~TV, Movies, Etc.~

~*Nny Doll*~

So ya say ta yerself "Self, I don't have enough ranting maniacs roaming around my house, ranting semi-coherently about deeply philosphical topics.". WELL SAY THAT NO MORE cause talkin ta yerself is a sign of mental illness. YA CAN OWN A JOHNNY DOLL!
Yes, Johnny is here. That crazy homicidal maniac. In doll form. Run. No, seriously. ANYWAY Nny's hair is done NOT in that weird hair stuff for once. We got it contained in the hold, but I'm not sure if da cage will hold it. If it broke free...! Terror! TERROR BEYOND THE YEAR 5000! Anyway, his hair is made of yarn. Really. Seriously. Honki. Wait, no.
Nny comes with his own plastic knifey. It's still hideously dangerous. I would be careful with him. His boots are all booty and have nice grey buckles. I don't know if they're silver or not. Maybe. Maybe it's that other metal that's like, silver and stuff. Plutonium. RADIOACTIVE SHOES. It'll catch on. Just watch.
Yeah, Nny is one of those dolls that'll try and kill you. But he'll be more random about it. He'll be like "MOOOOOOODswing I love HATE love HATE HATE YOU ALL ::kill:: sad rant". He's funny that way.
His shirt changes designs. Mysteriously. VERY PECULIAAAARRR.
Nny kills stuff. Yup. Other dolls most likely. I'd accommodate fer this.
Don't touch him. He doesn't like being touched. Or like, body fluids or anything like that. So no frenching the doll. That'd be SUCH a bad idea.
If ya opt fer our bunny-hair version, it won't rant or talk so much. But he'll still kill people. Yup. Cause that's what he does. He'll also go all statue on you. Hee he. Ping.
Wow, an El Dorado song. How entirely unappropriate.
Nny is a doll fer da adventurous! Da silly! Da ones with money ta buy ice-freezies and such. Oh yeah, Nny likes da snacks. And stuff. It's like temporal displacement cause no matter when ya go ta da store, it's three in da mornin. Stupid machine.
Nny talks ta stuff. Not necessarily other dolls, cause those are semi-sentient or something I'm not sure, but ta like, other stuff. Weird stuff. Yeah. Watch out. Wall monsters. Oh yeah, I wouldn't leave Nny alone fer long periods of time in weird underground places. The MOOSE MAY COME.
Sometimes he gets abducted by aliens. I think it's on Tuesdays.
Adopt one today!

~*Edgar Doll*~

Okay, who was surprised by this? Anyone? Anyone? Raise yer hand. HA! I KNEW IT! HA no one. I'm so predictable.
Edgar's like, all gangly and soft. Kinda like Wolfwood. Hee hee. He's all thin and stuff. His hair is fuzzy. Fuzzzz. So's his little goatee thingy, but I wouldn't play with that excessively. That'd be all weird and stuff. You facial hair fetishist. What's wrong with you.
Da only thing hard about Edgar is his glasses. They're all like...glassesy and stuff. They can break. I'd watch out fer that.
Edgar's best at getting tied up by Nny and killed somehow. Yes! They can also talk about how much people suck. A good thing about these dolls as that they can be repaired.
Wow. I just got this image of sewing a Edgar doll back tagether while it's all squirming around and talking. NOW THATS CREEPY. WHO WANTS A DOLL NOW, SUCKERS?!
Edgar's like, religious. But not like I AM THE SLAVE OF JESUS religious though. So ya won't find him like, saving poor violated crosses from the clutches of demonic posessession. He'll prolly just be quiet fer a few minutes and stuff at a certain time in da day and most of sunday. He's cool like that.
Edgar gets caught a lot. If yer gettin a Nny, be prepared fer that. I mean, there's not even an explanation! Just POW yer in chains POW yer all restrained and stuff and POW yer dead. POW a lot. Lotsa POWs. DEATH TO THE INSECTS.
Sometimes Edgar can make it out of Nny's death trap dealies and stuff. Not real often. Then he'll get like, scars and stuff. Ya know da story.
Ironically enough, he and Nny get along kinda good when Nny isn't tryin ta kill him. Or even then. Edgar's such a tolerant guy. Too bad he got all torn up like some kinda peace of meat at some place where they do professional meat-tearing. I try ta do that myself, but I can never get quite da right cut. Someday! They rob ya blind there ya know. AND MY COUSIN? She told me that BLAH BLAH BLAH
Edgar has no family and doesn't really make friends, despite his pretty smooth personality. Samooth. Like buttah. WEIRD. It must be artificial butter or something because it never works. I can't believe it's not Edgar. OH GOD GET OUT OF MY HEAD FIC IDEAS THATS TERRIBLE PORN SHUT UP

~*Miguel Doll*~
Da Uke

This could be our destiny, our FATE! Yes, ta own this doll.
Our Miguel doll is made of really really soft stuff. He's such a pushover sometimes. But not that ya could push him over, cause he's kinda weighted down. Keeps him from floatin off in search of El Dorado or somethin. It's a good thing. His hair is made of that hair stuff again, which we've sent samples off ta labs ta examine. WHAT IS THAT STUFF?!
Miguel loves excitement and adventure and everything. Ya should really really get Tulio with him or else he'll just run around all crazy and Miguel all over yer jewelry.
Miguel likes da gold. Loves it. Not as much as say, Tulio, but still. Miguel likes shiny things. He also likes children! He's good with children dolls.
...Yeah, a Tzekel-kan doll prolly would not get along with Miguel. I'd keep em apart.
Miguel's have da puppy eyes. Da big puppy eyes. Ya will do their bidding no matter how outlandishly silly it may be. GO ON A QUEST FER EL DORADO?! LUDICROUS! NOT THE FACE! ARgh and now we're bein fed ta Xibalba. DARN IT.
They can be so clingy and affectionate. Yer gonna have trouble keepin this doll at home. He likes hugs. And pretty lady dollies. Hee hee hee hee.
Miguel likes horsies too. Likes horsies. He can kinda talk ta em as long as it's da language of FOOD. YES! ALTIVO, FETCH!
Miguel also likes armadillos. Tho he may go on some kinda bizarre rant about em or something. And then Tulio shows up and is all like *I'M BEING VAAAAAGUE* And Miguel's like ARGH PUNCH and then they're like kiss and even Bibo's like WHAT DA HECK WAS THAT ABOUT!? He makes a good god. Yes. A silly one. That's da best kind. Even better then da kind that throw those FREAKIN BOAT PEOPLE INTA DA OCEAN! SCREW YER NOTION TA SAIL DA OCEAN! DIE DIE DIE
Adopt one today!

~*Tulio Doll*~

The horse is a surprise. In da fact it doesn't come with this doll. Actually, that's not a surprise at all. WORK WITH ME HERE PEOPLE
Tulio's made of da same soft stuff as Miguel. He just won't admit it. Big softy. His hair's made of that hair stuff too! Ya'd think if I made these dolls I'd know what that was, but APPARENTLY NOT. Ya can learn a lot by sewin with yer eyes closed. Needles can go all da way through yer finger. Thimbles are useless.
Tulio's like bein with Miguel's, but will deny it. Tee hee. They loves da gold. THEY LOVES IT! Tulio's will do anythin fer gold. Yes. Even sail off ta sea with it and save...wait, no. EVen dress up in scanty godly robes fer it. YES there we go.
Tulio's can make volcano's go shwoop fer some reason. I'm not sure how he does that. Magic.
Bibo's drive him nuts. ARGH! Altivo ta a lesser degree.
Tzekel-kan is not a good idea. However, if ya want angsty reunions and such with Miguel and Tulio, I guess ya could get a Chel doll.
Tulio's are all like, serious and stuff. They can stop crazy dolls, such as Miguel and stuff, from crazyin emselves inta a river or something. Terrible! Then Miguel would float away and Tulio would be like ARGH NO and jump in. They'd both sink, but it'd be so beautiful. That'd make a great movie.
Tulio's are all argh and stuff. Most of da time. Sweatdrops are common. Yes. They don't tolerate...well, actually they do. Tulio's will tolerate yer hijinks. Or maybe that's just Miguel's hijinks.
They can think up real cool plans. Just throw em against a wall fer a bit. Yeah! Bonka bonka. We get a boat and ROW BACK TA SPAIN.
Tulio's never have enough gold. Ever.
Adopt one today!

~*Bucky Doll*~

Bucky! BUCKY! BUCKY THE KID! BUCKY! He eats oreos fer breakfast! OREOS! Yes. OWN HIM! You'll be that much closer to being a free woodland spirit MANCHILD!
Bucky is from Box of Moonlight. Cause I think I hafta state that here somewhere cause I'm pretty sure almost no one knows what I'm talking about. Yeah! Bucky has like, deerskin clothes. Yup. And a cooncap. And his hair is dirty yarn. KADIRTY that's cause showering is for the SYSTEM MAN THE SYSTEM!
Bucky is such a happy free spirit. He will simultaeneously drive yer serious angry dolls insane AND make them more happy and stuff. UNSQUARE THEM! Birdy. TRIANGLE! WOOO RIVERCITYRAMMSTEIN YEAH YEAH ::headbangs:: Bucky subsists on a diet of oreos, treebark, and PURE INSANITY. He cannot, however, breathe fire.
Bucky likes to mess with yoo. YES. Like, set up fake deer JUST TA MESS WITH YOO. He's like that.
Bucky goes swimming NUDE! He's as sexy as a plush dolly can get. Yup. But he's so adorably frail and cute. He's such a cute little dolly. SO VULNERABLE SOMETIMES POOR BUCKY ::kahug:: Wait, I should leave that ta Al.
Bucky doesn't trust da government. He'll sever yer power lines. And yer phone lines. And perhaps cut yer house in half. Cause he's Bucky and he does that.
He likes fireworks. KABOOM!
Don't open that box man! You'll let the moonlight out! Cmon man, use yer head.
Bucky likes wrestling. Box. BAKKUSU AFU MUNRAITO. I mean, haku no tsukiakari. I think that's how it's spelled. SHEENERS! ::runs off and pegs her with a Bucky doll::
Adopt one today!

~*Al Doll*~

SQUAAAAAAAARE YER LIFE AWAY! Ya hear me? I'm serious. This doll can turn ya inta a geometric shape. HE CAN! Yes. He is AL FOUNTAIN!
Al's also from Box of Moonlight. Everyone should watch that movie. It's cute. His hair is yarn again. Yup. He wears shiny clean shoes and has clean pressed clothes. He is very square. Very square indeed. He has blocks in his arms. Wait, no.
Al can make things go BACKWARDS. This is cause he is SKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Al is really really uptight. He doesn't like teh silly dollies. No. He does not like them, Al my pal. He does not like them inna box. He does not like them lookin like a fox. Wait, sure he does. HE LIKES BUCKY DOESN'T HE? TEE HAR HAR HEE.
Al has a family and stuff. He's mean ta them. Watch out. He likes da young woodland sprite manchildren though, as featured above.
Life is like a tomato straight off the vine. ::spontaeneously combusts::
Al is weird. His dog died and he's all weird about it. But not as weird as Bucky. Yeah.
Al is OWNED BY DA CLOCK. WEll, sometimes.
Al can hug da Bucky. Al takes care of da Bucky. I'd really suggest gettin both an Al and a Bucky. Or else Bucky will silly himself inta a river or something.
Al is a mousey sometimes. Yup.
I wonder where my tape of this movie went. SHEENERS! ::pegs da Sheena with a Al doll::
Adopt one today!