~Read about Space Pony's Many sexual exciting adventures~
~Gaze more upon the awesome beauty of Space Pony, as interpreted by various artists~
~Marvel in Glee as Space Pony acts out some of your favorite Dance Dance Revolution Songs~
~Read the previous descriptions of Space Pony, which all fall woefully short of capturing his majesty and beauty~
His ocular orbs are dazzling shining sapphires that pierce your very umbra with their pulchritude and dolor, set in a chiseled, handsome face. His pelt is the unsullied and shiny achromatic hue of a salubrious equine, the same iridescence as glittering starlight on a night when the night-sky's-eye partially drapes the landscape in its ivory folds. His hooves are darkest ebony, glossy and lustrous with care, and his coiffure cascades from his cranium like the wildest untamed ocean, its unruly azure locks feebly, uselessly, and dare I say...teasingly tied back with a single ultramarine hair tie. Although he is not the most altitudinous of creatures, his body is incredibly desirable, and you find yourself holding back from jumping that beautiful pony right now! His lanky chassis is covered with not-so-hidden musculature and you can see the hypnotic ambulation of his sculpted, chiseled thighs as he walks by, flicking his beautifully groomed tail. You must have him. He is perfection.
Then he opens his mouth.

Name: Space Pony
Species: A Pony of Space. And just for the record, a dead sexy pony of space. A sexy sexy pony, that Space Pony is. That sexy, sexy, dead sexy pony of space.
A Pathetic Excuse for a Background: Space Pony once was very smart. Then he decided being smart was boring. So he went insane. This is why, in the midst of his incoherent gibberish, he will quote Shakespeare. Thus is the way with those too-sexy Space Ponies.

Note: If Space Pony dies inside his heart, then that means he is going to leave. That is when to throw the party.
Additional Note: I said "dies inside his heart", not dies, you idiot. Don't throw that party just yet.

Space Pony has been kicked in the nuts nine times.
Space Pony has been castrated twice.
Space Pony has had boiling grease poured all over him once.
Space Pony has been called almost any bad name imaginable.
Space Pony has been smacked, kicked, punched, slapped, beaten, punted, squished, squoshed, stampeded, bitten, flattened, trampled, cabbited, or otherwise hurt for his behavior far too many times to count.