Fallout

Made by Interplay, released in 1997

The day is saved!



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2010! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




OR IS IT???

Dum de dum

WHAT WHY

I WASN'T HANDLING ANY RADIOACTIVE WASTE

lame

Also I should get some water or something at some point.

Well since I'm irradiated maybe this Rad-x will get rid of it. Resistance is to current radiation right? Yeah that sounds about right.

Darn it, it doesn't seem to have worked. WELL WHATEVER

HERE WE ARE AS IN OLDEN TIMES, HAPPY GOLDEN TIMES OF YORE

You can just wait outside then, Ian.

Although tbf this does seem awfully clean and sanitary compared to everything else. Makes sense.

PERHAPS... TOO CLEAN AND SANITARY

Anyway as a reminder sometimes flavor text appears in the bottom left corner, here telling me that for once these computers are actually functioning.

WHAT RUMORS

WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK FINE

I'M IRRADIATED

GIVE ME ANTI-RADIATION PILLS OR SOMETHING

THEY HAVE TO EXIST

Anyway continuing my trip through Vault 13.

I'm glad we had this chat, Lyle.

WHAT ABOUT IF I'M RADIOACTIVE

This is the real miracle.

Everyone seems awfully upset. I can't imagine why.

WHAT SAVAGES

HEY LADY I NEED TO TALK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY

What with the twenty foot scorpions and huge super mutants

not that i'm trying to scare you or anything

Oh hey, free experience. I wonder what would have happened if I'd riled em up? I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW

You too, Generic Vault Dweller.

I feel like this is something I should have done earlier, but I don't think I could have come in here earlier. HOW PECULIAR

He is for the most part correct.

Anyway let's check out the final floor.

WHAT ARE THESE RUMORS

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME

Hey water guard how's it going

This guy seems to be taking it pretty well.

By "go home" do you mean "go down the hallway"? That's not a very long commute I guess.

WELL THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM BUDDY YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN

Oh hey, learning machines.

IMPORTANT SEXY INFORMATION

The underlying message of the entire game, very deep.

Alex told me that this actually invisibly gives you experience/stat increases or something. GOOD THING MY COMPULSIVE CHECKING OF EVERY COMPUTER HAS PAID OFF

MYSTERIOUS

Yes of course, Biff.

YOU'RE A DANGEROUS ROGUE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OUR CONTROLLED PARADIGM, RADIC!!

A LOOSE CANNON!

I wonder if I could have broken in there and stolen stuff? I bet I could have. WELL WE'LL NEVER KNOW NOW

Or I could have just come back and asked for some in a second but I completely forgot to do that. THIS IS A RECURRING THEME WITH THIS GAME AND ME.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU PEOPLE

It must be a devil of a time getting into that big ol chair. Maybe there's a ladder in the back.

Yeah, I'm sure you are.

oh hai sentient sheepdog

HURRAY, GAME OVER!!

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR A HERO

Delicious experience.

People kept telling me to put points into energy weapons for some reason. WHO AM I TO QUESTION THE ADVICE OF PEOPLE WHO'VE ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME

so in the points go

That's right, bathe me in adoration.

I SURE AM

Bored to death, they wander in place eternally, repeating the same phrase over and over in an attempt to enter a meditative state.

Her gratitude fixed her brain!

SHOCKING TWIST!!

JUST SPIT IT OUT SHEEPDOG

how on earth did he get to this conclusion, i saw like... one mutant

maybe two

oh that'll be FUN

Yeah i bet you're real broken up about it, sheepdog. Go curl up in your doggybed.

I SURE HAD A LOT OF INFORMATION THAT I WASN'T AWARE OF

Ooooh nooooo

I considered taking this but then I thought maybe everyone else would need it. In retrospect I probably should have taken at least one.

I've been carrying around first aid kits this whole time like a sucker and Alex told me that they aren't nearly as good as stimpacks and just weigh you down. IN ALL THE GAMES I'VE PLAYED IT'D MAKE SENSE FOR A FIRST AID KIT TO BE A BETTER HEALING ITEM THAN WHATEVER DEFAULT YOU START WITH BUT HEY WHATEVER FALLOUT

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM A FINE ROLE MODEL

And this is why I didn't :/ too hard at that previous comment, haha. IT GOES BOTH WAYS

Oh now you heal me

(he still didn't cure my radiation poisoning though)

I REALLY AM

Anyway one of the most annoying things in this game is that there's no way to tell your teammates to move. Also there's no way to move through them. So a lot of the time, and especially in narrow corridors or around doors, they will stand in front of you and refuse to move, trapping you in place. And you can't tell them to move either, you have to wait for the game to decide to have them move randomly. THANKS, FALLOUT

Anyway let's get a move on

NOT ANYMORE THEY AREN'T

Note to self: find some water

At this point I had no idea what I was supposed to do so I wandered around for a bit.

LIE DOWN

Story of my life, bystander.

Since I have no particular place the game wants me to go, let's go see what this Brotherhood is about. Maybe they can give me some illuminated texts or incense or something.

How pretty!

You guys don't look very religious.

Haven't I seen you in a Pixar movie?

it's a tough job but someone's got to do it

I'M GOING TO CALL THE MANAGER

Maybe this non portraited guy will have something more useful to say.

She said, with a :| face and her hands on her hips.

FOR WEEKS, FOR WEEKS

was the copy editor just asleep at this point or what

YEAH THAT'S WEIRD

eh whatever let's ask this instead

NOT THAT I NEED ONE ANYMORE, I JUST WANT TO KNOW

So I guess I should join these guys or something, idk.

DARN IT WILKINS, GROW A PAIR

SOMEPLACE IN FALLOUT THAT'S RADIOACTIVE WELL I AM SHOCKED

Sure why not, it's not like I have any idea what else I should be doing.

GOOD SIGN

Anyway, I probably need supplies for this or something, so let's go see the Hub.

Aha, this guy has something called Rad-Away! THAT'S what gets rid of radiation! Not Rad-X. This is a problem since I ate all my Rad-X a while back trying to cure myself because I either forgot/didn't know the difference and now I need more, since Rad-Away won't protect you against getting irradiated.

DURRRRRRRR

Eh?

You got any Rad-X buddy

I CAN GET YOU SOME FREE TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW, BABY

NO I WAS TRYING TO FLIRT WITH YOU OH GOD WHY AM I SO BAD WITH THIS

lemmy strides away, unmoved

WELL WHATEVER someone else in the Hub has to have some Rad-X somewhere.

[cue disney song]

THE CONSEQUENCES OF GAMBLING GRAPHICALLY PORTRAYED

I gotta go get a thing for some guys first for some reason! :D

fine you and the door can go make out somewhere see if I care

I AM

SAILOR FALLOUT

I'd rather not have this guy shoot me in the face so

So touchy.

A TRAGIC STORY

Avoid the obviously shady places, got it.

PEOPLE SURE DO CARE A LOT ABOUT WATER

Whatever running with caravans sounds boring, I'm gonna go do a thing instead.

I think I already did this before, but forgot to save so whatever. PEEEEEEEOPLLLLLLLLLLLE

I also promptly forgot about this as well. This guy owes me some money. I should go collect.

More delicious experience for meeee.

Anyway let's see what this Glow place is. Sounds fun.

LOOKS PERFECTLY SAFE

Wow that's a lot of radiation.

HAHA HE DIED OF RADIATION POISONING, WHAT A LOSER

Anyway, after some very quick wandering the first screen of the Glow, I found out that I needed rope to get down further. FFFFFFFFFF

(also bbot lied to me and said i might be able to make it without rad-x, which was totally not true, not that i made it very far into it anyway)

So now I need rope AND Rad-X and i'm not sure where to get either of those things. Well great.

This would be the point where I found it very hard to play this again, by the way. THUS THE HUGE GAP BETWEEN INSTALLMENTS HERE

that's what I'm blaming it on. IN MY DEFENSE it can be hard to get back into a game when you have no idea how to get what you need and there's a huge world you have to canvass to try and find it. See: Wind Waker.

And thus begins my wandering around the map trying to find a place with Rad-X. FUN FUN

Totally randomly, I came across these merchants while walking around. What do you know.

FINE WHATEVER I DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN YOU ANYWAY

Sweet! One item down, totally randomly. At least that's off my mind. Now I just need to find some Rad-X.

Somebody at the Hub's gotta have it, right?

RAD-X???

He didn't have any. >:(

I'LL WORK FOR YOU GUYS WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, GOD

This guy didn't have any either WHAT IS WITH THIS TOWN

I have no idea what Geiger Counters do in terms of the game itself. I asked Alex and he said they were basically worthless, so I took his word on it and just left it.

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

Reading books can really up your skillset. But they eat up a few hours of time. I didn't know this until very recently as nothing in the game told me that. These books are expensive too, dang. I'll have to come back and buy some of these at some point.

I ran into this guy totally by accident. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THIS ALLEYWAY ANYWAY

PUGSLEY NO

THOSE MONSTERS

i shall avenge the donkey's death

Huh, lot of Raiders in here.

you're a bit of a wuss

The only place to shoot.

BAM

BAM

Potential blindness is a perk that I can't get enough of.

YEAH TAKE IT HARD, BIZARRELY POLITE RAIDERS

Oo, armor! Incredibly heavy armor, no less. FRICK. I had to do so much inventory juggling to be able to pick this up.

Lookin good.

Alex told me how to use your teammates as packhorses though. Just give them whatever items you want...

Then use the steal command

And steal it back! They don't seem to care if you steal off them, and I haven't failed at it yet. It does make it a convenient way to carry lots of stuff though, given my packrat tendencies.

anyway THE DONKEY HATH BEEN AVENGED

Yeah all the Evil Ones are gone, uh huh

I mean

This is a pretty sweet pistol here. Gonna hang onto this.

UH BYE?

YEAH HARDCORE

Let's see if Shady Sands is still broken.

ROOOOOCKS

Answer? Yes. I apparently can never go back to Shady Sands ever. OH WELL.

Let's go back to the Hub and see if someone, ANYone has some Rad-X. Or a pillow.

What is this Skag

I'M A PROTAGONIST

MAKE ME

I then found this guy by accident in some building. Oops?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Apparently this is the drugdealer that Lemmy was talking about earlier. Alex told me that there was one in the Hub, but said I'd have to pay Lemmy first. I had already intimidated him away though, so thought that maybe I'd permanently screwed myself out of a meeting with him. HOWEVER, UPON MEETING HIM, HE SEEMED AMIABLE ENOUGH

EVERYTHING WORKED OUT!

give me those delicious pills

I DON'T HURT EVERYBODY

JUST SOME PEOPLE

Speaking of which, while walking around I got jumped randomly by some dudes, intent on whaling on me. I will have none of it sirs.

NONE OF IT

THAT'S RIGHT

anyway let's continue to walk around

excuse me

WHAT ARE YOU, A STEPHEN KING CHARACTER

no fair appealing to my love of disco

boogie boogie boogie

HEY BUDDY WHY THE LONG FACE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Games have conditioned me to automatically give money to beggars. That's an interesting behavior to have burned into your head.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE GREEN AROUND THE GILLS HAHAHAHAHA

That's a pretty vague story there, Harold.

IT TAKES TALENT

I LOVED THAT MAN. RICHARD GREY.

Harold has seen way more mutants than me. Maybe Overseer should have talked to him instead.

FRANCINE JE SUIS MORT!

WILL MARK COME BACK? CALL IN AND VOTE

A DEUS EX MACHINA CRASHED INTO US i mean

I GUESS THE TIMES AREN'T THE ONLY THING ACHANGING EH HAHAHAHAHA

How mysterious.

thanks for not eating me

hi :)

Finally armed with both a rope AND Rad-X, let's go see what's in The Glow! I bet it's candy

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