Legend of the Blue Wolves

Do you even lift bro



Current Zar note: I eventually branched out from just doing game screencaps to doing them for yaoi as well since a bunch of yaoi is ridiculous. As a warning, if you're unfamiliar with yaoi, it in general plays pretty fast and loose with consent! There is often a lot of "no but yes" on the uke's part and at times it's just flat-out rape. I usually mention if it's rape, but "no but yes" shows up a lot in yaoi so be warned if you are sensitive to that kind of thing! Otherwise it's just something you've got to roll with.

Most yaoi also involves sex so these are DEFINITELY NSFW and are for adults only!

I did this LP (?) in 2009! I left my write-up mostly unchanged.




I was downloading a bunch of different stuff to try and find something interesting for you guys. Each one of the these I've done so far has some quality about them that makes them different, in a way. I don't want to do something lame like Kashi no Tsuki or Angel Feather where nothing happens, the plot is convoluted and stupid, there's no animation budget, and it's just boring. So I try to find ones that have some outstanding quality about them, even if it's just being outstandingly horrible like Okane ga Nai.

I downloaded this one again somewhat blind. I think it goes under two names (Legend of the Blue Wolves/Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) and that the company was intending to make more but then went bankrupt after making this one, so this is the only thing left.

But Legend of the Blue Wolves has several things going for it that set it apart from the crowd.

A - Seme and Uke both look like really ripped men.

B - There are no-holds-barred, not-censored-in-the-least peens in this in all their goofy looking glory. No glowing cones, beams of light, or invisiwangs. Straight up, non-censored penises. I was pretty shocked by this, as you can imagine.

C - A RAPIST GETS HIS PENIS CUT OFF.

All these things made this seem like a worthwhile choice. :B

BECAUSE OF POINT B MENTIONED ABOVE, THIS IS NOT AT ALL SAFE FOR WORK, way more so than any of the other ones I've done. LEGEND OF THE BLUE WOLVES TAKES NO PRISONERS AND HIDES NO PENISES. So keep that in mind.

If you want to watch it yourself, you can download it here if you register an account real quick.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

I tried to keep shots of the peens to a minimum since I usually don't take caps of sex scenes except to lol at them, but with this one it was hard to avoid peens. Or sex scenes. And also I'm still pretty impressed that this just flat-out goes there. The only other one I've seen that was this explicit was Sensitive Pornograph, and that one was mostly boring so I'll probably never do it. Also the sounds in it were really gross. Like someone jamming their fist in a bucket of macaroni and cheese. D:

AND WITH THAT PLEASANT IMAGE, LET'S GO!

Lens flare! High quality.

Heh, already the film quality looks a little dated.

was awesome! Please come visit!

They didn't find any. The end.

too crunchy.

9.99 a month, 19.99 for movie packages.

WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE A PLANET?

it was boring, trust us, just move along

mostly due to their own incompetence

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE. >:( I'M JUMPING OUT THE AIRLOCK.

If this starts going down the Sublunary route then I am turning it off.

being that their imaginations were deeply stunted

But time is like a river, and history repeats

Woah, Akira flashback all of a sudden.

Well that's a straightforward name for you. No silly nickname for you I guess.

FUN TRIVIA - The guy who does Jonathan Tyberius's voice is also the voice actor for Touga from Utena, Hotohori from Fushigi Yuugi, Glyde from Megaman Legends, AND UKEBRO FROM LEVEL C. HAHAHAHAHAHA

But your parents love you very much anyway.

The power of bleach.

"Was it really necessary for me to be naked?"

"YOUR CLOTHES MIGHT GIVE YOU AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE"

Your mom and I, we're getting a divorce.

And they all really don't like you.

I LIKE THOSE ODDS!

Jonathan Tyberius don't stop no tests just cause they have a 90% mortality rate LET'S DO THIS

Is it necessary to have this metal thing punching my crotch?

what

what

WELL THAT WAS FUN, TIME FOR CREDITS!

The credits are incredibly boring. It does play this fairly hilarious piano music over it though.

Well hey look at that there.

WOOP

This big spinning Starbase looking thing is under attack! The animation in this is pretty good, believe it or not. It's kind of refreshing.

NO IT TOOK AGES TO BUILD ON THAT WALL

YOU HUMANS AIN'T GOING NOWHERE

FACE THE WRATH OF OUR ORIGAMI SPACESHIP

I knew not paying my credit card bill on time was going to come back and haunt me.

Bunch of mechas shoot each other, etc.

LOOK OUT FOR THE TONGUE OF LIGHT

Ooh, too late.

For kicks, mostly.

Those are some pretty flexible weapons to be able to use an alien species as a fuel source.

ha ha can't see me

Religious leaders were torn about this.

What a beautiful snowflake, I'm going to put this on the fridge.

Hi Jonathan Tyberius, looking as determined as ever I see.

MY NAME IS JONATHAN TYBERIUS

I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM A FREE MAN

And not spears of light, as we saw before.

It's lovely there this time of year.

:|

A GAY PROMISE?

answer: yes

Man, make up your mind.

The only volume, as it turns out. OOOOH CAUSE THE OTHER SIX DUDES WHO DID THE BEAMS OF LIGHT THING DIED

Two people have sex under some neon floodlights. WELL nice to see we're getting started right away.

Since you're clearly radioactive and not long for this world anyway.

lol purple hair

COULD THIS MAN BE A VILLAIN?

CALL IN AND VOTE!

Well he's fat, so he's evil. Glad to have that settled.

Come to think of it, the only anime thing I've seen where the obese character wasn't evil was that Paprika movie.

Anyway, this is basically your typical DO IT TO ME HARD

ASK ME FIRST

sort of exchange

I assume you know how these tend to go.

I thought that was what we were already doing?!

!

Was not prepared to see this my first time around. NO CENSOR BARS AT ALL. Anyway, blowjob ensues, etc.

And then fairly graphic sex! Well Legend of Blue Wolves you certainly aren't taking prisoners here.

A reach around! Huh. You don't see that too often.

What a charming couple.

OH SHI-

Jonathan Tyberius is driving in the desert. Jonathan Tyberius is a very busy man.

Anyway he manages to drive right into some mecha exercises or something and nearly gets squished, but someone manages to step in the way at the last minute! I would have got some caps of this but they were kind of confusing unless you're watching it. :B

WHOOPS!

Anyway, it turns out that Leonard Schteinberg saved his bacon! Is this the beginning of a beautiful relationship?

No one can keep their balance around here.

THEY'D JUST SCREW YOU IN IT

HA HA HA HA HA

Anyway

Brave, crosseyed boys.

Well hey, what are the odds of that.

OH GOD HE'S A WHITTLER

RUN JONATHAN TYBERIUS

you lookin at my whittlin

so beautiful

I'm going to kick your a--.

wait what

Leonard has ~*~trauma~*~ apparently

Whoop, Jonathan Tyberius is shorter. I already had him pegged as uke though. Something about his face.

oh god i'm going to have to clean this hand now

YOU A LOOSE CANNON? WE D0N'T HAVE ROOM FOR ANY MORE OF THOSE

This is legitimately cute to me. He just bonks his own face with this doofy smile. Ha ha.

STOP IT I'LL KILL YOU %(

Yeah, that's right, bend over.

Jonathan Tyberius really seems to be taking this well.

Well okay, if you want to talk about that instead.

FORESHADOWING?!

Jonathan Tyberius decides to flashback for our benefit. Oh sure, blame your mom.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Jonathan Tyberius you are not getting into it

Jonathan Tyberius nearly falls off a mountain.

MY BEAUTIFUL BLOND ANGEL

Or not. I don't know.

Maybe? I forget. Well, anyway.

Jonathan Tyberius why are you glaring at Leonard, he's not your mom.

"Burn it all, Jonathan Tyberius. Burn it all down!"

Haha anyway they do some virtual reality training and such, and Jonathan Tyberius screws up and dies. I had to take a cap of the death screen for obvious reasons.

Jonathan Tyberius: >:(

I don't know, my timing on these caps was all off, so it's actually Leonard saying this, not Jonathan Tyberius.

And now Jonathan Tyberius is talking. WOO.

Guys I have a feeling this is not going to have a happy ending. :(

Jonathan Tyberius makes a HUH HUH :D face at Leonard, who seems to take it well.

Sorry, my pants were itching.

I'm usually annoyed by the Height Rule or whatever, but for some reason this strikes me as kind of cute. Jonathan Tyberius all :D and just a little tinier than Leonard. AT LEAST HE DOESN'T COME UP TO HIS WAIST, LIKE SOME SHOWS I COULD NAME.

This was just kind of interesting to me. They call Jonathan Tyberius's name, and Leonard stops, then keeps walking without turning around or anything. It was just a pretty well done "WELL THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE ME" kind of moment.

Oh Continental, take me away~

Duh?

Bad sign: Your commanding officer carries a riding crop.

Boy, you gon get raped

Jonathan Tyberius doesn't get it.

Continental Airline's fellow rapist locks the door. GOOD TIMES AHEAD, GUYS!

But not your clothes. Better take those off.

Breakfast?

Continental Breakfast shoves Jonathan Tyberius back to emphasize his point.

They pronounce "sir" in English, so it's kind of a SAH, YES SAH

hehehe

Continental Flights where are your pupils young man

SHOCKING TWIST

Jonathan Tyberius doesn't stand for this malarky.

IT'S AT THIS POINT THAT ONE MIGHT BEGIN TO SUSPECT THAT SOMETHING IS AMISS

Jonathan Tyberius won't let you see him cry.

I'm glad they have a harness like that just lying around.

And my shoulder?

BLAAAAAAAR

Jonathan Tyberius says this in a really amusing way to me. It's all spiteful. SAH. NOOOO SAH.

Look once you're in the harness you have to play along, we don't have all day

And then Continental Flight 815 whips him with that crop a bunch. Jonathan Tyberius takes it like a man.

Right in the face!

Wow, Jonathan Tyberius is one hard motherf---er.

And give me back my clothes.

And then, bizarrely enough, it just cuts to Jonathan Tyberius back in his room. Did Continental Grapes just let him go? Okay whatever.

Leonard is sleeping go away

Jonathan Tyberius: :<

Jonathan Tyberius is a philosopher.

And then he wibbles a little bit.

Leonard: Hey could you stop that trying to sleep here okay

Oh this'll go well.

Leonard suspects treachery.

This is reminding me of some fighting game. Street Fighter? King of Fighters? Frick, I can't remember. Eh, whatever.

KING HIPPO FROM PUNCH OUT, THAT'S IT.

Jonathan Tyberius pull it together

OH NO

Jonathan Tyberius did you buy your martial arts diploma at an online diploma mill

I like his spirit, to be honest with you guys. It's nice to see an uke that doesn't just roll over in the face of conflict.

Jonathan Tyberius you kind of suck at this.

LEONARD TO THE RESCUE!

Aww. Sorry. WHY IS THIS GETTING TO ME WTF.

You turned my hands into lobster claws, I'll never forgive you!

KIAI

In your face, Continental Buffet.

Haha looks like you killed him haha oh well let's go

Jonathan Tyberius plays with his mommy's rouge.

"I don't know, you were naked so I thought I'd be naked too, seemed like that was the vibe in the room."

Here, let me rub some butter on your abs.

Especially your nipples, let me see these here.

Anyway Leonard fondles Jonathan Tyberius for a while, causing Jonathan Tyberius to think quietly to himself and stare at him and slowly come to a realization.

a hopeless drunk?

We'll go on a bender when you're good and ready.

Seme is not a psycho rapist - +50 points for Legend of the Blue Wolves.

Shoulders. So hot right now.

Jonathan Tyberius has a flashback for your pleasure.

I like Jonathan Tyberius's mom, she's fierce.

Didn't I see you in Robotech?

Mooooooooom dark eyed young men are bathing in the backyard again!

Young Jonathan Tyberius's sexual awakening.

Haha well, that'll do it, yeah.

DOES THIS MEAN SOMETHING??

Don't you dare judge me.

I was what? WHAT? Jonathan Tyberius don't leave me hanging

Well we've cut to another scene, so I guess we'll never know.

Emergency rape call.

Sir there's a perfectly good door knob

Jonathan Tyberius I think you are in trouble here.

Leonard again suspects treachery.

Hey that's the purple haired guy from the beginning! Well what do you know. I'd say I was wondering what happened to him but I honestly wasn't.

They search Leonard, who ain't got nothin.

But they plant something on Jonathan Tyberius! Jonathan Tyberius won't stand for this!

What a darling hairclip.

How'd they get that? Did they just make replicas? The Apocalypse looked like 20 feet tall.

Jonathan Tyberius will kill you in your sleep.

So are you man? I thought we knew each other bro, what gives

With some RAPE

THINGS LOOK BAD FOR JONATHAN TYBERIUS

Take a shower, you're filthy.

Oh thanks for that, that's nice.

So hot right now.

Leonard and his short shorts are being marched away.

Why do people keep making shirts out of tissue paper?

Jonathan Tyberius can't believe this s---.

Yeah, that'll work.

Pow!

We interrupt this rape for Toes: The Untold Story.

Oh thank god someone else, please help me

Oh godD--- IT.

This guy just kind of pinches his pecs, it's actually kind of hilarious.

Leonard realizes that he can't abandon Jonathan Tyberius, his brother's lookalike, to be raped silly. TIME FOR ACTION!

Sandals, for those warm months.

Well, that's done, anyway.

HURRY LEONARD, WE HAVEN'T MUCH TIME!

WOAH

Well I can honestly say I didn't expect to see that.

This time it'll work for sure!

He's being raped, I can tell.

So I guess if you pledge your loyalty to Continental Breakfast you get to become his partner in rape.

Uh oh Mom's home

Leonard: D:<

Jonathan Tyberius is ashamed.

Wow, that was even more satisfying than I would have thought. This needs to happen more often.

BUT THERE PROBABLY ISN'T A CONNECTION

Like when I cut off that guy's penis, that was great.

I don't know why I like how his boots are shorter. What is wrong with me.

Jonathan Tyberius's heart broke that day.

MEANWHILE, MECH BATTLE

Jonathan Tyberius faces off against an Apocalypse and...

OH NO WHO SAW THIS COMING

Aaaand back to before Leonard left.

I assume these two have been chatting off-screen, apparently.

snuggles

AND SO THEY DID

As much as I hate the Healing Sex cliche, I have to admit this time I was like you know what, go for it Legend of the Blue Wolves. Have a nice consensual sex scene between these two.

They had sex on a huge spiderweb.

Jonathan Tyberius, please don't swoon.

SURE, WHY NOT

WAIT YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Leonard you look kind of murderous to be honest

Jonathan Tyberius stop it just get over here stop squiggling around

unf unf orgasms unf you know how it goes

BUT WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE

lolol

Is this really the time

Jonathan Tyberius just wants some sugar, baby.

Hahaha his hand hahahaha

Jonathan Tyberius: :<

Apocalypse: SHOOT AND KILL YOU, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?

While reminiscing about his gay lover, he gets snagged by what looks like a giant pair of tweezers. WOOPS.

Hey Leonard how's it going

IT WAS A JOKE OH MY GOD YOU STABBED ME

Jonathan Tyberius doesn't let helmets stand in the way of his last smooch.

But Leonard pushes him away moments before the Apocalypse explodes! Was Leonard still there somewhere? GASP.

He's gone, honey.

Manly tears.

SALUTE!

Apparently, all we needed were knives. Someone's getting fired over this.

Anyway, credits. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Who are these people and what are they talking about

That's a dumb name.

But then it wasn't, so we'll never find out the deal behind these two.

THE END! If nothing else I can say with some certainty that Legend of the Blue Wolves is pretty unique. :O And somehow I did actually feel pretty satisfied when Leonard and Jonathan Tyberius finally got together, it was just kind of a "aww finally some nice sex for Jonathan Tyberius" and Leonard was nice and you know what, good for them.

Also refreshingly simple compared to some of the other insane things I've done (cough ai no kusabi). Was there a manga or something? I'd look it up but I don't care that much.

I'm thinking of maybe doing Zetsuai next, it's like a Linkin Park song in animated form. WE'LL SEE.

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