EarthBound

Made by HAL Laboratories/APE, released in 1995

The War is Over



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2007! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




THANKS FOR PLAYING YOU WERE GREAT BYE NOW

I knew bringing the fireflies along would be a bad idea.

The Return Home! Neeroooom

WAS THERE ANY DOUBT THEY'D MAKE IT OUT OF THIS OKAY HURRAY PROTAGONISTS

Tiny Poo sitting in a high chair banging his spoon and screaming BYE BYE BYE BYE over and over again.

Sooner than you think, princey.

YAY PRESENTS THIS WILL BE THE BEST GOODBYE EVER

Like a payloud of explosives to a monster's face does damage. I'm glad that one turned out to be true.

Oh god he's going to ask me to marry him

I think Funkmeister illustrated the consequences of this far better than I could put into words!

I WASN'T BORN IN A TEST TUBE STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

NO COME WITH US JEFF D:

I do like Paula but I like being contrary too. DECISIONS DECISIONS.

AND THAT'S WHY I LIKE YOU PAULA

I BUILD THINGS BLINDFOLDED ALL THE TIME, OH IT TRAVELS BACK IN TIME YOU SAY? HAHA WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

I've heard that's one of the only places that close counts.

Also known as "random luck"!

If I was in a video game I'd probably be this kind of npc. HAY GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON AM I LATE WOOPS

THAT'S RIGHT MR. SATURN <3

Now I can finally get a good night's rest. I MEAN, NOTHING.

So he does care about his estranged kid after all! You're all right, Dr. Andonuts.

YOU ALL REMEMBER TONY, JEFF'S LITTLE FRIEND, RIGHT?

I've been stealing things from people this whole game, why not read someone else's mail. Put that final larcenous cherry on the sundae of theivery.

I'LL BE HERE... WHY...? I'LL BE WAITING... HERE... FOR WHAT? I'LL BE WAITING... FOR YOU... SO... IF YOU COME HERE... YOU'LL FIND ME. I PROMISE.

Jeff, secretly a party animal.

IF ONLY I HAD SOMEONE TO TAKE ON THE ARDUOUS TASK OF CLEANING MY GLASSES FOR ME

Tony: furiously gay for Jeff? y/y

LEST ANYONE KNOW OF CLANDESTINE GLASSES CLEANING

I actually have never given the letter to Jeff unread, because everytime I get it I can't help but read it. HURR HURR. Maybe someday.

Jeff shoves the letter in his pocket and pretends it never happened.

Mmm, I could go for some pasta. Darn it, this always happens.

VILLAIN OF MANY SPELLINGS

I wonder if it'd be one of those cases where you'd be like "Well you know, we leveled up and stuff and beat the guy. yeah, that's pretty much it. What's for dinner?"

These kids are on the ball.

<3 <3 <3

I love you so much, Mr. Saturn. You're the best.

:O

Mango told me like a year ago to make sure to check the message for this AND NOW FINALLY WE GET TO SEE IT, YOU SEE THE MESSAGE THAT LONG HAD BEEN INTENDED FOR YOU ALL

A PROUDER SOLDIER THERE NEVER WAS

NO MORE LEVEL GRINDING YAAY

Face it, you'll never see your father, Ness.

OODLES OF CASH AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH

Fighting the embodiment of evil tends to do that to a person, for some reason.

I'MA COMIIIING

Hahahahaha

What kind of lazy pizza chain is this

You know, I don't think I ordered a single pizza over the course of the game. WOO.

GOOD IT WAS FULL OF PRETENTIOUS LOSERS

Maybe I will. MAYBE I WILL.

heee.

As you've probably noticed by now, you can go anywhere and do anything you want now that the game is over, and no one will stop you since there are no enemies anymore. You can zip right back home if you want and just end the game, but I love walking around the world and talking to everybody to see what they say. As you've already seen, people have different messages now that the game is already over. SO YOU'RE GOING TO SEE ME TALK TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT AREN'T YOU EXCITED

I just think this is terribly cool, and so unique for a game. Most of the time when you beat it, it's done. You get the final cinematic and that's it. But EarthBound lets you walk around and really see and experience the changes you brought about for everyone. You can talk to everyone and see what they think about what you've accomplished. Not a lot of games give you freedom at this point. It's neat, I think.

The Eight Sanctuaries are still here, and you can still get to them. However, they no longer restore your HP or anything, or ding or play their song. They're just there. :D

Oh yeah, while you're wandering around, the only song that plays, no matter where you are or what you're doing, is Because I Love You (Love & Peace) which, while very pretty and pleasant, can get old if you wander around for a long time like I did. :B
A gorgeous orchestrated version of this made it onto the Orchestral Game Concert 3.
A very nice, mellow version with a guitar and flute for the Mother 1+2 CD. :D
In Defense of Love from one of the Rock Candy projects is short but sweet.
And Joyful Memories of Love is another little guitar rendition from one of the Rock Candy projects.

Because I'm compulsive, I talked to every single NPC just to see if they said something different. And the best way to go about something like that is to go backwards in an orderly fashion. To the underworld!

Yay! :D You guys are back together again!

PERHAPS

SENTIENCE, PFF, OVERRATED

Oooo, you can do something with this.

MY PLEASURE, TENDA DUDES.

Thanks, that was uplifting.

Oh yeah, random note. Once you drop off Paula, you can ride your bike again. Remember that bike you got way back in Twoson that you could only use for like two seconds before Paula joined your party and you could never use it again? WELL, NOW AT THE END OF THE GAME, YOU CAN RIDE IT AGAIN.

And even more amusing, if you ride your bike in the Deep Darkness (which you can do, although I didn't do it here) it makes a weird noise. The only way you'll ever hear that noise is if you come back here at the end of the game and specifically do it, and there's no reason except just to hear it. It's just a random detail that's easy to overlook. But it's there, if you ride your bike in the swamp it makes chung chung noises instead of ching ching. I love this game.

Do you remember this guy and his weird shy doctor? Keep him in mind.

Dalaam! HI POO

Depends on who you ask, buddy.

Haha, there he is! Poo now mills about in one area like all NPCs. Haha.

BUT I DID MOST OF IT

I WILL zzeeo zeeoow

He's so dreamy.

Let's keep going...

Yeah hey wait wasn't this guy supposed to give me something

Hint guy! Haha I never used you.

I don't think so hintman. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF

I WILL TALK TO EVERYONE

EVERYONE

You and your yellow submarine. I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY (dungeon) FRIENDS

NO THANKS TO NAYSAYERS LIKE YOU

the guy on the phone lied to me! D:

Hehehehe. Oh yeah, fun note. Remember the last time we were in this museum, and there were two Shattered Men on the top floor? They're still here at the end of the game, even though all the other enemies are gone. If you didn't kill them that is. And if you come back here at the end of the game and fight one of them, you WILL get into a battle with it, but then the game will freeze and freak out since you're not supposed to be fighting enemies anymore. :D Fun fact!

Therefore it's in your best interest to kill them when you get to the museum in the first place, unless you want to see the glitch yourself.

No!

How dare you charge me money at the end of the game why the very nerve

Two statements even related? You make the call.

PFFT I'LL JUST SPIN MY WAY OVER THERE IN CIRCLES WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT

Ness and Paula back away slowly.

You know what right now that doesn't sound that bad. I need to go eat something.

HI TONY <3

They'll be able to blow up all kinds of things now! Like cancer!

Put the knife down, Tony.

Uh yeah I'll get right on that cough stalker cough

KYA.

You're her third least favorite child.

Right before SHE LUNGED FOR THE JUGULAR

Not unless you get the scoop, kid! 23-skiddoo!

Did something happen to these guys when I wasn't watching or what

Hahahaha oh haiku guy.

I AM, AREN'T I?

Next up, the towns!

What fascinating NPCs will I pester next? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!

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