprised the evil didn't burst out and possess Malcolm but I guess the evil is picky.

Malcolm place the box on the altar

And puts the book on top of it, where some hundred years later some twit will open it and undo his work. He specifically mentioned that he felt like he was containing something.

Adrienne: Woops.

Adrienne: Oh no...Don! What do we do?

Nice work not telling him what you did, Adrienne.

At this point I am sure that Adrienne must know that she unleashed the evil that is now possessing Don and that's why he's acting weird. She reacts to this very calmly.

Anyway, Malcolm explains that there's not a lot that can be done, but Adrienne can maybe send the evil back to whatever dimension. She's gonna need four things.

The book

The Stone of Hammurabi

A holy item

The blood of a sentient being

I'm assuming that that thingy in my inventory is either the stone or the holy item but heck if I know. I hope this does not get very frustrating in the next chapter.

And after the talk with Malcolm, we're almost done! I thought as much.

Yes there are two parts because Malcolm can't shut up.

Back home, Mike has finished with the phones.

Adrienne tests this by picking up the phone, hearing the dialtone, and then hanging it up. The phone makes the most bizarre supposedly-phone-related hanging up sound I have ever heard.

Adrienne: so yeah I wanna apologize again for Don being all crazy. He's not himself lately.

For a few seconds I was like "YOU KNOW WHY" but then i realized that Mike the phone guy probably would not believe that her husband was possessed by Satan and that was why he was a prick.

Mike: Yeah uh...call me if you have any trouble.

Something about the way he says this makes me think Mike is offering Adrienne like...a place to stay or something if Don goes crazy. Like it's more than just about the phones. No really.

Adrienne: yeah whatever bye

Ahaha I remember this death scene. Bye Mike.

Don bursts out of hiding and hits Mike with what I assume to be some kind of axe.

It's actually not very clear at all.

Mike: Down I go. *wump*

Okay this scene might be even the least bit disturbing if it wasn't for the fact that Don is giggling insanely through the whole thing. I mean this is total hysterical giggling. I cracked up. Don just sounds hilarious. Seriously.

Don: TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

WELL. That was pretty short. HMM. We're getting close to the end now folks!

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