EarthBound

Made by HAL Laboratories/APE, released in 1995

Monkey See, Monkey Do



Current Zar note: I did this LP in 2007! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




Where's Paula? IN THIS EXTRALONG UPDATE, THAT'S WHERE. About 500 this time.

Hey buddy long time no talk sup

Frick, now I want yogurt.

EWW

You cheapskate, Apple Kid.

:O

Just in case you were curious.

hey a monkey

That monkey did indeed just run into that wall.

TO WHAT?

A teleporting monkey. Huh.

hey jeff could you move you're kind of in the way here

D:

WHY YOU...YOU...YOU NON-BRITISH GUY!

Well at least Escargo Express is honest about naming their mailing classes. Neglected is right.

I'M SO POPULAR

Wait a minute, Paula likes trout flavored yogurt? EWW. EWW PAULA.

Yeah I imagine it's not that common.

Nobody else? Alright, let's get going.

Talah Rama moved from where he was blocking the Monkey Cave before, so now we can get inside! And...monkeys!

Frick, I'm going to have to go get one.

YOU MONKEYS AND YOUR WEIRD DIETARY HABITS

A short stop at the drugstore later...

OH GOD YES A WET TOWEL WOAH AWESOME YES

Hey, I actually AM carrying one of those around!

Yuck?

I'm on to you, monkey boy.

:O! Language. :O

Thanks for that.

Any fresh eggs I have would be a chicken by now. YES YES I AGREE

Dang, I think I stored Jeff's Ruler/Protractor.

There's gotta be a ruler around here somewhere.

Hey, a replacement!

Uh, no.

GO BUY YOUR OWN KING BANANA

Well that was straight forward enough. Frick now I want a burger. I should get my macaroni from downstairs.

Ooo, neat. This is exactly the kind if thing I'd compulsively hoard and never use in a game, but I'm going to try and use it to show you guys eventually.

Why i do believe I have you covered...IN WET TOWELS THAT IZZZ!!!11!1

Alright, now we're getting somewhere. By the way, this maze is confusing and almost all the monkeys and passageways look the same, so finding the ruler monkey again actually took me a while.

Oh cool, this is another nice item like the Night Pendant, except it protects you against PSI Fire. Very useful.

QUICK RUN

Hahahahahaha

@#^#&^@$&@&@&#%@!@

Sadly the monkey doesn't sing or anything. That'd be cute though.

Here you go Jeff

Wooo

HURRAY I MADE IT IN TIME

This item is REALLY useful, because it neutralizes any PSI effect on the field, including Offense/Defense Up/Down and any kind of PSI Shield. It also affects your own party, but it's totally invaluable if you're fighting an enemy that has a shield up automatically (cough some starmen cough)

after going ALL THE WAY BACK AND CALLING THE ESCARGO EXPRESS AND HAVING IT DELIVERED AND FINDING MY WAY BACK AND ASHUGHAGHSAHG

Finally.

THERE YOU ARE

Kaaay

It was like...a Brain Food Lunch and something else, I can't remember.

WHO WOULDN'T

These are awesome. Seriously.

So basically I just have to run real fast got it

Ness runs really really fast, goes nowhere while the monkey cackles at him.

"You're doing it wrong! Really pump those arms! hahahaha"

I wish I could run really fast and teleport places.

About two and a half screens worth, if I remember right.

I think I instinctively went to Saturn Valley first even though I had no reason to do it just because I love going there so much. HI MR. SATURNS. WELL...GOTTA GO. I'LL BE BACK SOON.

Hahaha this is what happens if you run into something. POOF.

So why am I here? YOU'LL SEE.

WOAH yousendit suddenly got an overhaul. This'll take some getting used to.

Eternal Frost from one of the Rock Candy CDs is a really beautiful take on the Winters theme. And Snow Wood Lodgings is a cheery version of it!

I was wondering what happened with you two crazy lovebirds.

YOU LIVE IN WINTERS, WHAT DO YOU THINK

THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS, DID YOU? DID YOU? YOU'RE ALL MINE, EXPENSIVE BAT.

Wooooo

HMM

Hey!

I GOT IT!

Jeff: ajsighauisghadhgah

Ness: THE ONE TIME YOU GET A BED YOU DON'T SLEEP IN IT?

Jeff: CHECK THIS OUT IT SHOOTS LASERS!!!11!!

Ooo, nice.

Wow I haven't even really done anything yet, how fickle are they

LIES, LIKE YOU PRINTED ABOUT THAT MOUSE. EVERDRED LIVES! HE WENT HOME TO TWOSON! I KNOW HE DID!

You're going down, monopoly money.

And your friend with the glasses, he's cool, he can go too

Hey a robot!

I DON'T KNOW ANY SECRET CODE

HAHAHAHA, NESS SCOFFS AT YOUR PITIFUL ATTEMPTS

IT'S THAT TROUT YOGURT, IT'LL DO YA.

Whatever buddy I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN

Come oooon Jeeeefff

Oh darn it I forgot they call for help.

STOP IT

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HAVE TO BE JOKING ME

??

OW FRICK

oh no YOU DON'T

Finally, god.

Hmm. Paula could use this...so could Jeff though. I think I'll give it to Paula though.

What a cute little robot.

Aww.

OW OH JESUS CHRIST

GYAH

IASGJIAUHGUIADHGASBFGASGHSDUAHGUHHGAG NO NO NO NO NO NONONONO

WHAT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JEFF WAS THE ONE CARRYING MY LIFENOODLES ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME AJRUIAUGHASDHGAG

TAKE THAT YOU JERK

asjgihasighiah

RARRRGH DIE

!

AHA I KNEW IT WOULD PAY OFF SOMEDAY!

Oh thank god.

If Ness hadn't gotten HOMESICK ALL OF A SUDDEN

Some of that should be Jeff's, but now Jeff gets nothing. :<

WAY TO RUB IT IN, NESS

wtf this is supposed to restore dead people wtf what a rip off

There we go.

Strong in the art of switch flipping

I KNEW YOU'D PAY ME BACK SOMEDAY

Right so it's up to me then

FINALLY PAULA, JESUS

Ha, wuss. Before I go beat you up

I HAD TO KNOW

Just set Monotoli on fire, wtf Paula

Pfff alright, whatever

WHY'D YOU EVEN TAKE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FREAK

Or "Kidnap the girl who can blow you up WITH HER MIND"

Sounds like a plan!

Please no stop I can't take it

So that bear does serve a purpose!

Who are you to talk about my destiny WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT MY DESTINY

Maybe Paula taught him how to play poker or something, I dunno.

Heh, helicopter. Away we go!

what

WHAT?!

I will tear you limb from limb someday Pokey.

Well that's a bust.

wtf monotoli

What could be in Threed? :O

Woo, free ride!

Eeewwww

OH POKEY, WHAT A CHARMER.

So what could be waiting in Threed that'll get us to Summers? CHECK IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT!

Also wow did this make me laugh WAY too hard.

Previous | Next | Index