EarthBound

Made by HAL Laboratories/APE, released in 1995

Threed is Zombiefull



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2007! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




Hey, a toothbrush! I've never bought one of those, but as I understand it you can throw them at your enemy and they freeze for a turn.

I like imagining this guy saying this in the most resigned tone of voice ever.

Oh yeah, I totally forgot! Here's the Zombie Lounge remix from the Bound Together project. Good stuff. Kind of a mellow groovy take on the Threed theme.

WHERE'S MY GARBAGE FOOD

I totally missed this conversation because...I dunno, I was a moron, but basically the Mach Pizza lady was like "I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE DON'T ORDER PIZZAS WELL IT'S JUST MORE FOR ME TO EAT BUT I DIDN'T SAY THAT OKAY MUNCH MUNCH"

uhashuguahgah

Zombies travel in packs, man! It's common knowledge! You never see just one zombie wandering somewhere, there's always like a scout zombie then a bunch come in and swarm the place.

That's a new one. I BET THEY'D TASTE TERRIBLE.

Would you buy zombie insurance? y/n

It's hard to imagine a zombie whispering. Moaning sure. Whispering? Maybe a shy zombie.

Heh, one of Nintendo's old slogans, I think.

These guys were surprisingly tough, but I only fought like two. Rare too, I guess. Or maybe I just wasn't in the right area for em.

HMM

All the circus performers got eaten.

A dog that DOESN'T talk! :O

YOU ALWAYS GOTTA LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

As helpful as a conman can be! Hehehe.

Zombies would never look there!

PFFF

Blackmarket guy!

HMM. WHO COULD THIS BE FOR.

WHO WANTS TO BET I'LL END UP FIGHTING THIS MONSTER?

ANYONE?

I am likewise concerned about your plight.

"Make sure you bring at least 6000 dollars with you! 10000 if you want the best!"

A suspicious woman hanging around the Sunset Hotel, eh?

EMO LEADS TO ZOMBISM.

Aww. I love you too, mouse!

THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBERA.

Nngh! My sunken chest and stringbeany arms!

All is zombie, good night!

That's very rude. Leave now or I'll have to get snippy with you.

pfff skip sandwich

So no going in or out until we clean up Threed then.

WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN BELCH? BLECH!

Hee hee hee hee.

A close relative of the Smilin Sam and no less creepy.

Reeling, with the sweet intoxication of it all

Man a lot of people sure died in Threed

These guys are just annoying. Not really a threat.

THAT TRASH CAN ATTACKED ME

I hate these guys. They've got a lot of HP, good defense, and aren't weak to PSI Freeze, meaning I have to rely on the more costly and to an extent less effective PSI Fire to take them out.

There we go.

Putrid Moldyman is easy compared to the Smelly Ghost, mostly cause they are weak to PSI Freeze and that helps A LOT.

I think it gave off a smell or something here, I can't remember.

ZOMBIES! :O

:O

I DARESAY I SHALL ENTER THIS PLACE

DANDANDANDANDAN DAAAAA DAAAA DAAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HI CAMERAGUY

EVERYBODY ALL TOGETHER NOW!

BYEEEE Paula still has no idea how to react to cameraguy.

I'd say that lady looks suspicious.

And she went into the hotel!

I actually followed her in, but then for some reason my ROM hung at this point, so I had to reload it. I had a save state somewhere around there though so it wasn't too bad, just a bit annoying. But that's why it seems like I kind of go a bit backwards here.

These guys are so easy.

Zombie Possessors aren't that bad, except for one thing...

That's what that ability does if you were curious.

THIS THIS IS ANNOYING

After that, the minighost will stay with you for every battle, either attacking you, or freezing you so you lose your turn. It only does one damage though, so it's not a threat. It's the freezing that's the problem.

Amusingly enough, if you throw up shields, you shield the Tiny Lil Ghost too. And if something does an attack that hits everyone (specific example we'll see later, a Soul Consuming Flame spits out a huge fireball that does like 200 damage to everyone) the Tiny Lil Ghost gets hit too. I have no idea how much HP they have though but that fireball killed it.

If you're not fighting an enemy like that, there's only one way to get rid of a ghost...

In the field that little ghost thing circles you nonstop.

Soften's for Diamondizing and Restore Feeling I think is for when you're paralyzed.

Gah

Yay no more ghost. Let's see what the town leaders have to say.

OR NOT APPARENTLY I WENT TO THE HOTEL FIRST OKAY SURE

I picture a zombie newspaper as just being a bunch of keysmashing.

:O

I don't remember who dropped this but hey what an odd thing to drop.

Alright there she is again. I think I go after her this time. Or maybe not, maybe I go to the tent instead.

Nope, followed her!

Would this kind of change in music make you suspicious?

Follow that chick!

I'M GOING FOR IT

OH HE DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING STEVE

HE SURE DIDN'T, BOB!

There was a WHACK noise here and some stars appeared on screen, but it happened too fast and I didn't get a screencap of it. Woops!

What's her face! You know. That chick. Whatever.

Doesn't look good!

NO THAT WAS MY ONLY PLAN

GOD JEFF I KNOW YOU'RE THERE PICK UP THE PHONE

I was really tempted to just leave off this edition right here just to mess with you guys, but I decided I might as well push it a bit further. SO.

Which has some nice, kind of calm music with sleighbells and such. I like the music in Winters a lot. Heck, I like Winters a lot in general. Which is probably because I love Jeff, but I'm a big dork so don't mind me.

Far to the North...

You knew it'd be called something like that, didn't you?

Hahaha there's tools all over the place in his room. Of course!

MOOOOOM I'M HAVING THOSE WEIRD DREAMS AGAIN

And that's enough for Jeff! He's up and ready to go!

The theme for the Snow Wood Dorms is Snowman, just the cleaner and clearer version of the song you heard bits of in Far to the North. :D

The SnowBound remix of this for the Bound Together project is AMAZING. But I love like everything bLiNd does so

jasuihgauighsa

This is your roommate, Tony. More on him in just a moment.

THE DREAMS, THE DREAMS WANT ME TO GO SOUTH AND RESCUE SOME PEOPLE, I HAVE TO OBEY.

Tony is Jeff's best friend. He's also gay, as the creator revealed in a later interview. Of course, whether or not that makes him gay for Jeff is up to you. FEEL FREE TO INTERPRET IT ANYWAY YOU LIKE. You could certainly make a case for it. There is (or was, you can still find it via the wayback machine) this completely adorable japanese site dedicated to the two of them called Snow Wood Laboratory that has some really nice (and generally clean too, if you're concerned) art (and doujin that I desperately want because earthbound doujin oh my god how rare can you get).

See what you think by the end of the game, and let's move on!

That's an...interesting face, Tony.

Tony: :O

THIS FOOTSTEP, ALTHOUGH POSSIBLY THE WORK OF PRANKSTERS, IS ANOTHER PIECE OF THE PUZZLE.

Who will break every bone in your body I stayed the heck away from them

HMM. WHAT DO YOU THINK, AUDIENCE?

WOO that's a lot of presents.

I of course immediately took all the cookies. Apparently if you do that then talk to him again he gets all mad and is like YOU JERK but I didn't talk to him again for some reason so I missed that. I JUST TOOK THEM ALL, WHO CARES. I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD TONY I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND IF I TAKE ALL YOUR BIRTHDAY COOKIES TO DO IT

Tony: :< well if you really need it jeff then okay

Jeff: I'm just taking it for the sake of taking it.

Heh, Maxwell doesn't care if kids are up and wandering around at all hours.

Dang now I want a donut.

Fun fact - Jeff is the only member of your team with a last name.

You know, wherever he is

You know after he dumped you at the boarding school as a baby then forgot you existed and everything HEY HE'S A BUSY GUY OKAY

Actually, he really isn't. At least, not as strange as some of the people in this game.

WHO CARES ABOUT THE FOURTH WALL PFFFF

You can see the results of my cookie raiding.

Oh actually I might as well explain some things about Jeff. As you can see there Jeff has no PP, and he never will have any. Jeff doesn't have PSI powers like Ness, Paula, or Poo.

However, what he DOES have is the ability to use certain items, and those items are some of the most useful in the entire game. Right there is one of them, which is the Big Bottle Rocket. Bottle rockets are one shot items that do a LOT of damage to enemies. Later on you rely on these as trump cards against bosses, because with them, Jeff can often do way more damage than any of the other characters. Talking like in the 1000's here.

Also this was my mistake before, Jeff doesn't get a shield generator, but he does get a Shield Killer, and he also gets a Neutralizer that takes away PSI effects on enemies (like shields), as well as getting just a ton of useful items and such. So despite the fact that Jeff has no PSI powers, he's invaluable.

Jeff has a pretty good amount of HP, more than poor Paula, but he's still somewhat delicate. Usually if you give him some good armor, Jeff can hold his own. Thing is, he can't heal himself with PSI, and most of his inventory slots are tied up with Heavy Bazookas, Bottle Rockets, his normal equipment, and other gadgets, so he doesn't have a lot of room for food items. So he generally relies on the others to keep him in shape.

And as another note, Jeff can fix things. It depends on his IQ, but if you give him a broken item, sometimes he'll fix it into something else. This can range from the Neutralizer like I mentioned to Jeff's own weapons. But we'll see him fixing things more later. ONWARD!

Hehehehe.

HEY!

Maxwell: lol

Alright! Now if only I could take this to Silent Hill.

IF YOUR DAD WAS SMART YOU MUST BE SMART TOO. IT ONLY MAKES SENSE.

The real secret to repair work.

This is the time for systematic checking!

Hurray!

You know the saddest part about this is that I threw away one of Tony's cookies to pick this up. BWAHAHAHA. I PICKED IT UP FOR NOTHING AND ENDED UP WASTING IT ANYWAY.

There we go!

Time to bust outta here.

THE VOICES, THEY COMMAND ME.

BYE TONY don't worry we'll see him again sometime.

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