~Videogames~

~*Mustadio Doll*~
Mustadio. Ya know ya want him.


Ever have problems with yer computer? Unable ta get certain things ta work correctly? Feel as if with yer technological luck, nothin will ever get done?
Get a Mustadio doll taday!
This adorable little doll is jam-packed with mechanical skill! Just leave it near yer broken computer fer a few days and voila! Instant repairs!
Mustadio loves computers and other machinery, so it would be best ta leave it near some kind of machinery when yer gone.
If ya come back and find strange machines that weren't there before, don't be alarmed.
Large explosions are common. However, Mustadio will be well away from the explosion, so be careful.
Mustadio can't stand people being mean ta their parents. Doing so in front of Mustadio may result in yer computer bein mysteriously dismantled.
Mustadio is soft and huggable.
Comes complete with removable plastic wrench (at yer own risk, tho).

~*Elazul Doll*~
He's SO SURLY

Ever wanted ta own a character from da highly underappreciated Legend of Mana? Well NOW YA CAN!
Elazul, da Jumi knight, is now stuffed and available ta own! This surly longer is now made of soft fabric, and can be hugged at yer leisure! His hat is felt, and the only real hard part of his body is his Jumi core! Don't touch it! Seriously, don't.
Elazul can be very protective, but the SELECTIVE kind of protective. He'll usually seek out weaker, female dolls ta protect obsessively with his life. He has a foul mouth and a short temper, and is marvelous with swords. But don't give him one. Seriously. Not even one of those little cocktail swords. We're not responsible fer what happens if ya do.
Elazul Dolls don't like pretentious dolls, or over-enthusiastic dolls. They get along nicely with other quiet, more pensive dolls and don't like being teased at all.
Don't touch the core. Really. We mean it.
Don't mess with his hat.
Don't make fun of him.
Elazul will often randomly leave, for no apparent reason other then it's the most inopportune time. He'll be back, usually ta save yer butt. Don't worry about it.
Adopt one today!

~*Amarant Doll*~
MONKBOY HAR HAR

He hunts fer da living FER a livin, is silent and withdrawn, values power over all else, and has cute little plastic claws! Aww! Yes, ya can own AMARANT from Final Fantasy IX! YES! Da dream has come true.
Our Amarant doll has da flaming red hair that gave him his namesake (Flaming Salamander, Amarant, whatever) and he's clothed in his normal dark green attire! His hands are adorned with lovely little plastic claws that can be hazardous if misused, so treat with caution!
Amarant dolls are loners. Sometimes they wander off. Don't worry about it. They'll be back fer no really good reason.
Amarant dolls are very proud. Don't mock em.
Don't leave Amarant with an Eiko doll.
Amarant dolls get along nicely with Freya dolls.
Amarant and Zidane dolls have a weird, weird relationship! Feel free ta experiment.
Amarant dolls don't like weak dolls. At all. They can also be callous and cruel at times. Don't put him with sensitive dolls.
Adopt one today!

~*Sprite Doll*~
ROCK SLIDE!

How many of us tenderly remember those days playin Secret of Mana, levelin and gettin weapons and practicin magic? How many of us remember how da Sprite saved everyone's butts? I SURE DO!
Sprite is made of extremly fuzzy, fuzzy fabrics. Like a ball of fuzz. Yes. Good fer hugging. Also comes with optional staff (Not shown here)! Sprite's red hair is made of yarn, and da ears (I think they're ears! SHUT UP!) are made of vinyl. Sprite is also smaller then most other dolls.
Sprite loves ta eat. A lot. Don't leave Sprite alone with a buncha food. Or ya'll regret it.
Sprite gets along with Boy dolls. Not so with Girl dolls. Not that I'd ever make a Girl doll, cause we think she sucked, but maybe that's just me and my brother.
Sprite loves magic. Loves it. Will cast it occasionally. Be prepared.
Sprite's LOVE Flammie dolls.
Sprite's love forests. Yer Sprite may disappear at times ta be found in a nearby tree. Don't worry about it.
Do NOT bring a Sprite doll anywhere NEAR A CHICKEN. Or anything that looks remotely LIKE one.
Watch out fer random midgetizing!
This doll will try and scam ya. Repeatedly. Fer money. Be careful.
Sprite also lies a lot. Don't trust everythin it says.
Adopt one today!

~*Kefka Doll*~
UWEE HEE HEE

He's completely, totally insane. AND YA CAN OWN HIM!
Our Kefka doll is soft and pliable, made of different kinds of fabrics ranging from fuzzy to silky! His hair is made of yarn, and his eye markings are died into the fabric of his face. His hair is permanently up in a ponytail, and the feathers in them are not removable.
Kefka dolls are completely insane. We're warning you.
Kefka likes ta set fires. A lot. Often. And in important places. Keep all flammable or combustible objects away.
Don't leave Kefka with a Cyan doll. Or a Locke doll...or a Terra doll...actually, just don't leave Kefka with any other dolls from Final Fantasy III/VI.
Kefka dolls don't like the sand. Especially if it gets on their boots. Ya have been warned.
Kefka dolls laugh. Constantly. And at da most inappropriate times.
Kefka dolls don't get along with other dolls period. Unless they're servin dolls or somethin. They're egotistical, power-hungry, mad raving pyros. GET ONE NOW!
Kefka dolls don't respond ta affection well. They'll prolly set ya on fire or somethin. That's their way, though. That's their way.
Adopt one today!

~*Kuja Doll*~
MANWOMAN!

Is he a man, or a woman? OR BOTH? Da question on everyone's mind when they first saw Kuja is not even remotely solved in this cute, doll form!
Kuja's hair is made of some bizarre material that's shiny but like hair. Rooted hair. I think. Da rest of him is really smooth, silky and stuff, and even his armor is soft. He's really soft. Good fer hugging and stuff.
Kuja dolls are really haughty and vain. They don't do well with other bad tempered dolls.
Don't put a Kuja doll with a Zidane doll, no matter how much it asks. Never put it near a Vivi doll. No, really.
Kuja dolls tend ta ramble on and on and on about how beautiful somethin is and reveal all their grandiose plans ta ya. No matter how ridiculous or implausible they may sound (like alternate planets or soul stealing or other CRAZY stuff like that) they're usually tellin da truth, so be ready ta thwart their plans.
Kuja dolls can sometimes trance. Not often. Which reminds me, don't put Kuja anywhere NEAR a Garland doll.
Kuja likes skimpy, revealin, feminine clothin. And make up. Lots of it. Don't be afraid if ya find him in yer makeup cabinet or somethin.
Kuja dolls react ta stuff in bizarre ways. Like laughing when ya throw it against a wall, or utterly freakin out cause yer eatin toast. Very unpredictable.
If ya can find Kuja's tail, don't pull it or bring it ta his attention. Really. We're not responsible fer what happens if ya do.
Kuja is hard ta understand and changes their minds repeatedly and love ta throw ya curveballs off guard. Be warned.
Kuja's get along well with other maniacal villian tyrant dolls.
Adopt one today! The Doll Shoppe is not responsible for any injuries, emotional trauma of being seperated from the doll for more then a few seconds, or the irresistible urge to make a real one of these results in you impaling your finger on a sewing machine.

~*Irvine Kinneas Doll*~
He's got a purdy face.

That sexy sniper cowboy is here, ta perform feats of physical impossibility and be that special toy we know and love.
Irvine comes with his own hat (which is removable, but I wouldn't recommend it) made of felt, a little plastic sniper rifle (not shown here), his suede coat, boots, and chaps (they're removable, ya perverts) and his weird little purple vesty thingy. He's got his little necklace dealy too, but that's attached ta his chest somehow so ya can't remove it. His hair is tied back inna removable ponytail, and it's made of yarn! HE EVEN HAS LITTLE GLOVES! LITTLE BLACK GLOVES! COME HERE, YOU! ::hugs da merchandise::
Irvine's get along well with Squall's, Zell's, or any other female dolls, especially Edea (NOT THAT WAY PERV). He doesn't normally like over-posessive obsessively controlling types and isn't fond of bizarre, crazy dictators intent on taking over da world. Bad memories ya know.
Don't put Irvine under a lot of pressure. He breaks just like that. Kasnappo.
He is sa-mooth. Soo-ave. Sa-mirk. Lech lech lech. Watch yer female dolls.
Irvine dolls like ta gesture a lot, fiddle with their hats, and vault themselves across desks in a clearly impossible fashion.
Irvine dolls can be everywhere. On top of a dresser, in da kitchen, in da fridge, in yer underwear drawer, in another dolls underwear, ya name it. IRVINE'LL BE THERE! Or could be there if he wanted. DON'T PRESSURE HIM!
Irvine's pretty happy and outgoing. Makes new friends pretty easily, especially among those female dolls. Rawr. Wait, never mind, I rephrase my statement to read "easy to flirt with female dolls", not make new friends.
Love him! LOVE HIM NOW! HE NEEDS IT BY GOD HE NEEDS IT!
Adopt one today!

~*Magus Doll*~
You got wacked 'cus you're weak.

Da black wind blows...one of ya will ADOPT THIS DOLL!
Magus here is a VERY well made doll! We've gone all out here fer everyone's favorite mystic/ancient zeal prince. His hair is made of that same mysterious substance that makes it all like hair but not really. His cloak is silk (BE CAREFUL WITH IT) and his gloves, boots, and tunic are all made of leather. His leggings are silk too (tights ::SNRK::) and he has tiny little pearl earrings. He comes complete with a fully-functional bladed, real steal scythe, that we recommend ya keep away from him if ya wanna keep yer limbs.
Magus dolls will tolerate other dolls ta a limit. He'll get along alright, not great, with other solemn, serious dolls such as himself. Perky, hyper dolls drive him ta kill.
Magus dolls have bizarre relationships with Frog and Crono dolls. Especially Crono dolls. We'd recommend keepin Magus away from da Frog dolls tho. Really.
Get Magus a Schala doll if at all possible. Really. We're serious about that. It's fer his own good.
Magus dolls don't get along with Zeal dolls. Good luck findin one of THOSE.
Magus dolls also get along okay with Ozzie, Flea, and Slash dolls. In that kinda "I'm yer ruthless leader and yer my bumbling morons" kinda way.
Never bring anythin that looks like a porcupine near him. Or mention 1999. Or 12,000. Or da Masamune. Or da Mammon Machine, da Ocean Palace, Queen Zeal, Schala...
Magus is very, very quiet. All da better ta wake ya up at night with a scythe one inch from yer nose. Ya have been warned.
Oh yeah, don't bring any Cyrus dolls near him.
Remember, Magus works alone, but man, he's good alone. Real good.
Adopt one today!

~*Zell Doll*~
CHICKENWUSS!

HOTDOGS! HOOOOOOOOOOTDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGS adopt him now.
Our Zell doll is made of some kind of durable material that came from somewhere we can't even understand! Except his face, that's felt. His tattoo is permanently painted on. PERMANENTLYYYYYY. Yeah. So you could, say throw Zell out a window (or you might not have to, it depends) or inta a fan or somethin and he'll be fine. HE"S DURABLE! And HYPER-ACTIVE! ::tromps in cement::
Zell's get along with everyone. Even dolls that hate them! In fact, that's their speciality. If ya want yer angsty stoic doll ta loosen up (or have their head explode, either way), just throw Zell bodily at them and watch da flashing colors and action shots! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR TALK! NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION!
Zell's in particular get along with Irvine's, Squall's, and maybe Rinoa, Quistis, or Selphie (Pfff good luck finding those). Don't put him with a Seifer doll. Seriously.
Don't call Zell a chicken. Or a wuss. Or perhaps some EVIL COMBINATION OF both. BOTH. Da idea staggers da mind. Yeah, don't call him that.
Zell likes da hotdogs. Loves em good. They'll be gone da minute ya buy em at da store. He'll be under yer coat somehow, or maybe hiding in da breadsticks. Mmm, breadsticks.
Zell dolls are ridiculously hyper. And like ta punch things. Not da best of combinations. Did we mention they love meetin new peeps?
Zell dolls are great gymnasts. Let him flip around on da floor a bit, it's good fer him.
Zell is extremely, extremely naive. And he makes mistakes. Big ones. PATIENCE young one PATIENCE.
Don't let him punch ANYthing.
Adopt one today!

~*Cyan Doll*~
MR. THOU

Da faithful retainer of da doomed king of Doma is now available ta own! Isn't he cute?
Cyan is made of sturdy stuff. Like bricks. LIKE DA STONES OF HIS BELOVED CASTLE. Yes. Too bad Kefka poisoned everyone. ANYWAY, Cyan's hair is real soft and stuff. Like that weird hair stuff. It's real soft and it has a ponytail and everything. Cyan does not come with a sword. However, unlike other dolls where if ya give em a sword they try ta KILL, Cyan protects people. Yeah. Cause he's a knight. And he's cool like that.
Cyan's talk in that supposedly medieval way. Yup. They don't appreciate being made fun of either. I wouldn't do that if I was you.
Cyan's can do some crazy stuff with a sword. Like...crazy stuff. Real crazy stuff. Be careful. Cause it's like...crazy.
DOOO NOOOOOOOOT put Cyan with Kefka. I am DEAD serious cause ONE of em will wind up with no stuffing or on fire. I don't wanna bet either way cause that would show favoritism. Yeah.
Cyan's will normally get along with other dolls from FFIII/VI. Yup. They're on pretty good terms with Sabin, if I recall. Yeah.
They're brave. Really brave. They can take down entire mercenary bases with one hugely furious explosion of rage! Too many adjectives.
Cyan had a family once. He will show sadness if they are mentioned. I wouldn't bring him near Doomtrain. There's an idea...a Doomtrain doll! If we do make one don't bring it near him. I wouldn't bring reincarnated zombie dolls near Cyan either. I dunno, cause most dolls don't like zombies and I don't think Cyan is an exception.
Again, KEFKA+CYAN=BAD. BAAAAAAAD.
Adopt one today!

~*Zorn and Thorn Dolls*~
JESTERS OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOn

It's those minor twin jesters from FFIX! Ya know, da ones who made da Waltzes? And...um...extracted Eidolons? COME ON! They were important! Ya fought em like, three times! Doesn't anyone remember them?! ARGH!
Zorn and Thorn are made from silky kinda pretty things. They're all shiny and really soft. And stuff. They got dingly bells on their hats. Ding. Those hats don't come off by da way. Not without Z an T's heads. Great tennis balls. WAIT NO
Z an T are NOT on good relations with other FFIX dolls. Not even Kuja, who really abuses them. Everyone abuses them. POOR JESTERS! ::sobs:: They're best left ta their own devices. And their own piano. BEAUTIFUL MUSIC ENSUES!
Zorn and Thorn can juggle some crazy stuff. They are jesters. They can entertain ya. They can also irritate da livin heck outta yas. Um. But they can juggle real good.
They like ta jump up and down. Jumpa jumpa. Fer da LAST TIME we did NOT order a giant trampoline! Look pal, ya COULDA told me that BEFORE I set it up.
Z an T need love. Love. Or they'll twirl away like those little paper helicoptors. Did anyone make those?
Z an T can make some pretty crazy stuff. I wouldn't put them with any Waltzes. If they don't make any. They shouldn't if there's no Kuja's or Brahne's around.
Heh heh. Put Z an T with a Eiko or Garnet doll. That'd be great. Watch em pull da eidolons outta em! MWA HA!.
if Z an T go Meltigemini, RUN DARN IT RUN.
Z an T are never, ever apart. It's like those old cartoons. Ya can throw one out da window, and then look down and THERE IT IS OH NO!
Adopt em today!

~*Samus Doll*~
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUAAAAAAAAAA

Samus Aran, intergalactic bounty hunter! God, I love you. I LOVE YOU SAMUS
Samus looks like she's made outta metal, but she's not really. It's like, kidna stiffly stuffed fabric. So she'll retain her shape but ya CAN STILL SQUEEZE HER! Her visors made of plastic and so is her blaster thingy. Ya can take off her helmet too! She's got real real real pretty blonde hair. Yeah. She doesn't like that if ya don't beat da game under 3 hours tho. Otherwise ya may die.
Samus will get along with most dolls, but not all. She doesn't like peeps hitting on her. SHE'S A LONER LONER LONER. Da path of da most magnificent character on earth is lonely but SO BEAUTIFUL ::sobs::
Our Samus also comes with a free Metroid doll! Throw it in da air and watch it get frozen in an instant! We took away Samus' missles after a lot of mishaps. So things can't explode quite as much as before. She's still got her freeze beam tho. NOT GOOD.
Do NOT put her with Mother Brain, Kraid, or Ridley dolls. Or Phantoon or Draygon dolls. Not a good idea.
Samus may come back with a little Metroid hovering around her. DO NOT TOUCH IT FER DA LOVE OF GOD.
If ya lose somethin like, under da sink or under yer house or in da basement or somethin, send Samus in after it! She'll get it real good. She's good at mazes and stuff.
Don't let her screw attack ANYTHING. She may drop bombs all over. WATCH OUT FER THAT TELLTALE BEEP NOISE!
Samus and Captain Falcon...? Not a good idea.
God, Samus is cool. She's so cool. Ya can hug her if ya want too. Just be careful.
Adopt one today!

~*Luigi Doll*~
THE UKE PLUMBER!

It's-a me, Luigi! Let's-a go!
Luigi's jeans are made of like...denim and stuff and his shirt is fuzzy and kinda soft. Fuzz! Yes. His hat can't be removed. Nope. Ya can play with moustache tho. It's soft too. YES! He's so darn cute. Gloves and boots are not removable.
Luigi's do best when given time ta themselves. They can write in diaries, or suck up ghosts, or do other crazy things like that. Perhaps even travel the WORLD! YES! IN SEARCH OF MARIO! YES! God that music was great.
His eyes are so pretty.
Fer some reason, Luigi loses out on a ton of stuff. What da heck? Why wasn't he in Super Mario RPG? OR even Paper Mario?! What's with that?! WHAT'S WITH THAT?!
If ya beat da level with 2 as da last digit, Luigi will jump outta somewhere and bounce on mario. It's da best thing in da world.
Luigi's love hugs. They need so much love. They're so lonely and sad. POOR LUIGI ARGH ::hugs:: Oh yeah, keep Waluigi away from him. That'd be a bad idea.
Luigi's are good at tennis. And minikart racing! And goin ta big parties and beatin da pants off people in that Shyguy accuracy game! HA HA! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!
Ya may find Luigi in weird places. Like, in yer closet or yer pocket or something. He's never around when he SHOULD be. He needs more games darn it. He's a great guy. HE's all brave and stuff.
If ya got a ghost problem, throw Luigi in there. With much cute shaking and hesitation, he'll solve yer problem! He's so cute! ARGH! AAAAAAARGH!
Adopt em today!

~*Jeff Doll*~
MULTIBOTTLE ROCKETS

Earthbound was a great game. A great great game. And that friggin Kraken killed Jeff. But don't let that deter ya! Cause Jeff is a good dolly. GOOD DOLL ::whpish::
Jeff has shiny hair made of something shiny. That hair stuff again? No. But somethin kinda similiar. Cause his hair isn't that soft. But it's awfully shiny tho. Satin hair? I dunno, maybe. ANYWAY his suit is made outta cotton. America's past-time. That raygun is included. And he'll make more. But some of em will suck. Which brings me ta my next point of recycle. Or else Jeff will do it fer ya. And then ya'll be screwed. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, he's got plastic shoes. Ya can't remove his glasses either. That would be mean.
Yeah, Jeff will save yer butt. He's good at that. Ya can be like, cornered by some bizarrely evil normal thing like a cup of coffee or a streetsign and Jeff will save yer butt. Cause he's cool like that. He can't even heal himself and he's still so incredibly cool. It's all like "WOO I can do 700 damage with my Psi!" and Jeff is like "I CAN DO OVER 1000 SUCKERS" and it only costs like, 2000 bucks. I think. I mean, wait no. I wouldn't give Jeff anything. Cause he'll turn it inta weird stuff. Like...stuff.
Anyway, Jeff is not very brave or anything. He's a timid little boy of science. Yes. He lives in da snow. This means Jeff can withstand temperatures up ta negative fifty MILLION DEGREES. I dunno where ya could find someplace that cold. Maybe Zelgadis' heart. Wait, that was mean. Sorry. But Jeff can take it. I mean, he lived in Winters and it's friggin freezin there and he's wanderin around in his SCHOOL OUTFIT. Jeff's da man.
Oh god my vision just got all blurry. That's not good at all.
Jeff gets along with monkeys. Yeah. Monkeys. Pop. Woo. Woosh. Wind. And then fire burned. And there was danger. NO DUUUUUUH
Anyway, Jeff uses guns. He can make stuff outta anything. It's like "Oh, I'm done with this toothpick" and Jeff is like "PFF YER NOT NOW LOOK IT'S A DEATH RAY" and yer like "OH NO ::turn inta paper::"
So be careful with da Jeff. He's such a sweet boy. yes. Good ta his non-existent mother.
He likes Mr. Saturns. Yeah. Yeah and stuff. And maybe donuts. Wait no, that's just his dad. Never mind. He likes da Saturns tho. But everyone loves da Saturns. Anyone who doesn't is a dirty commie.
Jeff is pretty. No, seriously.
He gets along good with da other chosen four. Yeah. And stuff.
Adopt one today!

~*Ness Doll*~
PK CRAZY

I'm gonna put this doll ta my forehead and concentrate.
Yes, it's yer very own NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeessssssssss ::like those racetrack people::. RAPTURE! ROLL AND CONVULSE IN JOY! DIE I mean, love. I bring you love. NO ::gets hit with rocks::
Ya can't take off his hat.
Ness's hair is all yarn. Kayarn. Yeah. It's not MYSTERIOUS AND OTHERWORLDLY like some of these OTHER dolls. Darn it. I wish I knew what da heck my hands were doin sometimes. Just like in that movie I never saw. Idle hands or something. Wait, I don't think that relates at all. CLAMS HAVE FEELINGS TOO WOOOO he comes with that bat as well. I wouldn't mess with that. Ness wears normal clothes. No freaky weird clothe substances. I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong.
Mmm, Sunkist knockoff.
Ness has tEh PsYcHiC pOwAAZ!!! Yes. He can blow yer head up. Or make you see flashing lights. Which makes you die fer some reason. DARN IT JEFF.
Ness is a huge tank. This is a doll that could put that creepy buddy lee ta shame. I want Buddy Lee ta die. He scares me. But Ness WON'T DIE cause I swear ta god one time he went up a level and got 290 HP! WHAT DA HECK?! I swear ta god. He's ridiculously overpowered. Yeah. Or something.
Ness must SAVE THE EARTH! Can you press B to save the earth? I want that shirt.
Ness gets like all da important psi powers too. He can spin in circles and go places. NAME ALL THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHO CAN DO THAT! You have ten seconds.
Ness has a dog. Yup. And a sister. It will also become apparent he has a mother as well. Cookies? No. Ramen. RAMEN.
Weird things happen ta Ness dolls. He gets along good with almost everyone tho. He's a nice psychic boy that Ness. He never saw it coming.
By da way, don't eat da Magic cake. Or give Ness tea. That'd be terrible. This is not da doll fer tea parties. That'd be more like..Zelgadis. Cause that doll would be hilarious at a Tea Party. and Maybe Vrumugun and Magus too. That'd be fantastic. MWA HA HA. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, acid trips. Stay off drugs, kids.
Buzz. BUZZZZZZZZZZ
Adopt one today!

~*Paula Doll*~
KILME

KILME! I mean, Paula. I'm doing these out of order. EAT ME! I want strawberries. That'd make a great snack. EAT ME! strawberries. Wait, I think that already exists.
Paula's awfully pink, isn't she?
Paula's hair is yarn too. I don't know what else ta make it out of. There's that weird hair stuff and...da other thing. Press select. Fireball. NO YOU FOOL YOU'VE TRAPPED US IN THE CAVE FOREVER!
Paula wears a lot of pink. Yup. Her dress seems pretty sturdy tho. Takes a lot of abuse. From mushrooms and retro hippies. Buy Paula, get Quality. That sounds so wrong.
Fer some reason Paula has NO HP. WHY IS THIS? WHY? She's a black mage but she has NO HP it's really irritating. JEFF has more then her. What da HECK? Pssh. Paula can really blow yer face off tho if she's mad. Yeah. Or whack you with a frying pan.
Actually, now that I think about it, Princess and Paula are very similiar. Both pink, both blond, both have blue eyes I think...weird. Except Princess isn't a black mage. BUT STILL CREEPY EH? EH? ::pours a bucket of blood on you:: Call me Excessor the pirate.
Paula will find teddy bears and go right fer em. Yeah. Bury herself in them like some kind of demon seed. Terrible they are. The bear population live in fear of her. The be-bowed one they called her. She left a terrible legacy on their people. Ever wonder why teddy bears have such blank expressions? They're constantly on the look out for her. ...HER. THERE SHE IS BEHIND YOU AAAAAAAAGH GENERIC FRIGHTENED EXCLAMATION!
Kilme's are rather nice ta other dolls actually. Actually, all da earthbound dolls are rather nice ta other peeps. Good dollies they be. Yes. Yup. Woo. YEAH. BUTTERFLY! SOMETHING! Something.
I should make some Eternal Darkness dolls.
So...depressing!
Anyway, Kilme. I mean...Paula. Oh my god, how many times have I called her that so far? Pssh. It's not that important. Ya know who I'm talkin about. Hee hee. I don't like female videogame characters often. Yeah. So her name was Kilme. And she did that job very well. WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE MORE HP!? WHY!? WHY!? ARGH!
Don't paint her blue.
Adopt one today!

~*Poo Doll*~
KILME

Don't laugh at his name. Yeah you mr Pink shirt. I'm serious. Don't make me come over there and shove a brainfood lunch in yer head.
Poo is cool! He's da prince of Dalaam. He's got a big pile of yarn on his head and one long strand that magically floats around. Wooba wooba wooba. Like that. JUST LIKE THAT no yer doin it wrong. Tappa tappa tappa SWOO tappa SWOO tappa YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO RHYTHM ::runs upstairs::
Na na na na na re na re na re oh my god that song isn't even playing. MUST FOCUS ::meditates::
Poo wears a gi! I think. That means it's all stiff and stuff. And rough. YEAH. Be careful. You may rub yer eye raw on it somehow. I'm tryin ta picture that and it's hilarious. Just this guy holding this Poo doll directly against his eye and then slowly moving it up and down as if lookin fer loose threads. It's hilarious. Just try and picture that. Honest. BWA HA HA HA! Anyway.
Poo is a playboy. Yer girly dolls will love the Poo. Yes. Cause he's handsome. AND HE'S A PRINCE! HA! YEAH! And he's a good guy too. Yeah.
Sometimes, yer Poo will find someplace high and sit there. Then he will lose his arms, legs, and all of his senses. This is his mu training. Don't make cow jokes or he'll throw little glow in the dark stars at you.
Oh yeah, Poo can also blow yer head up. I would really take this inta account. I would also watch out fer other dolls safety. Cause Poo is nice and all but he's not like all tolerant all knowing and all powerful. Like...I dunno. I can't think of anyone like that right now.
Poo is pretty tolerant of yer antics. Yup.
WARK WARK WARK WARK WARK
He can make presents out of thin air! And he can drink water and GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. Amazing.
Poo sometimes gets whisked away by spinning things. Ka spin. He can spin and go places too. THAT MAKES TWO! He'll save yer butt. He's da Poo. And he can do cool stuff. Oh yeah, he can change forms inta other things. So watch out fer that. It's never a good idea ta have two Kuja's runnin around or something. Bad idea. Yes.
HEADPHONES! HEADPHONES! SHRRIP! BLOOD! HAHAHAHAHA so clever. Yes. Headphones. Mwa ha ha ha.
I really think I'm starting to lose it at this point.

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