Phantasmagoria

Made by Sierra, released in 1995!

Chapters Two, Three, and Four



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2005! Before this kind of thing was even known as an LP, haha. I've left the writeup mostly the same since then. Memories...




You know, the thing about this game is that despite the fact that it spans seven cds, it's really fairly short. At least, the chapters I've been playin through so far are short. Or SEEM short. Mostly I'm assuming to the lack of good compression software at the time.

SO YEAH I went and burned through chapters three and four. These were more interesting than the previous two and true to form, I actually did get fairly creeped out by the end of it. Enough so that when I went downstairs I got spooked by a coat rack. THANK YOU. Then again I'm one of the most easily spooked people ever. You just hafta yell BOO at me and I'll jump.

SO. What's up ahead? Well, there's conversations about THE CRAZY HOUSE for one thing, more of Adrienne mucking about and Don being a psychopath, the first murder, and a rape scene.

Yes, that's right, a rape scene.

No wonder this game was controversial!

SO let's get this show back on the road!

For those who are playing this off of Dosbox (or will eventually or something) I've noticed that it doesn't like switching CDs. The best way to do this without having the game crash is to quit every time you finish a chapter, move your bookmark to the current location, exit the game, exit Dosbox, put in the next cd, restart it all up, and continue. It works, so I can't complain.

That skull is everywhere.

What the what am I doing here. Well, whatever. Time to head back to the barn.

AHA I knew I was missing something! Figures. I need to be more thorough about this kind of thing.

Adrienne investigates the strange campsite.

Adrienne: HMMMMM.

Don: WHATJAKIJGOAHATUA UT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

Adrienne: There are vagrants in the barn

Don: AJIOAJGIAJITA CRAZY I HATE VAGRANTS AND I HATE YOU I'M GOING TO KILL THEM ALL AND BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD

Don kicked some things around to emphasize his crazy anger.

Adrienne, for reasons I don't really understand, doesn't respond to Don's craziness with anything more than confusion and tries to touch Don and play up to him. Don slaps her hands away and tells Adrienne "I DON'T WANT YOU OUT HERE I WANT YOU IN THE HOUSE WHERE I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU" to which Adrienne replies with just kind of staring into the distance. You'd think a girl would get a bit more offended but okay, whatever.

I could do something here but I instead just blanked and stared. GO SELF.

Don wandered off in a huff. I then remembered the point of this chapter (DRAIN CLEANER) and that I probably shoulda given it to him when I had the chance. Oh well. OFF TO THE HOUSE TO FIND HIM I GUESS.

Don: CRAZY

Adrienne: Here's your stupid drain cleaner. What the heck is wrong with you.

Don: Well thanks. I GUESS.

Adrienne: You know, why don't you get out of that darkroom and come downstairs and we can make dinner together and drink some vino. (she said vino i swear)

Don recoils from Adrienne's touch like it's DEADLY POISON

Don: Fine, sounds great.

Don: TELL ME WHEN IT'S READY. GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME PIE. ::slam::

Adrienne responds to this by making several incoherent annoyed noises, which strikes me as underreacting. Anyone I know woulda at least yelled at Don at this point. Whatever Adrienne.

Hey, alright! Let's go!

I went and checked. It DID start in October. Oh well.

I don't know what the heck this weird thing is above their river. A house? A carriage? Some kind of lamp?

Adrienne says that it's a lovely day for a picnic. I am completely shocked that she somehow got Don out of the house without getting decked for it.

Don (was he smoking before?) says something along the lines of this day is complete garbage and it's all Adrienne's fault. He also mocks her about her publisher. BURN.

Spaz yet lives. He'll die eventually, I'm sure of it.

Don yells some more about how Adrienne is such a whore then THROWS A LIT CIGARETTE AT HER. Spaz runs off and Adrienne finally is like WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU DON GOD.

Don: HEY I LIVE BY MY OWN RULES. YOU DON'T OWN ME.

Adrienne: I just don't understand. What happened to you? What happened to the love we used to know? It used to be so good, it used to be so strong.

Don is not crying here, tho it looks like he is. I thought he was. Apparently he gets seized with an abrupt headache and goes into the house for a nap, saying that maybe he does need some rest.

Adrienne puts away the picnic still huffy. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, LADY.

At this point a head poked around a tree nearby and caught Adrienne's attention.

Why, here's a view we never had before!

Yes, let's click the tree.

I am a wood sprite. Tee hee. Tee hee.

Get closer, Adrienne. Closer.

WATCH OUT THERE'S A HICK BEHIND YOU

It turns out that the hick is a harmless idiot. He says his name is Cyrus. HIS NAME IS CYRUS. CYRUS PEOPLE. I can't say for sure if maybe THIS is where I got my Cyrus's name or not. If it is I don't know how to feel about that.

Either way, Cyrus runs off saying that his Ma needs some help. Adrienne, trusting this complete stranger, decides to follow.

Lo and behold, in the barn someone has fallen through the roof. They're both hicks by the accents. Cyrus implores Adrienne to do something.

Oh my god CYRUS'S MOTHER IS A GARDEN GNOME

"I'll get you down" Adrienne says.

My god that HAT'S NOT A MISTAKE

So. There's the pulley.

Nah, I like the pitchfork.

LET'S PITCHFORK GRANDMA EVERYBODY

Oh god her hat STILL LOOKS RIDICULOUS

I thought Adrienne would run Ma through with the pitchfork, but no. She just tried to pull her out with it. No dice though. Darn!

Well, time to pitchfork the pulley.

Theeeere we are.

Ma through this whole process is whining and moaning about how it hurts. Adrienne is less than supportive.

"Watch what you're doing!" Ma shouts as Adrienne nearly steps on her hand.

"Want me to just leave you in there?" Adrienne replies, and Ma shuts up.

Pull, Cyrus!

Once out, Ma proceeds to yell at Cyrus and call him a big lummox. Cyrus responds with silence.

GOD SHE'S A GARDEN GNOME CAN ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS

Ma says her name is Harriet and heads down to presumably beat her son for her own stupidity.

Why hey, a hole! I shall give it a click.

Why hey, a nail with a scrap of cloth on it!

You may ask "Why would you ever need a nail or a bit of cloth?"

The answer is this is a Sierra game, and if you've ever played one that's explanation enough.

Can't pull it loose. Time for my trusty hammer!

Having successfully acquired my nail, I headed down the ladder.

Harriet thanks Adrienne for her help and whacks Cyrus for no real reason that I can remember.

Harriet asks Adrienne if they can stay in return for them doing house and yardwork. They have a point the place is FRIGGING HUGE, and Adrienne agrees to let them stay. I'M SURE DON WILL ALSO BE FINE WITH THIS.

Harriet says that Cyrus is as strong as an ox and that she can do laundry and cleaning and stuff.

Adrienne somewhat cattily responds with "Yeah, I can tell."

Harriet then proclaims her status as a psychic and that she can read Adrienne's palm. Adrienne is rather skeptical but lets her look at it.

WHAT THE

Then the game locked up. GOD ARAJJAFAI. I restarted and then realized I hadn't saved since the start of the chaper. DARN IT. Sierra has gotten me once again. I AGAIN resolve to save more often.

In the process, I realize that just by watching the opening movie, I am this far in the chapter. I THINK THIS ONE MAY BE SHORT.

This time I just skipped the cinematic. While I may never know what Harriet's reading, which would surely be very accurate and specific about evil, I shall live.

So they just chill here.

I asked Harriet some stuff hoping she'd hint at what I had missed, but no dice. Ah well.

I wanted to know what the heck Cyrus was skinning. Turns out it's a rabbit.

So, bored, I head back to town. Maybe that Malcolm guy will talk to me now!

The lady, still incredibly angry, asks what I want. I have a chance here to use an item, but I got nothin. Adrienne says "I thought I had something for Malcolm but I guess not." and wanders off. Aha, a hint! I need to find something of Malcolm's.

Hey, an antique store! Maybe there's something in there.

And it's open!

Here's the shop owner, Lou. She's just your typical old lady type.

PINK PANTSUIT

Lou: OMG YOU WRITE BOOKS CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH

Adrienne: WOAH okay.

At any rate, Lou knows a lot about the house, so I asked her a ton of questions. The conversations were boring visually, so I recorded them instead. Basically, Carno lived in the house and was a crazy magician, was into the black arts, died after fighting with his wife, and had a baby who vanished or something. Carno also had five wives, all of which died or disappeared. Also SPOOKY THINGS happen in the house ever since, and Adrienne and Don are the first two people to live there since Carno did.

What the is that some kind of barbed wire necklace what is that

Chair massage.

I tried to pawn off these tarot cards I've been lugging around but no dice.

Mr. Sleaze had no new info either. Altho as a tidbit, the girls in the back there are from various Leisure Suit Larry games.

IT'S ROBERTA WILLIAMS

Oh hey, I get another fortune!

Pfffff that means nothing.

That's what you do with fortunes like that!

Let's see how much Absinthe is gone this time.

Definitely getting lower, Adrienne remarks.

Back to the crypt. I thought maybe Malcolm would want that crazy book but nope. Adrienne just left it there. FINE.

At this point I remembered HEY I got that rusty nail. Let's finally get this door open.

Turns out I was right about the newspaper thing. I guess Sierra is all picky about exactly what can jostle a key out of a lock.

Bingo.

MORE STAIRS.

Only good things can happen in a place like this.

Also this door is obviously barred for no reason.

WOOSH EVIL.

Well no, not really.

This room is surprisngly light.

Alright, a book!

That said "to malcolm" altho it's washed out here. My ticket to Malcolm city.

This bed also did not molest Adrienne.

I couldn't tell what that was until I got there. More on that later.

AHA I KNEW IT PAINTED ITSELF.

Perhaps some kind of strange bird?

Looks like the ghosts have been at the laptop again.

Can you really have danger, though? Apparently the ghosts must have club-like sausages for fingers.

SO let's get this book to Malcolm.

You never really get a good look at Malcolm. At least, not this time.

Malcolm sounded like a duck talking through a paper cup. He rambled a bit about the house but nothing particularly useful. This was boring visually so I did the recording thing again.

Coming home and CINEMATIC

CLOSER

OH #$#$ IT'S DON

Don: AGJAOJFIOAHJDIUAR WHERE WERE YOU BLAR BLAR BLAR

Adrienne: WTF I just went into TOWN OKAY. GET OVER IT. YOU DON'T OWN ME. What were YOU doing all day!?

Don: I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER YOUR DUMB QUESTIONS NOW STAY IN THE HOUSE AND MAKE ME PIE

Adrienne: WHATEVER ::huffs off::

Don: We'll see about THAT.

Is this ominous? What do you think, audience?

Well hey, there you go! That probably woulda gone faster if I hadn't screwed around a bit, but hey.

I'm not keeping track of the days here. How long has it been since Don got all possessed? Anyone else keeping track?

I knew that my bad feeling about that mirror wasn't unfounded.

So yeah guess where this is going.

Don rubs his hands all over Adrienne who is, understandably considering Don's increasingly CRAZY behavior, is not very receptive.

Adrienne bats his hands away occasionally but Don is not dissuaded!

At one point I swear it looked like he was eating her ear.

Adrienne eventually gives in, which turns out to be a fantastically bad decision.

It starts out okay enough but Don swiftly becomes overcome with CRAZY and the Consumite Furore song starts playing and he starts humping Adrienne like a baboon on speed. This scene made me extremely uncomfortable (despite its silliness) because rape scenes always make me uncomfortable, no matter how badly done. To its credit, it mostly focused on shots of Don looking crazy rather than Adrienne weeping and screaming in pain.

I hate rape scenes.

After Adrienne slumps down weeping, Don gets this look that is very much "Wait, maybe that wasn't a good decision" and runs off.

Later on, Adrienne gets dressed. I have no idea where Don is at this point.

Adrienne handles what happened pretty well, considering. But then again, she's a video game character. She can't exactly go "I don't want to pick that up ::sobs::"

So I save and hey, the opening cinematic wasn't half the chapter! This should be interesting.

The painting looks upset. HMM.

Painting: Get out. >(

Adrienne touches it and looks at her fingers, but doesn't say anything. I'm assuming the paint was wet or something.

Did the toilet always have those weird black cracks in it?

When I saw that thing glowing my first response was "Oh #$%#."

Heh, you know a game's getting to you when it changes from "OH BOY MURDER" to "OH GOD WHAT IS THAT GOING TO BE"

So it's a necklace. Huh.

When Adrienne picks this thing up, VOICES KICK IN.

The voices belong to Zoltan (snerk) and some wife of his arguing about Gaston and where the necklace came from. Zoltan haha was a jealous man. FORESHADOWING.

The necklace then VANISHED. Adrienne seemed personally offended by this. Okay, whatever.

I headed down the stairs and Harriet popped out from behind that pillar and actually did scare me half to death. THAT PILLAR WASN'T THERE BEFORE I SWEAR.

At any rate, Harriet asks what she can do and Adrienne gives her a laundry list. Then Harriet ran away with my newspaper! :( Ah well, if they took it away I don't need it.

I swear to god that pillar wasn't always there.

The fortune teller played this creepier sounding music this time. THINGS TURNING FOR THE WORSE I SUPPOSE.

Yeah cause you know these kind of things are definitely not the kind of thing that you know THE AUTHORITIES MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN OR ANYTHING.

Time for the chapterly Absinthe check! Adrienne remarks that "Don couldn't be drinking this". Okay, Adrienne.

She then cuddled the bottle and I really thought she'd run off with it, but she put it back. I wonder if I ever pick it up for good? I guess we'll find out later.

SPAZ STILL LIVES.

Hehehe, look at that kitty foot.

Harriet works in the kitchen. I clicked her and Adrienne asked about that weird building that she saw from the tower room. Harriet tells her to ask Cyrus. Off to find him then!

Cyrus was occupied outside trying to bash Spaz's head in for...some unknown reason. I guess to eat him? I don't know. Adrienne tells him to leave her cat alone and Cyrus agrees.

Adrienne then asks about the trail and Cyrus says he'll show her the way.

REALISTIC STUMP ACTION

Oh so THAT'S what this screen is for!

Cyrus makes the jump easily. Adrienne hesitates.

I KNEW that tree would eventually get pushed down to make a bridge! I KNEW IT. I just didn't know how it would happen.

Hee.

Cyrus is beside himself at having pushed down the tree.

Adrienne thanks him and Cyrus says that "my ma always says I have more muscles than brains" to which Adrienne responds, "well, she's certainly right." I know he's kind of stupid Adrienne but ouch.

At any rate. What is this, a beach? What?

Hey, a thingy!

Ancient Sumerian coin thingy!

Oh god it's the GREENHOUSE.

The greenhouse death was one of the ones that me, Alex, AND Dad remembered. Probably Chris too. It was one of the ones that Alex remembered VERY clearly. I was rather hesitant to enter the greenhouse just yet, so I decided to doof around with the telescope.

It's stuck in place. Also, I wasn't aware gold was the standard material used for telescopes but okay, whatever.

The thingy turned out to be an eyepiece. What do you know!

I didn't notice anything personally.

"Hey, there's another window there."

Oh wow, you're right. Haha, good eye, Adrienne.

Blech, this place made me feel all freaked out. DARN IT. STOP HAUNTING ME, MEMORIES.

A chill sweeps through the room.

There it is. The spade. I wonder if my vague fear of spades comes from this? Who knows.

CINEMATIC.

Back into the mists of the past.

Hey, a lady!

Oh, this will end well.

I'm pretty sure this is the same chick who was off with Gaston. I don't know for sure tho. Maybe not. WHO KNOWS. NO ONE SAYS ANY NAMES. Except Zoltan. Hahahaha. ZOLTAN. HIS NAME IS REALLY ZOLTAN. FRIGGING ZOLTAN. I can never hear that without thinking of bubblewrap suits and synthesizers and hand zs.

I'm not familiar with gardening. Are spades supposed to be razor sharp? I somehow doubt it. I COULD BE WRONG.

Oh. You'll spend time in your garden alright.

Much like Don, Zoltan hahaha likes to touch people. This lady also did not appreciate it.

Altho I guess if my husband was SMUSHING HIS HAND IN MY FACE FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I wouldn't appreciate it either.

She is not singing into the spade, if you're curious.

"Like gardening, eh? LIKE GARDENING, EH? EH?"

While this scene WAS pretty cheesy, I have to say that the sound effects made me queasy. I have seen A LOT of cheesy horror movies BELIEVE ME. This death isn't incredibly realistic by any means, but the sound effects were enough to make me vaguely sick. POINT FOR PHANTASMAGORIA.

I remembered her getting a spade to the head. Haha. Oh well. My memory isn't the best.

Adrienne books it out of there, which I guess is an understandable reaction to have.

She also cries. I don't know exactly why, for the lady or maybe it brings back memories, who knows.

SO I promptly go right back in.

Hey, this isn't potting soil!

After knocking it over, I make Adrienne investigate further. She does this pretty stoically.

Is that hair? Clothes? What?

You know, wait a minute. Did no one know this lady disappeared? Is this one of Carno's wives that just vanished to be mummified in a pot?

Adrienne leaves this question to the philosophers and moves on.

While headin back to the house, the sound of car comes up. Hey, the phone guy!

Cyrus is doing something back there, but I don't know what.

The phone guy will die. I can tell you that with absolute certainty. Well no. The phone guy OR a car mechanic will die. I remember that death occurring, if not the specifics of it. BUT IT HAPPENS.

Hey phone guy you're gonna die

Phoneguy is a rather nice fellow.

Harriet has vanished! Eh, she's probably wandering around somewhere.

On my way up to check that second window in the attic out, Don burst out of the dark room and again, seriously scared the heck out of me. DARN IT.

Don: RAIFIJARJA R+RHAR RAGE WHAT IS THAT WOMAN DOING IN THE HOUSE ABRAJRIBLAR

Adrienne: She's the new housekeeper

Don: I'LL MURDER YOU WITH MY EYES

Don: GET RID OF HER OR I'LL GO SHOOT THE PRESIDENT ::slam::

Adrienne again makes vaguely annoyed sounds. ADRIENNE FOR GOD'S SAKE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.

That's it guys. If you ever move into a huge "estate" (if you live in a place big enough to be considered an "estate" you're just asking for it) like this with me for whatever reason and I start acting weird, assume I'm possessed and get out. GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

SO let's get this big wood wall out of the way.

Hammer time!

This sequence took approximately eight billion years. I DID NOT NEED TO SEE EVERY NUANCE OF THE WOOD REMOVING ENDEAVOR THANK YOU.

Alright, wall's open. Let's check it out.

Hey, an attic! And more pictures of ladies!

Again, the dramatic stab of music. I'm assuming these are Carno's five wives. Or four of them. Marie must be the last one and the lady in the other portraits around the house.

Hey, a chest! Let's get this sucker open.

I really thought it'd be locked but nope.

Necklace, diary, and a...thingy.

The shot of this baby was cut with the sound of a child's laugher. Carno's daughter and presumably the floating blob above the crib.

Ooo a diary. Also is that the friggin creepiest horse back there or what. Basically, whatever wife this is says that her husband is a big creepy guy and murdered their baby (wha) and she likes gardening. Good thing that turned out.

I'm not even sure what this thing is. It made ominous noises but I mean, what IS it? Is it a guillotine? I have no idea.

Like with The Chair downstairs, it rumbled and made ominous sounds while Adrienne primped in the mirror. I STILL don't know what that thing is.

The thingy!

Downstairs, Don harrasses Phoneguy and accuses him of sleeping with Adrienne. Phoneguy is understandably somewhat confused.

Adrienne catches this and runs up with a shocking "SHUT UP DON"

Phoneguy leaves (as fast as possible I'd imagine) and Adrienne storms off. Don ominously stares at the camera and says "Don't ever tell me to shut up."

Woah that went faster than I thought. There better be lots of murder in the next chapter, by cracky.

SO MULTIMEDIA. It's actually been a million years since I checked which mp3 went to what so I'm just making my BEST GUESSES SO DEAL WITH IT

Lou explains how everyone in the house has weird accidents
Lou talks about Carno's baby
Lou talks about Carno and the black arts
Lou talks about ghosts and wives
Lou talks about who (hasn't) lived there
Malcolm rambles about stuff
Sleazeball realestate guy
Adrienne reading the diary entry about the baby
The ghosts argue over the necklace

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