EarthBound

Made by HAL Laboratories/APE, released in 1995

Stonehenge's Dirty Secret



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2007! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




And to Winters! Hey, it's Bubble Monkey's chick!

Snow Wood Remix from the Rock Candy CDs.

Artificial Snow, another from the Rock Candy CDs.

I will probably have to speak to him, then!

Oh hey it's Maxwell! YOU REMEMBER ALL THIS, RIGHT?

With the pride of being one of the CHOSEN FOUR

wow, nice screencapping self.

:O! No, not Tony, Jeff's little friend! We'll have to fix this.

Dear Maxwell,

Going to stalk Jeff. Please don't tell anyone. Well, looks like I'm running out of room.

Best wishes, Tony.

Apparently I decided to go do a bunch of other random things first. OKAY, SURE.

Old lady is a shipper.

Oh, another Twoson remix! Twoson (Trance-On Style). RAVE, PAULA, RAVE!

YEAH YOU GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR THAT THEY DON'T BUY IT BEING AN ACCIDENT AS AN EXCUSE

bat to the face

AHA that's why I came here, I wanted to see if anyone would mention Apple Kid's disappearance.

Boiled eggs into raw eggs, deeply valuable work.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE E STANDS FOR, I'VE DECIDED TO REPLACE IT WITH THE MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING "A"

Sure enough, Apple Kid is gone. HMM.

Okay, back to Winters. This is new.

New enemies! To be honest with you guys, Wooly Shamblers kind of creep me out. There's something really...messed up about them. Just their...weird gun face and the wool just unsettles me somehow.

HAHAHA, YOU PUSSES MAKE ME LAUGH

Ah, the old campin dudes. Still campin.

These guys are just more annoying than difficult.

We were going to throw him in the water to attact sharks, and now we don't know what to do!

Why would anyone kidnap someone pleasant? :(

NOT IF I RESCUE HIM

Tessie or the UFO?

UFO then, unless Tessie's been up to no good.

This always makes me crack up. I DUNNO WHY.

DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT SEBASTIAN

Wheeeeeee also I have another Tessie remix now. :D There are a lot of these. BUT IT'S SUCH A CATCHY SONG.

Ice Monster Rock from the Rock Candy CDs. For some reason I got really into this while I was listening to it recently. A little odd, okay.

THANKS FOR THE RIDE, MISTER

so talented

FRIGGING PENCIL STATUES BLOCKING MY WAY RRGH

Well it's not like Brick Road's little mini dungeon is difficult. I'll just go through there.

Screw you, pencil statue.

YOU ARE ALL ANTS TO ME, NOTHING BUT ANTS!

I got lazy and went to the Sanctuary to restore HP and such. Haha.

There we go.

:O

Nothing really interesting here.

BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE

And down we go! The Starman Base has a theme that may sound familiar if you've been following this from the beginning, and downloaded the music from the very first entry about the meteorite. It's kind of chaotic and creepy, which fits because GOD I HATE THIS PLACE. SO MUCH AJSHGIASHGHASGH.

The Stonehenge Base

Alien Invasion, Rock Candy Remix

Every enemy in here is annoying, and the base is LONG. and it takes FOREVER. And even for me, as overleveled as I am, by the end of it I'm usually fairly worn out. There's also another source of frustration in here, but I'll get to that in a second.

Oh yeah, another new remix!

Leveling Up, from the Rock Candy CDs again. :B It's a simple little ditty.

Oooo. Man I could go for some jerky. get off my lap loki you fatty

Starman! I didn't actually fight it here, I can apparently one-shot kill them on their own. Huh. Sadly this doesn't happen very often.

There we go. Remember the Starman Jr from way way back in the first entry? They're still annoying. They have a pretty awesome battle theme though.

Starman Battle!

gaaaahh

Darn it, I thought it'd be something cool.

These guys are interesting. Remember Poo's Mirror Ability, that lets him copy any enemy and use all their moves, although you lose control of him for it? This is the only use I've ever found for it. Mirroring these guys, then waiting for Poo to use the Restore Fuel Supply ability to heal random people in my party for free. Can be useful.

OW

These guys are so annoying

Mmm. lifenoodles.

AHA, HERE WE GO. That gold Starman Super is the bane of my existence.

There's a lot of 1/128 items in Earthbound, meaning that they're items that, when you kill a certain enemy, have a one in a hundred twenty eight chance of dropping. That is RARE, and you can go for HOURS without ever finding one. You can play the game over and over and over and NEVER FIND THEM. It took one guy a YEAR to get them all. A bunch of them are fairly unimportant, a PSI Caramel or Pizza or what have you, but some can be very, very useful. Notably, everyone's final and most powerful weapon and the best armor are all 1/128 items. The most famous of all of these items is the Sword of Kings, the only weapon that Poo can equip in the entire game. It's a 1/128 item, and only the Starman Super drops it.

I have never gotten it, even though I have spent hours and hours trying. SO. FRUSTRATING. Everytime I play through I swear I'm going to get it this time, but I NEVER DO. ARRRRHG.

Further into the base. Getting darker as we go along...

Hmm, what can Jeff turn this into?

STILL TRYING TO GET THE SWORD OF KINGS HERE.

Hey, Exit Mice! How convenient.

This room is in fact, this dark. Occasionally there are flashes of light, but it's VERY hard and annoying to navigate. God I hate this base so much.

BWAAAH

A PSI Butterfly. :O

Annoying. ANNOYING. EVERYTHING IN THIS BASE IS ANNOYING.

The darkness of this room makes getting that present more annoying than it ever should be.

Sometimes I'd let them call for help, in hopes of increasing my chances for a Sword of Kings by increasing the number of Supers in battle. DIDN'T WORK. rrrgh.

STILL LOOKING FOR IT.

Heh, Mango told me to look at the desc for this SO I DID

SOUNDS DELICIOUS

You've probably noticed by now that I've cut all the statgain shots. I'm assuming that you really don't care that much about my character's levels, and it helps speed this along anyway. :B

AUGH

ooohoo.

That sounds good but 98 PP FOR THAT?? When Ness has like, 200 in total? Screw that.

It was around this point that I was getting frustrated, and I also remembered that there's a certain part of the game coming up that I CAN'T be too overleveled for otherwise you kind of miss out, and I decided to just let it go. SOMEDAY, SWORD OF KINGS. SOMEDAY.

But let's finish this base.

OH NO! TUBES! EVERYONE'S BEEN TUBED!

D:

Glad to see you're still focused, Tony.

NOT MR. T! NO!

Thank you Apple Kid, I was about to turn around and go out the way I came.

RANDOM HIPPIE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THE FLYING DISK

ALRIGHT BUDDY, YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG KIDS. WE ARE GOING TO TEAR YOU APART.

jeff and paula stop smooching this is kind of important

This is the second time this has been mentioned, isn't it? The first was the Starman Jr. way back at the beginning. This is never really explained by the way. OH EARTHBOUND.

I remember this guy being a pain in the butt, but I've never really leveled this much before so let's see.

Oh Jeff. <3

IN YOUR FACE STARMAN DELUXE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

now wait a minute that can't be right

OH WELL, WORKS FOR ME.

The End of This Operation!

HURRAY SURELY A TRIUMPH FOR GOOD!

EVERYONE'S FREEE

:D

Oooo.

Your Tessie watching friends will be relieved as well, Sebastian!

the what now oh yeah

That boy you got there looks familiar...my son you say? Haha, how fascinating. You kids run along now.

seven percent chance I CREAMED THE STARMAN DELUXE IN ONE SHOT

sure you did, apple kid.

I COULD HAVE GONE TO THE LIBRARY THIS WHOLE TIME???

AND I NEARLY DROWNED IT WAS AMAZING OH WOW

uh...yeah. you...do that.

Mr. T lives out in the sticks apparently.

Tony just sobbing hysterically and clinging to Jeff like a limpet, Jeff just |< about the whole thing.

DON'T YOU TRY ANYTHING OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CUT YOU i mean how do you do

no more stylish fashion accessory in the world.

Oh yeah, by the way, once the base shuts down there are no enemies inside anymore. Which means that getting back is easy, but also if you didn't get the Sword of Kings now, you'll never get it.

LET ME COME WITH YOU

WOO

And let's go get that book!

KNIVES

Ness: AW SHUCKS

Paula: NESS JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY

I bet Paula would give him an autograph.

Paula: it gets old real fast believe me

TIME PARADOX

HEY, REMEMBER THIS GUY?

HURRAY

Finally.

And to think, the untapped potential of harmonicas has gone overlooked all this time.

Not the biggest increase, but still good!

I'M BUSY

Now let's get those Tendas talkin!

And some other random remixes I've picked up off of Rock Candy 3...
MoonsideedisnooM
The Foursidian
Dusty Dunes Delight
Earthsound (Another Sky Runner Remix. :D)
Hawkeye's Pyramid Scrypt

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