Legend of Kyrandia: Fables and Fiends

Made by Westwood, released in 1992

Has anyone seen my objectives around here? Anyone?



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2008! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




I always laugh at people who complain that games are too counterintuitive or difficult or frustrating nowadays. YOU DON'T KNOW FRUSTRATING OR OBTUSE UNTIL YOU'VE PLAYED SOME OLD ADVENTURE GAMES as this edition of Kyrandia will make abundantly clear. I swear to God, I don't know how I put up with this back in the day. Oh wait, because there was nothing else. That's right.

Last we checked up on Brandon, a tree had shown him whatfor and he passed out. WHERE IS HE NOW?

Brandon secretly disappointed.

I love Zanthia. She's the main character of the second game and is one of those proud few female protagonists in video games. She's smart, skilled, sassy, and a member of the Royal Mystics, and I love her. Of course, most of that you really see in the second game, so this doesn't give a really clear picture of her just yet. But I've always really liked her, and she's probably a big part of why I love the second game so much.

And as a side note, it's her voice I use for Girl in the Girl and Triangle videos. :D

Tree Incident (and Zanthia's Lab) is just a kind of nice, plucky kind of tune. It feels like Zanthia to me, but that might just be cause I associate it with her. :B Kind of similar to the Darm and Brandywine track in a way.

...thanks for that?

"Cause then I could just skip to when this is all over with. Just sayin."

Yuk yuk yuk

LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Zanthia is not impressed with your mostly accidental progression, Brandon.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING BRANDON

NOT LIKE I CARE OR ANYTHING I'VE GOT ALL THIS LAUNDRY

MAYBE I WILL Brandon shouts, wiping tears from his eyes.

A snappy retort, Brandon thinks as he congratulates himself.

ADUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUNNN

no seriously is anyone surprised

anyone

I'm making potions now what

WHAT POTIONS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Hahaha burn

The smell did not turn Brandon into antimatter here, as this cap may suggest. I'm actually not sure how I got this shot.

GEE BRANDON WHAT DO YOU THINK

Okay, as a bit of an explanation for why I did that. That same frog monster is in the second game, and Zanthia beats it up if you click on it. I STUPIDLY ASSUMED BRANDON WOULD BE CAPABLE OF THE SAME BUT APPARENTLY HE WASN'T

oh gDIT I DIDN'T SAVE. Great now I have to watch that incredibly slowpaced conversation all over again.

Anyway, back on track. Hey, new forest screens! A welcome change. By the way, around this point you will be wanting to make maps of the areas. This will come in real handy. I'm warning you.

In the Shadowlands (Faeriewood) makes this song sound much more sinister than it is in reality. It's just a cheery and upbeat and catchy as the themes for Timbermist and Brandon's home area. I love the music in this game a ton, which is good because if you get lost easily YOU WILL HEAR THIS A LOT.

I think it reprises in the sequel. Hmm. I should check.

MALCOLM :D

I love Malcolm so much.

Malcolm at the Enchanted Fountain has the same basic theme as the other Malcolm appearances. Kind of malevolent, but still sort of silly and jesterish at the same time. I love Malcolm's theme, but I really like Malcolm so you know.

Wait what how is that related to Malcolm's question what

MALCOLM HAS A MEAN LEFT HOOK

I swear, this is so strangely non-antagonistic. It's kind of bizarre.

It was a bit hard to cap this, but Malcolm fried his little toy boat there.

>(

Thanks for your abitrary and meaningless challenge, Malcolm!

MAGIC!!!

EXPERTLY DONE, PLAYED THE BREAK JUST RIGHT

Hey a door.

And that was all Brandon would say. Well thanks for that, Brandon. I know I have to get in there now, but I have no idea why or how. Darn it.

RAAAAAINBOOOOOOOWS

I really shouldn't be engaging in such reckless behavior with stuff like this. You never know when eating something can come to haunt you five screens later. ::cough cough COMPANIONS OF XANTH cough cough::

After a lot of pointless wandering...

Man, now I want a hot dog.

I like picturing Brandon shoving his hand deliberately into the flames.

WELL BE THAT WAY STRANGE MYSTERIOUS BURNING THING

"He says hi, by the way."

There, thank you for telling me.

What did she just SAY, Brandon?

These pauses are in the game. I ADD THEM TO COMPLETE THE EFFECT.

But don't you want a tulip? :( I've been carrying it around for the last FIVE BILLION SCREENS AND STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR

Then I realized that I could use the ice scroll on the fire like a doofus. Good thing I kept it with me.

What is it sitting on?

I don't THINK I'll need this anymore.

...Yeah!

Restoring the Fountain, 12 seconds of amazing!

Magic water, eh? I BET THIS IS DRINKABLE. I'M GOING TO DRINK IT.

Okay that's random.

So what does my suddenly blue gem do, I wonder?

...kay. Apparently it does NOTHING. THANKS.

Just as an aside, thought you might find it interesting.

Brandon: Oh great.

THE POWERS OF A MAN GOD? THE POWERS OF BLEACH?

Did everyone just skip a few lines of dialogue here what the heck WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT

FINE I'LL GO DO YOUR STRANGE UNEXPLAINED DIRECTIVE IN HOPES IT WILL GET ME SOMEWHERE, BE THAT WAY.

Oh picky picky.

So I went and got them and hey where did Zanthia go what

Hey, want to know a fun fact? That rainbow stone is completely useless. It has absolutely no function in the game. ISN'T THAT GREAT? IT SURE LOOKS IMPORTANT, DOESN'T IT? IT'S NOT!

Argh more generic forest that all looks THE SAME ARGH

You will REALLY want to make a map for this area. Seriously. I got lost here really easy, and you need to know where you're going.

Hahahahaha.

Oh haha CLEVERLY REFERENCING IT DOESN'T MAKE IT LESS ANNOYING, BRANDON

I wandered around this area for like an HOUR all WHAT AM I DOING WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING JKASJGHAHGAJGJKKHKAJG

it was very frustrating

Out of curiousity and hopes that maybe I could trigger something, I threw the blueberries in the pot. And it turned kind of blue. Huh. Too bad I have no idea what that means.

WTF WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

I really had nothing at this point, and I thought "Hey, when Brandon did this before it kind of looked like he was holding his hand up! Maybe that'll work this time."

So this was a complete guess, just so you know.

Try WHAT on the chalice? Do you know something I don't, Brandon? MIND TELLING ME?

Okay, so it's some kind of fetch spell. Got it.

Faun stole my chalice!

I see, the Faun lives in the tree.

The Royal Chalice (and the Faun) is just kind of bizarre and creepy for the first part with the Chalice, and then the second part kicks in when you go confront the Faun in her home. It's just kind of goofy weird music. Heheh.

So. This was all Brandon could say, and I couldn't find any way to get through that door. So I wandered the woods some more, finding nothing. And wandered some more, and backtracked to Brandon's house, and backtracked all over trying to find SOME INDICATION of what I was supposed to be doing, and nada.

SO I looked at my map of the labyrinth. Hey, I was missing some squares. Now that I've got my will o wisp spell, I should go check that out. Maybe I will find something THERE that will advance the game.

SCREW YOU, LABYRINTH. ROOMS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET TO WITHOUT THE WILL O WISP SPELL. >(

:O

Again, good thing I kept that scroll with me!

Why hey, a key! This will no doubt fit the Faun's door.

WTF THEN WHAT DOES IT FIT KYRANDIA WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING

So I was frustrated and looked up some maps of the areas to see if there was some room I was missing or something, and...

THIS LOVELY THING WAS HIDDEN IN A DEAD END IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME RANDOM AREA. THANKS FOR THAT. This is again why I advise you to make some maps.

And of course, that doesn't tell me what this thing IS or what it DOES. Apparently flasks fit in it. Okay. Why? What does it do? What am I supposed to fill these flasks with? This is so stupid.

I looked it up at this point, since I was frustrated, and this gets ridiculous.

So, you have to mix up two different potions of different colors. Thanks for telling me to do that Kyrandia, good thing you weren't vague about it or anything. How do you mix these potions? By combining a fruit and a flower in Zanthia's cauldron. Why would you do that? WHO CARES, JUST DO IT. I have here the red and blue potions, made by combining an apple and that exotic red flower and a blueberry and some other random flower, I don't care.

It'd be nice if you told me what, but whatever.

Alright, purple potion. What does it do? ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS TO TEST IT. But I looked it up so I already knew. I forget now though. We'll find out in a second.

Had to backtrack some ridiculous amount to pick up some flower or another. This game is messing with me.

Aha, purple potions shrink you! Why? WHO KNOWS. IT JUST DOES. MAGIC!!

Heh, Faun actually comes back in the sequel. She's always had a smart mouth.

I HOPE YOU BROUGHT AN APPLE WITH YOU IN HERE BEFORE YOU SHRANK BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER SHRINKING POTION AND COME BACK WITH ONE HURRAY!!!!

Faun: Pfff whatever.

SMOOTHLY DONE, KYRANDIA TEAM!

Okay, I don't know why I need this but I obviously need it for something. SO I'M TAKING IT WITH ME.

And after mixing a red and yellow potion together to get orange, WE'RE READY TO GO. ORANGE YOU SAY? YES. Actually as an added side effect, if you make... I think it was a green potion, you get poisoned and die. AWESOME, HUH.

Why drink it here? WHO KNOWS, I'M JUST DOING IT BECAUSE THE FAQ SAID I SHOULD SO HERE WE GO.

As a side note, try to cross the water as a will o wisp and you die. :D

Well hey, there you go.

Pegasus-Brandon's Transformation and Journey is pretty much just as triumphant as you imagine, although it has a nice kind of dancy backbeat to it. Darn it, I love the music for this game way too much.

GOOD RIDDANCE, POTION SECTION

So where will Brandon end up? TUNE IN NEXT TIME.

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